honeyed chicken Posted June 24, 2019 Author Share Posted June 24, 2019 They say that necessity is the mother of invention, but CB doesn't really "need" to watch Star Wars, New Hope for the 314th time, but he will anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 Chicken once accidentally swallowed a Boba Fett action figure and found a new meaning for the word "pain" as he's been trying to digest little Boba for what feels like a thousand years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted June 26, 2019 Author Share Posted June 26, 2019 Like any sensible Boba Fett action figure swallowing human, I went to the emergency room at my local hospital to get the thing removed. But also like any rational human, when I saw that it was KoA donning surgical scrubs for the removal procedure, I ran out of there screaming with my johnny flapping in the breeze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Crows Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 honeyed chicken once fell asleep in a hot tub and woke up to find a family of four staring at him. They left immediately and he never found out who they were or why they wandered onto his Airbnb’s porch. He remains haunted by it to this day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 JC is a member of the Gang of Four, who are in the habit of entering random people's homes and surprising them in the middle of a bath. Not, I hasten to add, for any prurient purposes; they just like yelling random alphabetical equations in bathers' ears, like "R + L = J!", Q + M = A!", and the like. Then they run away laughing. I daresay it's a riot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 CB's idea of a pick-up line is "I can nail jello to the wall." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted July 11, 2019 Author Share Posted July 11, 2019 KOA doesn't know what a pick up line is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted July 28, 2019 Share Posted July 28, 2019 At the end of his trial, when Chicken heard he was to be exculpated, Chicken howled and wept like a madman, much to the puzzlement of everyone in the courtroom. All because Chicken went through life thinking "exculpated" means a painful kind of unneccesary circumcision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted July 28, 2019 Author Share Posted July 28, 2019 When I was in charge of stealing the Ohio vote for the GOP in 2016, there was one person I knew I needed for the effort: KoA. A cracker jack, creative election mastermind is KoA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 HC thinks GOP stands for Game of Phones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Crows Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Count Belerion actually invented the cereal Count Chocula without having ever heard of the famous Count Dracula. It just sounded good. Subsequently, in the early 2000's CB tried to create a new cereal based on Count Chocula but with Bell Peppers instead of marshmallows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted August 17, 2019 Author Share Posted August 17, 2019 When you look up "inscrutable" in the dictionary, you find a picture of Joey Crows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted August 18, 2019 Share Posted August 18, 2019 Honeyed Chicken's torrid affair with Ginger Soy continues into the desert, where the couple finds the cave of treasures. Using the password "open sesame", they unlock the beautiful pools of hoisin sauce in which they bathe for hours, while being secretly watched by a blue Will Smith steaming a bowl of Jasmine rice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Crows Posted August 18, 2019 Share Posted August 18, 2019 Jez Bell hates horses and loves to rant about how ridiculous they are anytime she has more than one drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 JC is half horse, half cactus -- the result of a bizarre scientific experiment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 The Count made a counter-offer to buy Greenland for $12.54 and Denmark and Greenland agreed. "Better to be owned by the undead than that blithering orangutan!" the Greenlanders said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted August 22, 2019 Author Share Posted August 22, 2019 Knight of Ashes contemplated naming his av, "Knight of Hashish", but nobody knows what that is anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Chicken is hoping in vain that I won't make a remark regarding Trump's claim that he (Trump) is the Chosen One. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Crows Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Knave of Embers got his name when he drank too much wine during communion and started a fire in the corner of the church. He made his profile the next morning when the fire had burned down, and because he was hungover he misspelled "nave." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 The minute JC heard who the Chosen One was, he went on a thousand mile long journey on foot to meet the long-awaited savior. Finally, at long last:, he came face to face with his messiah and knelt before him and with tears in his eyes and snot in his nose declared "I WORSHIP THEE, YOU CLOWN-FACED, ANAL FUCKSTICK!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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