Wizard's First Rule

[MinDonner]

Here's a question - do any of Tairy's titles actually refer to the contents of the books? We've established that both Wizard's First Rule and Stone Of Tears bear no relation to the horrors inside; what of the rest? Is there a real phantom in Phantom?

[Solitary]

Here's a question - do any of Tairy's titles actually refer to the contents of the books? We've established that both Wizard's First Rule and Stone Of Tears bear no relation to the horrors inside; what of the rest? Is there a real phantom in Phantom?

First, don't look at me in a weird way, when I say yes

Here the title actually makes sense. Kahlan is invisible and hardly anyone besides Richard remembers her. So, for the others, Richard's longing for Kahlan is a longing for a phantom. So Phantom=Kahlan.

[WLU]

Pun intended?

Sadly, no. And I'm ashamed to admit I'm not even sure where the pun is. I'm too logical for puns.

See, there's a classic Tairy answer - takes an implied criticism, rebuts it with self-praise, and has a bit of an insult to the asker. I use the same technique in job interviews.

Why yes, I am currently unemployed.

I was browsing the book covers to see if there was anything I could make fun of. Here's some:

1) Pillars of Creation is INCREDIBLY phallic. Needs more barbs though.

2) I'll grant that some of the landscapes are pretty, but look really cartoonish and just repetetive. How many landscapes with water/waterfalls do you need?

3) 2 covers with statues, and we know how much he loves statues.

4) Last 3 have vague outlines of Klan. I expected her tits to be bigger.

[Myshkin]

Here's a question - do any of Tairy's titles actually refer to the contents of the books? We've established that both Wizard's First Rule and Stone Of Tears bear no relation to the horrors inside; what of the rest?

I beleive 'Blood of the Fold' is about Kahlan's menstrual cycle.

[Ser Warpechowski]

My favorite part of the book so far:

"Hard to be Mother Confessor. Sorry"

"Hard," Kahlan agreed.

"Much on your shoulders"

"Much," Kahlan agreed again.

Another awesome part:

"Zedd spun around, arms flailing in excitment "Days! Richard, that cloud has been folowing you for three weeks! Ever since your father was killed! I havent seen you since George´s death. Where have you been? I´ve been looking around for you. I can find a lost bug in a barn easier than I can find you when you get in your head not to be found!"

First: I though George and Richards father were the same person.

Second: The guy has a fucking cloud folowing him for 3 weeks, how couldnt you find him? And if you didnt knew the cloud was folowing Richard, how the hell did you know it was folowing him for three weeks?

Richard is an experienced guide, and yet he was traveling in the woods for 3 weeks, but he only knew that he had forgot his knife after three weeks away from home. Then, he also didnt take his backpack, since he had to go home to get it. Also, he was not carying his "forest cloak", since he left it at home.

The guy who wrote this book is retarded. This stuff is not average, its awfull.

[Mad Monkey]

BTW, anyone else find it funny that the titular wizard's first rule isn't actually a rule, nor does it have anything to do with wizards, nor is it particularily insightful?

IMO it should be called "Random General Statement #1".

A real wizard's first rule should be something like: "Only use magic to help others" or whatever.

That's not a rule of wizardry. The first rule of wizardry is: "Only use magic to surgically remove the dramatic tension of any ostensibly exciting fantasy combat sequence".

[drza]

re: Goodkind copying off Jordan

It's been almost a decade since I read Goodkind so I'm going off memory, but I recall at the time seeing a BUNCH of obvious concepts that came directly out of the Wheel of Time. I can think of 3 obvious ones (outside of the 2 already mentioned) even without trying that hard.

I've seen the Sisters of the Dark and the Stone of Tear mentioned here, but in book 2 it was just so much more than that. The Sisters of the Light, with their Prelate, were structured almost exactly like the Aes Sedai and their Amyrilin (sp?) seat.

In both worlds there used to be men magic users, but they had messed up in some way so now things were run by the women magic users. And large chunks of the female magic users were terrified at the concept of a male magic user (Rand/Richard) being so much stronger than them.

Then, in book 3 of Goodkind (I know hardly anyone ever read that far, but trust me on this one) one of the main plots was about this group called the Blood of the Fold that hated all magic and magic users, and were structured EXACTLY like the Whitecloaks in Jordan's world.

There's just no way that the Goodkind independently sat down and thought of, verbatim, FIVE of the same concepts as Jordan and used them as primary parts of consecutive books. If he didn't read Jordan, then his editor must have and then convinced him to completely restructure everything...

[niamh]

I see the real damage started when he stopped reading Jordan then ................... this in itself is a scary thing to think about.

[Martin Silenus]

Oh my Gods, now I've got to thinking: should I pick up where I left off? Should I get in that hot tub? Will it make me sweat? The last thing I remember is Richard rescuing the goat (the goat!).

Could anything possibly top that? #8: Naked Empire is in the library the next town over. Here I come!

[Moosicus]

Well, shortly after rescuing the goat he goes on to explain why he's been justified every time he's killed anyone. The book is worth it for that gem alone.

[Myshkin]

Well, shortly after rescuing the goat he goes on to explain why he's been justified every time he's killed anyone. The book is worth it for that gem alone.

Isn't that the part where every one thanks Dick for making them better people, and then 'all the men started to laugh'?

[Moosicus]

That delightful bit occurs shortly before.

[Mad Monkey]

That delightful bit occurs shortly before.

Isn't it great how you can remember the exact order in which these things happen?

[Moosicus]

It's kinda sad actually, and its one of the reasons I drink so much.

[Crazydog7]

Well obviously if the whole world doesn't "get" goodkind its not the fault of goodkind its the fault of the whole world for not getting his deeper message.

(you're bullshit-meter should be going through the roof right now)

I should have counted my blessing that I was able to make it through the first book but oh no, I had to read book two. What the hell was wrong with me?

[Moosicus]

Obiously you lack moral celery. But that's okay, hang around here for a while and we can help.

[Myshkin]

We have moral celery in plenty.

[The Wolf Maid]

It's kinda sad actually, and its one of the reasons I drink so much.

Aww, Moose. In case you devolp liver disease, you can always sue TG.

We have moral celery in plenty.

And booze. Don't forget the booze.

[Myshkin]

And booze. Don't forget the booze.

Little known fact: Porfidio Tequila Blanco is the best source for your daily moral celery requirements.

[The Wolf Maid]

Shall we designate it as a drink of Truth, then?