What's the stupidest theory you've heard about ASOIAF? (And is it really that stupid?)

[Table8]

Jojen paste. Theory for the stupid

[Aerys Blackfyre]

secret Targs everywhere

Tyrion not being Tywin's

and many more that I don't recall at the moment

[Dany Girl]

I'm a bit disappointed after finding out what the "Jojen paste" theory really entailed. I thought it was something else lol, not nearly as macabre, but just as gross :lol:

Check out Jojen paste vs 2... it's a locked thread. Twice as gross. I'll give you a hint, the paste comes from Jojen, but it's not his blood ;)

http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/98139-jojen-paste-20/?fromsearch=1

[Shadrich]

Yeah; Jojen Paste.

It's like an indicator of people who are to believe every crackpot theory.

[The Broke Howard Hughes]

I know they're just jokes (hopefully), but anything that mentions Satin. It annoys me to no end to hear his name mentioned in any serious discussion.

[Dany Girl]

I know they're just jokes (hopefully), but anything that mentions Satin. It annoys me to no end to hear his name mentioned in any serious discussion.

Satin is no joke, it is the most real and honest love story within ASOIAF.

[bloodofwinterfell]

The theory that Sansa is not a main character and only exists as an observer for the reader is absolutely ridiculous. There is no logic behind it, it's just the reader being biased against a character. :rolleyes:

[shk12344]

I know they're just jokes (hopefully), but anything that mentions Satin. It annoys me to no end to hear his name mentioned in any serious discussion.

Don't feed the trolls. They post it just to get reactions. Best to ignore those pointless comments.

[Victarion Chainbreaker]

Don't feed the trolls. They post it just to get reactions. Best to ignore those pointless comments.

That's not necessarily true. I often troll just to boost my post count. :cool4:

[Harle The Handsome]

Anything involving the Skagosi Unicorn Cavalry

I picture your Skagosi Unicorn Army to look like this:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/87258185@N00/sets/72157603724213121/

[Marillon]

Check out Jojen paste vs 2... it's a locked thread. Twice as gross. I'll give you a hint, the paste comes from Jojen, but it's not his blood ;)

http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/98139-jojen-paste-20/?fromsearch=1

:lol: Thank you. This was actually my initial thought upon hearing the Jojen paste theory tbh. I don't know which is more messed up, the fact that this was my first thought or the actual theory itself.

[Lady of Dragonstone]

Roose Bolton is a vampire.

Sansa Stark is evil.

[Robar]

Cat + Hodor = Rickon

[Blugenes]

Anything relating to Merling Theory.

[Tyrus Martell]

Euron is the Dusky Woman.

And Elia Martell cheated on Rhaegar: http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/101408-did-elia-cheat-on-rhaegar/page-6

I just facepalm at both.

[Wise Fool]

Ser Robert Strong is really Lady Stoneheart.

Though I just made that theory up right now, it sounds fairly stupid.

[Blugenes]

*Merling theory = Varys is not human but an evil sea creature who is not attracted to human females, rarely eats, does not like sunlight, and under a glamour that makes him appear like us. He is bent or on a misson of having the Wall destroyed and the Land of Always Winter subject to fires that would melt most of it. This combined with humans warring amongst themselves means more real estate for the Merlings. Littlefinger is part Merling himself and works to counter Varys, but realizes if he said anything it would mean his rejection from court as a madman. The wights are in fact under control of the merlings while the White Walkers are aware of this and trying to contact the humans somehow, but being repulsed at every turn and having to defend themselves.

[princessswan]

The only classmate I had who read the books was convinced Joffrey was gay because he liked to have women beaten.

[The Fresh PtwP]

Jojenpaste- I find it weird that like 80% of the forums do not trust BR or the CoTF (evidenced by the daily "what is their endgame" threads.) yet Jojenpaste is sooo unbelievable. I trust BR but if I didn't this would seem pretty feasible.

R+C=T- pretty obscure for good reason but its Robert and Cersei = Tommen. I love this theory but it is blatant wishful thinking especially considering we learned early that the "seed is strong".

Vic=AAR- this is one of those catastrophic events that might actually make me put down the series. Just no.

Mance=Rhaegar- for what reason? Does the prophecy call for him uhh...chilling with wildlings for 15 years? What would possibly make Rhaegar want to hangout in the SuperNorth for so long? How would no one notice Rhaegar "Conspicuous as Hell" Targ heading North anyways?

[Stan the Man Baratheon]

Don't know if someone mentioned it but anything from the black hawk is a contender for stupidest theories.