My new big theory about Dorne & Aegon (& stuff)

[7V3N]

Theon was kinda sorta the rightful King of the Iron Islands, and Ramsay took his dick. This means Ramsay now has king's dick power!!!

Any confirmation by GRRM about that? I know it's implied and probably true, but just wondering if we have a definitive "yes" yet.

No it predates you at least as far as this: http://asoiaf.wester...20#entry3275531

All those who deny^ that are my enemy. While it's true that I have the rightful claim on the theory, in recognition of your contribution, I would name you a Member of the Order of the Kingsdicks.

I see. Props for the genius idea, and thanks for the inclusion. How about the Council Of Cocks'o Kings (COCK)?

[A Bong of Ice and Fire]

Any confirmation by GRRM about that? I know it's implied and probably true, but just wondering if we have a definitive "yes" yet.

No, but I think it's likely that Theon is dickless, not (just) castrated. Theon hints at missing some parts there, and we KNOW that Ramsay likes to flay his victims. So I figure Ramsay flayed Theon's dick, then cut it off when Theon begged to end the pain. Seems like Ramsay's style.

[Mummer's Fart]

No, but I think it's likely that Theon is dickless, not (just) castrated. Theon hints at missing some parts there, and we KNOW that Ramsay likes to flay his victims. So I figure Ramsay flayed Theon's dick, then cut it off when Theon begged to end the pain. Seems like Ramsay's style.

That sounds sufficiently fucked up, so yeah it does seem like Ramsay.

[The Bastard of Summer]

So if all this is you all are saying is indeed true of The King's Dick Power, then we must assume that the real threat that looms before Westeros comes not from the Others beyond the wall and the night that never ends but, from the mighty jizz bomb that the rightful king of will let off once his Grace has been selected?

*Omg, hence the reason people seek to cut off these mighty powerful dicks and burn them, because they cause such destruction! Cersei should be glad she doesn't have one.*

[7V3N]

Definitely Ramsay's style. Not to mention, Theon's immediate thought on Jeyne isn't that he wants to fuck her (as he used to be pre-Reek).

[7V3N]

Also, the shadow baby came from Stannis' dick, then grew in Mel. Add this to the list of proof of the power of a King's Cock.

[Mummer's Fart]

I see. Props for the genius idea, and thanks for the inclusion. How about the Council Of Cocks'o Kings (COCK)?

The King's Small (Dick) Council. You don't want an appointment to that post...

[Ser Ragnar]

No it predates you at least as far as this: http://asoiaf.wester...20#entry3275531

All those who deny^ that are my enemy. While it's true that I have the rightful claim on the theory, in recognition of your contribution, I would name you a Member of the Order of the Kingsdicks.

By right and birth and blood I swear alligeance to your theory.

[Ser Ragnar]

Its a bit far fetched, but with GRRM you never know.

It could also explain why Darkstar went postal during the battle and tried to kill Myrcella - what a sweet revenge it would be to kill a Lannister considering what they did to Aegons family.

[Stannis Eats No Peaches]

I liked Doran...

[Mummer's Fart]

Its a bit far fetched, but with GRRM you never know.

It could also explain why Darkstar went postal during the battle and tried to kill Myrcella - what a sweet revenge it would be to kill a Lannister considering what they did to Aegons family.

Darkstar was a real dick about it.

[Jefimija]

Maybe Darkstar is Ashara + Aerys

+ Brandon

least likely + Rhaegar

One of these pairings might be true

[7V3N]

Maybe Darkstar is Ashara + Aerys

+ Brandon

least likely + Rhaegar

One of these pairings might be true

I have heard of BAD (Brandon + Ashara = Darkstar). It'd make sense and be consistent with what we know of all of them. He has Ashara's beauty and Brandon's wolfsblood. Having said that, I like this much more. Seems more like GRRM.

[Jefimija]

I have heard of BAD (Brandon + Ashara = Darkstar). It'd make sense and be consistent with what we know of all of them. He has Ashara's beauty and Brandon's wolfsblood. Having said that, I like this much more. Seems more like GRRM.

Yes, it is plausible theory. I just don`t see the point of it. Ok, he is a Ashara's and Brandon's son, so what? What makes him so dangerous then. There must be something more about him...

[Longspear Ryk]

The dornish plot is still premature.. Feast an dance just pretty much introduced us to the dornish characters and their personalitys and their motives.. All this will have a poiint in the next book...

All the sandsnakes are playing roles.. Septa, maester, council member...

Arriane is gona try to marry aegon..

The mrycella, trystsne, darkstar, balon swann plot

Drink and the big man are gona wind up being of use to dany and barriston...

Queynton was just a red herring and an introduction into drink, the big man, and more importantly the Tattered Prince

[The Red Maester]

Or.....

Doran Martell is exactly what he appears to be, a crippled old man whose mind has too long been clouded by gout pains, dreamwine, and poppy milk.

Dorne has never had a master plan. The existence of the Martells is an accident of geography, not a result of their political mastery. Arianne and Quentyn's failures further show this. Even the exalted Red Viper won only a pyrrhic victory.

In conclusion, Martells are backwoods hicks that could not pull this off.

[A Bong of Ice and Fire]

Or.....

Doran Martell is exactly what he appears to be, a crippled old man whose mind has too long been clouded by gout pains, dreamwine, and poppy milk.

Dorne has never had a master plan. The existence of the Martells is an accident of geography, not a result of their political mastery. Arianne and Quentyn's failures further show this. Even the exalted Red Viper won only a pyrrhic victory.

In conclusion, Martells are backwoods hicks that could not pull this off.

I don't think GRRM spent so much time on the Martells just for them to be chumps, which they currently appear to be. I can't accept that GRRM would waste so much time & space on useless losers.

So there has to be much more to Doran & his plan than we have yet seen. And given what Doran says about the mysterious Darkstar, it is reasonable to conclude that Darkstar is a big part of Doran's real plan, which so far has not been revealed.

That's what I believe.

[The Red Maester]

I don't think GRRM spent so much time on the Martells just for them to be chumps, which they currently appear to be. I can't accept that GRRM would waste so much time & space on useless losers.

Much of your argument for Darkstar=Aegon seems to be that Darkstar HAS to be somebody and the Martells HAVE to be major players. I would suggest that for many authors this may true, but I don't think it is true with our author.

In one interview GRRM said (I'm paraphrasing) he enjoyed the journey of the books and it wasn't about the destination, it was about creating a world.

The Martells are part of this world. They are flavor. There must always be chumps.

We have spent 5 books with the Starks who are the biggest chumps of all. Winterfell is a smoldering ruin, 2 Starks are dead, one has recently been stabbed, one is a zombie, one is a pawn for Littlefinger's machinations, one is vacationing on a cannibal island with a wildling woman, and one is a cripple who is turning into a tree. At least one of them is learning to be a ninja assassin, but overall this family is losers. While many believe that at some point Jon, Bran, Arya, and/or Sansa will have a major impact on the future of Westeros, there is certainly no guarantee of that.

In the entire series, about the only characters that DON'T seem to fail miserably at the game of thrones are Varys, Littlefinger, Euron Greyjoy, and the Tyrells (from stewards to most powerful family in the seven kingdoms in a span of 350 years). Yet, we spend most of our time with other characters.

It seems you are trying very hard to forge meaning into a section of the books you didn't like. It's certainly better than hitting the boards with ZOMG AFFC BLOWS!!!111!1!1!!

I am not particulary enthralled by Brienne's storyline. The only thing she succeeds at is getting Jaime to King's Landing and getting herself hanged. It appears that GRRM has "waste(d) so much time & space on useless losers.". Using your argument perhaps there is much more to Brienne than we have seen. Perhaps she was actually the bastard child of Aerys who had cuckolded Lord Selwyn. She was then given the valyrian steel blade Oathkeeper which had been tempered with Ned Starks blood, making Ned Stark Nissa Nissa and.... /gasp.... Brienne is Azor Ahai, and Oathkeeper is Lightbringer.

You have provided a well though out theory and have made a good argument for it. I just don't think it holds up to much scrutiny.

[7V3N]

I am not particulary enthralled by Brienne's storyline. The only thing she succeeds at is getting Jaime to King's Landing and getting herself hanged. It appears that GRRM has "waste(d) so much time & space on useless losers.". Using your argument perhaps there is much more to Brienne than we have seen. Perhaps she was actually the bastard child of Aerys who had cuckolded Lord Selwyn. She was then given the valyrian steel blade Oathkeeper which had been tempered with Ned Starks blood, making Ned Stark Nissa Nissa and.... /gasp.... Brienne is Azor Ahai, and Oathkeeper is Lightbringer.

Umm... Brienne said "sword." She was never hung.

[Ball Drogo]

Hey OP. Can you connect this theory of yours to Ashara Dayne? It seems like she should be included somehow. Maybe it is her son who is currently Young Griff, which is why she killed herself. Aegon is supposed to have been born a year or so before her death, which was not long after the death of her child.

Also, if this could be tied in with the various Sand Snakes and their current objectives I'd be more inclined to agree. They're scattered in Kings Landing taking the council seat, befriending the High Septon, and one is likely at the Citadel. If you are right about Doran being a sick genius (slowly coming around to the idea but not entirely sold), then the Sand Snakes seem likely to be a part of his endgame.