El_Smacko Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I've got one. Joffrey wasn't poisoned, he's just an impatient and lazy little bastard who shovels too much into his mouth and doesn't chew. Thusly, he chokes on some pie and has the misfortune to do so in an era when no one has yet discovered the heimlich maneuver. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Child of the Forest Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Lollys is the PWP! -CotF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendetto Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 I just thought this up while pondering what the Doom was, Valyria had one gigantic dragon, that laid waste to the entire region, and now it slumbers there, and all the smoke is from it's breath/farts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kadvael Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 1 - Hodor is a Frey 2 - Asha is Rhaenys 3 - Jon Arryn and Robert Baratheon are alive, Jon Arryn pretended to be dead to prepare his arrival in one of the free cities where Robert later joined him. 4 - Littlefinger is a Bolton and that is why he hates the Starks, he made Aerys kill Brandon, he used Janos Slynt to make Joff kill Ned, he is somehow involved in the Red Wedding, he made Joff send an assassin to kill Bran and he later paid Theon so that he would kill Bran and Rickon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balerion the Cat Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 The kitchen tomcat caught by Arya in the Red Keep is Balerion, Rhaenys' kitten. And, btw, "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" is a citation of GRRM "Beauty and the Beast" teleplay. Ok, not very crackpot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_BlauerDragon Posted November 22, 2008 Author Share Posted November 22, 2008 The kitchen tomcat caught by Arya in the Red Keep is Balerion, Rhaenys' kitten. And, btw, "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" is a citation of GRRM "Beauty and the Beast" teleplay. Ok, not very crackpot Not very crackpot at all... How about the Kettleblacks... Anyone have any good pottery regarding who they are working for, and what they are up to? I have a crackpot theorie that they are actually FM, working for the Iron Bank (or whatever the big bank in Braavos was called), for the purpose of destablizing Westeros and bringing about the downfall of the Iron Throne... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andhaira Posted November 22, 2008 Share Posted November 22, 2008 i once,many years ago had the theory that Old nan = bloodraven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_BlauerDragon Posted November 24, 2008 Author Share Posted November 24, 2008 I wish that one of the super-industrious, wonderful, nifty, Super-Awesome-Fantastic people on this forum would actually go through this thread and put together a list of all of the crackpot theories so that we can vote on which of them is the most crackpot of all. Personally, My vote goes for The Theory Which Shall Not be Named wtih "Syrio was a FM, who instead of fighting Trant and dying, did a backflip out of the window and ran to the dungeons (where he assumed one of the Prisoner's identities) at the last possible minute". So I guess my votes to start the list off would be as follows: Jon is a Targ - +3 Syrio was a FM - +2 Ned is ALIVE!!! - +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyPirate Posted November 24, 2008 Share Posted November 24, 2008 i once,many years ago had the theory that Old nan = bloodraven. That is pretty tame compared to some of the stuff you come up with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balerion the Cat Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 The problem is that english is not my native language and I don't understand which is the EXACT undertone of the word "crackpot". I understand the general meaning, but should we refer primarily to a theory that is "not yet revealed, but a great, mad thought" as R+L=J, or to a theory that is "so unlikely it becomes ridicolous", or even to a theory "man, you passed too much time waiting for the books"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Garlic Knight Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 i think "so unlikely it becomes ridicolous" is the correct undertone for crackpot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyro Lannister Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 My crackpot theory goes like this: Berric Dondarrion has not been coming back to life, neither has Catelyn Stark as Lady Stoneheart, they are faceless men employed by the Clergy or whatever you want to call them, their purpose is to rally the common people to their side and lead them to hate the highborn nobles. Berric Dondarrion served his purpose, the people of the Riverlands are well aware of them and love them, or so I've been lead to believe, now they want the North so they have taken the guise of Catelyn to help facilitate this. Another crackpot theory: The Targs don't control the dragons, the dragons control the Targs, they are intelligent, sentient beings. I can't see how, with a dragon living for hundreds of years when a human only lives 50-100, that the dragons would remain loyal pets as old masters die. No, the Targs are the pets and Dany's dragons will become more unruly and unmanagable as they grow larger, no doubt at least one of them will be good natured and will stay to help Dany, but only because it chooses to. As Dany teaches the dragons more words beyond Dracarys, I think she and us is going to be shocked one day when they turn around and laugh in her face and start speaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Garlic Knight Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 i like this thread. there are lots of good theories and lots of funny ones also. i really liked some of the nightflyer theories. i wish there was a total/vote. maybe i will try to do that soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balerion the Cat Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 My crackpot theory goes like this: Berric Dondarrion has not been coming back to life, neither has Catelyn Stark as Lady Stoneheart, they are faceless men employed by the Clergy or whatever you want to call them, their purpose is to rally the common people to their side and lead them to hate the highborn nobles. Berric Dondarrion served his purpose, the people of the Riverlands are well aware of them and love them, or so I've been lead to believe, now they want the North so they have taken the guise of Catelyn to help facilitate this. Nice crackpot theory, but I don't think using a Red Priest (Thoros) and converting the people of the Riverlands to R'llhor cult (night fires) will be somehow useful for the Faith (assuming you intended the priests of the Seven as "Clergy"). I think that, even if they get rid of the Lords, the Faith and Brotherhood w/o Banner would fight each other (inquisition?). Bw/oB can be considered surely eretical, and they aren't so collaborative with the sparrow as one could think (cfr. Brienne POV at Gendry and Willow's inn - from their words seems that Sparrows bring orphans but do not team up with Beric/UnCat rebels). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Garlic Knight Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 Nice crackpot theory, but I don't think using a Red Priest (Thoros) and converting the people of the Riverlands to R'llhor cult (night fires) will be somehow useful for the Faith (assuming you intended the priests of the Seven as "Clergy"). I think that, even if they get rid of the Lords, the Faith and Brotherhood w/o Banner would fight each other (inquisition?). Bw/oB can be considered surely eretical, and they aren't so collaborative with the sparrow as one could think (cfr. Brienne POV at Gendry and Willow's inn - from their words seems that Sparrows bring orphans but do not team up with Beric/UnCat rebels). i think he meant to say that the clergy are the faith of r'hllor and that they are using the other people to pull the small folks away from the seven and the old gods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MTGAP Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 There are roughly 1500 crackpot theories. (1500 = number of posts that Nightflyer has) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nichole Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 I'm sorry, haven't read through the entire thread. But has it been brought up about where the hell Nightflyer is? He was the king of jackpot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Garlic Knight Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 i am never being around when the night flyer is here but in this thread i can see some of his postings and they are too much fun for me to read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammer Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 hot pie is aegon is a truely fantastic theory its so bizare god I hope its true please GRRM make this happen in a believable way if this is possible. Also what about the crannogmen are the descendants of the children of the forest I think there are some hints to this somewhere eg theyb are short and a bit mysterious and have green dreams I realy think this is possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammer Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 My crackpot theory goes like this: Berric Dondarrion has not been coming back to life, neither has Catelyn Stark as Lady Stoneheart, they are faceless men employed by the Clergy or whatever you want to call them, their purpose is to rally the common people to their side and lead them to hate the highborn nobles. Berric Dondarrion served his purpose, the people of the Riverlands are well aware of them and love them, or so I've been lead to believe, now they want the North so they have taken the guise of Catelyn to help facilitate this. Another crackpot theory: The Targs don't control the dragons, the dragons control the Targs, they are intelligent, sentient beings. I can't see how, with a dragon living for hundreds of years when a human only lives 50-100, that the dragons would remain loyal pets as old masters die. No, the Targs are the pets and Dany's dragons will become more unruly and unmanagable as they grow larger, no doubt at least one of them will be good natured and will stay to help Dany, but only because it chooses to. As Dany teaches the dragons more words beyond Dracarys, I think she and us is going to be shocked one day when they turn around and laugh in her face and start speaking. I like this theory probably not true but its interesting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.