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Word by Word Story - Volume 35


First of My Name

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ruthlessly abducted by

Volume 35:

BOOM! A hidden bomb exploded. Duke Milky Way's palace burst into flame. Gold toilets were overflowing. Silver roofs were torn apart by Cthulhu, who had previously smuggled the castle's aquatic freedom fighters out of their drenched seats of power. Halfdan entered the ruins, smiling. "Wipe that smile off your face," cried the dying Duke. The duel was short, Halfdan was bloodied and the people all screamed "Die!". Mayhaps he would have lived if not for the weeping sores located on his buttocks. Halfdan screamed at the Duke, "Now we die!" He pressed an ominous red button, but the laser beams ripped both of his hands off. He cried and screamed profanities at the people who lay dying around him. Mr. Angry traded the laser with him for masculinity. "E tu, Mr. Angry? Then fall, Caesar - I mean Halfdan!" Suddenly, the bombmaker appeared. He saw the mutilated corpses, and decided blowing them up was quite profitable, so he took some of his aunt's savings and started a bomb-making club. Sadly, he was attacked by the Duke's surviving loyal men, who thought they could fly into the clubhouse with explosives, painted bright red and shouting, "For the Duke, you bastards!" Meanwhile, the shocked cupbearer refused the aquatic freedom fighters in the face of overwhelming odds. He was sacrificed to Cthulhu, sp the rest of the slaves would fear their masters. The Duke's fate seemed certain. He never could keep his life force, leaving the wound to fester. His wet nurse was terrified, and decided to pour backhanded compliments on him like syrup on Pancake Day. Yet he still died in agony. Lucifer wanted his soul for Hell's upcoming sexy tea-party, featuring the cast of 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' However, the tea party ended when random fried chicken eaters dashed all the hopes of the damned assembled, by dropping excrements into the teapot, which made the tea undrinkable. This angered Satan, who decided to scale Mt. Olympus wearing nothing but a bikini top and glittery high heels. At the top, he invited 1000 close friends to a gala fundraiser for Cthulhu's political campaign to become the next POV character in ASOIAF. Most contributors pledged Bitcoins and fluffy pandas to rescue spacecraft trapped on Neptune, but everyone OD'd on Twinkies and boiled sea-slug fat. The failure led to mass swearing and slug fat wrestling, which was highly entertaining until the moon crashed into the village. Destruction was complete, chaos reigned, and many slugs perished. The loss of the slugs saddened princess Mushroom and she thought, Why should I continue my lifelong struggle for the perfect omelette, which was taken from me long ago. I vowed to never be without slug-fat again. Learning to live slug-fat free is harder than you'd think. Just then, princess Mushroom realized that her life would be absolute shit without the love of a knight like no other, a muscled hero with long ass-fissures due to extreme horse-back riding. She went to the local fertility clinic to buy creamsicles, which tasted great. She returned to the ship unsatisfied, only to be ruthlessly abducted by

(I like the new way. Thanks for all of your typing FoMN. You're the best.)

Thanks :)

I think the next versions will just be regular-style, and we'll do it this way in some threads.

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