WLU Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Yeah I didn't notice I accidentally typed alt-0235 instead of alt-0233. I am well aware that I was supposed to use é. And MY title is Starver of Orphans so remove it from your list immediately please. Your wish is my command, master. I can't hand out titles for the rest of the day RT, sorry. word just slapped me in the face with a metaphorical barbed cock. And I liked it. No titles for me... I think Myshkin should get to hand out the title, Queen King of the Parodies that she he is. @Muttering Bill - charitable? Are you looking for a fight? Didn't you see what I did to Red Templar? Do you want me to beat you with your own spine, optional that it is? YOU TAKE THAT BACK! I'm word's bitch today, not yours. Incidentally, we are working towards GK XXVI (holy. shit.) and thread titles are upcoming. Also upcoming is a monster post in which one of the sections will list all previously unused (hopefully) title suggestions. Keep this in mind when suggesting new ones. I'm just rounding GK XXII and am starting on GK XXIII. And I gotta say, we're a funny bunch of lemmings we are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Myshkin is a female? I always assumed Myshkin was a man cuz of the avatar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muttering Bill Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 That, IIRC, was from the everso tastefully written Kahlan-gets-almost-raped-by-Jagang scene. Not very work-safe, or indeed *anything* safe - you might want to have a bucket handy. Fill it with vodka, drink said vodka, read passage, puke. As I am at work, and have no vodka handy, this will have to wait until later. If I can find time to stop in from home. This must be from one of the later books that I never made it to. Myshkin is a female? I always assumed Myshkin was a man cuz of the avatar. Or are you just screwing with us? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Myshkin is a female? I always assumed Myshkin was a man cuz of the avatar. Naw, it's my fault, I'm a fucking idiot. The really stupid thing is, we've already gone over Myshkin's gender (mid-June I think) and as a result of my accumulation of posts for the Blog of Truth, I actually READ it yesterday. My defence was the use of David Bowie wasn't exactly helpful for the identification of gender, but since I've used up that excuse already, I've got nothin'. I am REALLY sorry Myshkin, I can't believe I'm mytarded enough to fuck this up twice. From now on, I'll refer to your profile before attempting to identify gender. I fucking SUCK today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 You just haven't eaten enough celery. Choose life. Don't blame yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Naw, it's my fault, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm mytarded enough to fuck this up twice. I fucking SUCK today. I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Ladies and Gentlemen, I am in the midst of assembling the überest of über-posts. I'm going to pull my partially completed überpost out of the last thread, and compile two posts of differing themes. My original purpose was two-fold: 1) To make it easier for MinDonner to add newer parodies and mockeries to her fantastic blog 2) To preserve for poserity those posts which critically analyze the works of the Yeard and point out their flaws. Ideally I'd love #2 to be placed on MD's blog, but it turns out there's a lot of them. Perhaps someone else with a blog would be willing to host the critical thought, with MD hosting just the parodies? Anyway, there's a lot of them, heavily skewed towards my posts because a) I'm not much of a parody guy, and I'm a whore for attention and my own writing. Hopefully in the next couple hours, I'll have the finished posts up for perusal. Anyone know if there's a way to view the source of my old post? I can't access the edit feature 'cause some godless commie locked the thread. For your amusement, here are all the titles standing empty in the Church of Discord: Alpha Yeard Arch Yeard Archbishoprick (or Archprick?) of Canrapeberries Sharpest Barb on the Namble-Cock Mystarbaiter (should be reserved for pat5150) Prophet of Things Rising Holder of the Enormous Bosums Inspired Lemming of Discord Drinker of the Milk of Truth L337 Jaw-Kicker Breastfeeding Prophet Holder of the Empty Glass of Wisdom Baby-Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells Lemmingishly Discordant/Discordantly Lemming-ish (claimed by Maltaran, never updated) Head Chicken Clucker Twister of Breasticles Almost-Bitch of Discord and Testicular Culinary Arts Sucker of the Cock of Truth Echidna of disagreement Lover of Moral Carity and Filther of Animals Bane of Logical Continuity Wearer of the Goatswool Socks Your Handy Widow Helper (shortens to YHWH) Keeper of the Common Sense. (lowest rank in the church of discord) Edited for truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 I'm double-posting. Deal with it. Here's the promised thread titles and sub-titles as yet unused. Thread titles 1. (If Confessor is late) Goodkind (whatever): Putting the 'tard' in 'tardy' 2. Confessor, 2007-11-13: Let your fear start now. 3. Deserving Victory 4. Flatulence of the Fallen 5. For those about to rip out spines, we salute you 6. Killing people with mind bullets since 1994 7. Preferably Not Involving Sex-Aids in the Title VOTES: II 8. TERRY GOODKIND SUCKS (HARD!) 9. Better than Leprosy, Smallpox, Polio, and the Ebola Virus (COMBINED!!! 10. Productive through Counterproductivity! 11. Putting the W in 'Lemming of Discord'. 12. Atlas stepped on Ayn Rand's face: When asked why, he shrugged. 13. Talk to the Orifice. 14. Yeard Rhymes with Turd (sub: Coincedence or Fact?) 15. A Long List of Lemming Lecheries 16. A Spine Less Ripped Out 17. The Reason Tairy Doesn't Go To Fantasy Conventions:Because he doesn't write fantasy. And the pasty virgin boys are too tempting 18. At least Harry Potter is safe VOTES: I 19. At least he hasn't ripped off Harry Potter: Yet. 20. Tits of Ice and Fire: And you though he only ripped off Jordan 21. I Wonder What's Bothering The Chickens? And other important questions! 22. It's What's Been Bothering the Chickens Bwak, bwak, BWAAAAAAAAK! 23. SoT Hentai (NSFW): Putting barbed nambles in tentacle sex 24. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Yeardii Maine wgah'nagl fhtagn: ...the Thing cannot be described, but it is called the green, sticky spawn of the stars, with flabby man-boobs and an awful squid-yeard with writhing yeardlets; a mountain that wrote with stumbling phrases and horrific grammar... 25. Gave into our filthy perversions in III 26. Started drinking at Goodkind V, cirrhosis by XIV, transplant by XXV 27. Wizard's First Rule of Tears of the Fold of the Winds of the Fire of The Fallen of Creation:A Naked Empire of Chainfired Phantom Confessors 28. The Goodkind threads go to 11 29. Putting the Lie to our Purpose Subtitles 1. Drinking heavily since WFR 2. 20+ threads of shock porn 3. Dedicated to the CIA death squads who make the drug trade profitable. 4. Hot butt sex beastiality lesbian rubber coprophile VOTES: II 5. Twenty-two times more gay sex! Twenty-three times more straight sex! 6. Naked sweaty grandpa boinking 7. Klan the red-winged avenger! 8. Gird your loins in white paint 9. No touching in the swim-suit areas 10. Shit fuck cock piss douchebag butt sex. Butt sex 11. Frankly, we've given up on titles 12. Leave your vanilla at your gramma's house... 13. This one's for the mouthbreathers 14. Now 93% safe for work 15. IF GOODKIND WERE VACUUM HE WOULD HARDLY SUCK 16. SPINAL CORDS ARE FOR 8-YEAR OLD GIRLS 17. Spinal cords? We don't need no stinking spinal cords! 18. Don't light it on fire, you just make it angrier. 19. Once You Go Namble, You Never Go Back 20. Impervious to logic 21. He burns like the clap! 22. Keeping the land free fwom the tywannical wule of grammar. 23. Let the mindfuck begin 24. Subtle as Brazilian waxing 25. Wiping our collectivist asses with noble human themes. 26. Putting the 'stupid' in 'stupefaction'. 27. We still spell better than Mystar! 28. At this point you may have realized that we are not fans. 29. Confessor and the Truthful Saintlies VOTES: I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 In an insane grab for top poster of this thread, I'm now triple-posting, and plan on quadruple-posting soon after. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Here's the various mockeries and parodies posted for the past 10 threads or so, which may or may not have made it to MinDonner's blogs. At least some of these ones are in keeping with previous parodies already on the site (in blue), others are just funny. James Earl Jones reacting to reading the series for books on tape Agulla parodies the Yeard on Advanced Reader Copies I tear apart said unfortunately imaginary (but very believable) letter Vigo the Carpathian on how Goodkind would eat a Reese’s Pieces Word’s Matrix parody Parody And a continuation Parody And some more Parody Reaction of TOR’s proofreaders to Tairy’s prose (it’s there, trust me) Tormund Midgetsbane parody of the start of WFR Tairy Madlibs Mad Moose at Tairycon Vigo the Carpathian’s adaptation of Team America, World Police’s song Will on the origins of the title “Sword of Truth†Will’s quote of the day on the evilness of camp followers. Tairy as Pope Moose’s parody of a goodkind interview Piper’s Truthomancer parody Parody Tairy’s Magic: The Gathering card Second M:TG card Tairydrinks Tairybanner by Wolf Maid Vigo the Carpathian on the milk of truth Wolf Maid Pornolizing word on how to write a SoT novel Simpsonized Tairy Myshkin’s Scott Lynch parody Parody Part deuxParody Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 The promised quadruple-post. All things used to point out the most egregious flaws in the Yeard's significantly flawed thinking processes: Mad Monkey attempting to justify the magic in the series Me pointing out the flaws in Goodkind’s thinking about fan questions I shoot down his Shania Twain comparison Boob size and moral clarity Word pointing out the errors of timelines potsherds feminist analysis of the series Analysis of the timeline of Richard’s birth Me criticizing the Yeard Mad Monkey criticizing the Yeard Me criticizing his criticism MinDonner’s analysis of trying to write like the yeard. Mathematical proof of Tairy’s insanity Me responding to an interview Jerec on Sword of Truth titles Will comparing Goodkind to a pusher. It’s awesome. Me taking apart Goodkind’s ‘gang rape in action’ Will assaulting the Yeard’s sexual maturity. Mad Monkey’s dissection of Tairyland magic Mad Moose’s follow-up More analysis of magic in Tairlyand Will’s analysis of how democracy would work in Tairyland My criticism of the wizard’s second rule Me bashing Yeardii and his books Me critiquing an interview Part II Whelp taking a couple kicks Unyearded Pita too Vigo on the Confessor powers Wolf Maid on SoT and Hentai It's also a bit of a 'highlights' reel for the past 10 threads. Still to come - I rant about how much the Stone of Tears sucked and didn't make sense. Hold your breath! Shut down your browsers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maltaran Posted August 10, 2007 Author Share Posted August 10, 2007 Lemmingishly Discordant/Discordantly Lemming-ish (claimed by Maltaran, never updated) Look to your left. I also claim "Bane of Logical Continuity", and shall update my sig accordingly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Look to your left. I also claim "Bane of Logical Continuity", and shall update my sig accordingly In my defense, I am obsessive, not perfect Updated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Damn thats a good compilation. Must have taken you a while to do that. I wish you would've mentioned you wanted to do something like that earlier, cuz when I first started out here I went back and read every thread. (Yes I know, I am quite celerious, also I have a lot of free time at work that I create for myself) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Damn thats a good compilation. Must have taken you a while to do that. I wish you would've mentioned you wanted to do something like that earlier, cuz when I first started out here I went back and read every thread. (Yes I know, I am quite celerious, also I have a lot of free time at work that I create for myself) You have no idea. I'd estimate probably a good three days worth of reading, on and off. If anyone wants to do so for the first, what, 16 threads, they're welcome to it. Though we might want to check if MinDonner thinks it's even useful. 'Course, it's also useful to everyone who thinks it's funny and/or true. Note - Another title/subtitle for GK (whatever): You say deus ex machina like it's a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Personally I think my favorite line was You death choosers are both wrong. Clearly this was the best line. It must be quoted for Truthiness. Sorry guys, but the best line was this one: Dick flopped his deuce I'm not sure why, but I can't read that line without laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Sorry guys, but the best line was this one: Dick flopped his deuce I'm not sure why, but I can't read that line without laughing. It seems you suffer from the same malady I do: laughing hysterically at my own jokes. Welcome to the club! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 It seems you suffer from the same malady I do: laughing hysterically at my own jokes. Welcome to the club! You know, I didn't even think about it when I wrote that line, but when I went back and read it I started cracking up. It was almost as if somebody else had written it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 SIDE BAR: The Wizard World Comic Con started today next door to the hotel. I saw no less than TWO Yeards. One was a KING yeard to be sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 SIDE BAR: The Wizard World Comic Con started today next door to the hotel. I saw no less than TWO Yeards. One was a KING yeard to be sure. Two yeards in one place? How did the world survive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerec Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I had a thought for producers approaching Terry Goodkind to host one of those Travel shows, but he responds that he doesn't do world building, and as for countries outside the US, he doesn't do weirdo cultural diversity where people speak in jibber-jabber. But again, I'm lazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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