G--DK-ND(BBHN)XI

[Watcher]

Richard was in a near trance, or nearly unconscious; Kahlan wasn’t exactly sure which. He was having difficulty breathing. She didn’t know what else to do to help him. If they didn’t do something, he was going to die, and soon

Dieing soon would be a good indication of being nearly unconscious.

I was all prepared to mock this passage. But then I realized that I’d being guilty of falling for the Wizard’s First Rule. You see I want to believe that Terry (BBHN) is a horrible writer that doesn’t have an explanation for Richard’s ability. But a careful reading shows Richard is able to know exactly how to construct a potion he never seen or heard of before because he has “magic.†Yep that’s the explanation for everything Richard does. Magic. Isn’t wonderful? How can Richard cut through bone, defeat 30 highly trained men and still bring home roses for Khalan. It’s magic. If you need anymore explanation then that you lack the moral clarity and depth of knowledge to understand Terry’s (BBHN) work.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

I, for one, find this passage to be completely believable. What with some of the "preparations" being put together and some of the "preparations" being kept separate, and the soaking in oil, and getting rid of the fibers and the crushing...it's very true to life! Think of it as like an Iron Chef, where you have to cook up the antidote with the aid of your su-chefs, and if you don't get it right, you fuckin' die, man!

Just to let you guys know...one time, I drank two "doses" of gasoline, and from the taste, I knew what it was made from, the refining process, how to make it unleaded, how to add octane and ethanol.

Admittedly, I also saw the demon Lord Moloch (who coincidentally, had a yeard), who tried to make me battle Carl Sagan in a ring of fire. I refused. Then, I woke up and had to go have my stomach pumped. And I still can't see out of my right eye.

So, regardless of anything else, Richard totally could figure out the herbs, their preparation, and the cooking process from just tasting something. If I can do it by drinking gas, Lord Rahl could do it with an antidote. WIZARD, REMEMBER!

[Jaxom 1974]

I, for one, find this passage to be completely believable. What with some of the "preparations" being put together and some of the "preparations" being kept separate, and the soaking in oil, and getting rid of the fibers and the crushing...it's very true to life! Think of it as like an Iron Chef, where you have to cook up the antidote with the aid of your su-chefs, and if you don't get it right, you fuckin' die, man!

Not even Masuharu Morimoto uses THAT many ingredients in some of the weird shit he cooks up though!

Shouldn't the poison be complicated to make and the antidote a simple solution? Really. What if you create this poison for someone evil and the evil person gets dosed with it accidentily? That evil person is going to want the antidote real quick like, right?

And an antidote that has to be taken in three parts? What the hell, man? What the hell? But let's look past that little bit. Again, you've created a poison for an evil individual who gets dosed accidentily. They want the antidote RIGHT NOW, but you have to go through and tell them to drink it in three parts, but don't worry, you just happened to have ONLY THREE DOSES of the stuff available anyway...

[Draco the Lizard]

So Jennsen and the goat are still there? I was hoping they would be able to escape this series after book seven, but alas.

[Scott Lynch]

"Richard knew about herbs, but he didn’t know anywhere near enough about herbs to concoct the cure for the poison he had been given. His gift seemed to be guiding him."

Whatever happened to that whole "this series is not about magic, oh no; it's about important human issues and decisions" spiel? Convenient Magical Magicness pops up whenever required to get this dude out of a jam.

[Moosicus]

Not just to get him out of a jam, it's always there doing just about everything for him. He never had to train with his sword, he just allows the magic to take over and suddenly he's the best swordsman who ever lived and can slaughter 30 people who have been training with their weapons every day for their entire lives. I assume this is the same reason he is so knowledgable about algebra, since their is never a mention of him going to school, and perhaps is responsible for his speeches as well, since he's never been to toastmasters. I can just imagine what Kahlan must have been thinking on their wedding night; "Gee, Richard's never had a woman before me, he shouldn't be this good in bed. It must be his gift guiding him. Oh fuck me Richard, fuck me with your gift!!!"

ETA: "I'm a whore wizard, remember?"

[Elrostar]

Scott, you do remind us of an excellent point. The books aren't supposed to be about magic. What is it the magic is supposed to be a symbol of anyway? A man's dedication and practice? Except that Richard never does any actual training or practicing? He never seems to put in any sort of effort. It all comes to him really easily because he's a wizard.

Ugh. His stories are completely about magic.

I wish I had the magic. Maybe it would allow me to do my data analysis in a jiffy and write my thesis. And I wouldn't have to do any actual hard work. Man, having magic would be so sweet...

[Agulla]

We are forgeting something very important here. Magic is not enough, we have to give this to Terry Goodkind, magic needs something more to work: being furious.

Elrostar, have you tried to write your thesis simply by being very angry? I believe it might work.

[Gylfie]

Elrostar stared down with raptor-like eyes at his computer screen.

"Don't be blank. I don't want to have to do this. Just display my unwritten thesis now and we can all go home."

The computer screen stayed blank, a pustulent whiteness of pure evil.

"I'm telling you again, don't make this happen. Only one of us will leave here alive, and it will be me."

The computer screen taunted Elrostar with a repulisively blank screen. It was the blankness of uniformity and conformity. Not a single pixel was an individual. It was the blank whiteness of a chicken's egg. An evil chicken.

Elrostar felt his rage beginning to rise. "I tried to warn you," he said. "Now you must die."

Bringer of Theses.

Elrostar's rage flowed through him. There was a thunderous crashing and snapping. Keys shorn from their keyboard sailed through the air. An acrid blue smoke filled the room. The monitor was sundered. The computer's case rent open dripping its liquid coolant into a growing puddle on the floor. Elrostar, now an embodiment of rage advanced on the printer. The printer spasmed weakly before spitting out 97 pages of thesis. Elrostar felt his rage cool. "It's a nice attempt, but you didn't fool anyone. There's no table of contents or citations." The printer made a whining noise and a sheet of heavy bond crinkled as the machine lost control of itself in pure terror. Suddenly 15 more pages spewed forth containing a detailed TOC and a proper citation section.

"That's better." Elrostar said, feeling his rage ebb. "Now prepare to hear a 15 page speech on why it is your duty to join my objectivist army of small appliances."

[Moosicus]

Way to make an entrance Gylfie, welcome to our little thread.

[Be'lal]

...Are you prepared to follow his way?

I Needed To See the Corruption with my own Eyes.

Seriously, though, please tell me they're joking. We're obsessed fans and we only sound like that when we're mocking Goodkind.

From the Forum topics it almost looks like it started off a parody site and then got corrupted by wave after wave of blind followers.

It's okay. I liked it once, too, until I saw the light that is GRRM.

I as well. There was much sackcloth-wearing and ash-putting-in-hair

[Snowbeat]

Gylfie wins the thread.

[Sad King Billy]

About the whole deus exMagic Machina stuff. Goodkind made the following comment in this interview

TG: When you talk about fantasy, most people associate it with magic, so let me address it from that perspective. In some ways, magic is a metaphor for technology. In much the same way characters in my books have an irrational fear of magic, we live in a world of reflexive, irrational fears. Think of how we fear anything "nuclear." I used to live next door to a model solar home and the builder had a sign in the yard saying the home was powered by solar radiation. People walking by would actually cross the street because they were afraid of "solar radiation." They feared the solar house with the same irrational gut conviction that people in the past feared witchcraft and magic.

This is in part what I mean by magic being a metaphor for technology. Irrational human fears and beliefs are little different now than they were five hundred years ago, or a thousand years ago, or two thousand. In that sense, we have not progressed very much at all. Just to say what I just said about the nuclear irradiation of food is to open myself up to a storm of hostile emotions not so very much unlike the hostility directed at supposed witches, which is exactly my point.

Now, let's say that in a novel a character has to deal with the fact that she has urgent need to get somewhere--lives are at stake--and her car won't start. Do people summarize it by saying "In this story about technology gone awry . . ."? Of course not. To fail to see the true emotion and story in such a way would be a profound display of stupidity, yet this is exactly what often happens with fantasy-people say "In this story about magic gone awry . . ." I do not write books about magic. I write stories about people who just happen to have to deal with magic as one of the factors in their lives, much as we have to deal with the technology in ours. I'm proud of the stories I write; I feel embarrassed by the ignorance of those who don't get it.

So in his world magic is a metafor for technology which will always help us out. Right. Okay.

I think I prefer Bakker's Inchoroi magic, though

[MaroonedHopes]

Nevermind.

[Jaxom 1974]

Think of how we fear anything "nuclear."

I think that, and since I've never heard him speak so I don't know for certain, Mr. Goodkind is the type to say the word as "NUKE-U-LER" as opposed to most others who say it "NUKE-LI-EAR"...

I'm not saying, I'm just saying...

[Mr Smash]

and perhaps is responsible for his speeches as well, since he's never been to toastmasters.

No, he has the TelePromTer of Truth for that, an powerful artifact that recorded all the speeches of Richard's predecessors and can bring them back up in case he can't think of anything to say.

In fact, it can splice multiple speeches TOGETHER to create one super long speech that goes on for pages and pages.

[The Wolf Maid]

Oh for God's sake, that QoTD was absolutely ridiculous. So Richard is what now, Jughead Jones?

I'd believe this if we're talking about perfumes. But taste? that accurate to the point he knows how to prepare the herbs? That's just insane.

I laughed at the bit with the one with the labels/tags. I don't think actual posioners use tags to identify their stuff.

Whatever happened to that whole "this series is not about magic, oh no; it's about important human issues and decisions" spiel? Convenient Magical Magicness pops up whenever required to get this dude out of a jam.

You know things are really bad when even Scott commented about it. S:P

Well, he is a war wizard, he's supposed to know lots of things with just a touch. Now, apparently, that also extends to taste.

I Needed To See the Corruption with my own Eyes.

Seriously, though, please tell me they're joking. We're obsessed fans and we only sound like that when we're mocking Goodkind.

If you're talking about the TG fans, yes, they are seriously like that.

If you're talking about the QotD, yes, they are actual quotes from the book. As I've mentioned before, while we try to do parodies, we can't come close to the fantastically crappy work as Goodkind. We end up doing better.

I'm curious to know what kind of technology TG will attribute Richard's super taste skills.

Gylfie, that just rocks. You

If I knew I could do that, I would have done that for my undergrad thesis.

[Be'lal]

If you're talking about the TG fans, yes, they are seriously like that.

If you're talking about the QotD, yes, they are actual quotes from the book. As I've mentioned before, while we try to do parodies, we can't come close to the fantastically crappy work as Goodkind. We end up doing better.

No, I was talking about the TG Slaves. Saldy, I know that the QotD's are true because I've read the books.

The blind devotion that they show reminds me of the people of Altur'Rang.

Gylfie, that was awesome.

[The Wolf Maid]

No, I was talking about the TG Slaves. Saldy, I know that the QotD's are true because I've read the books.

The blind devotion that they show reminds me of the people of Altur'Rang.

There are TG slaves? Wow. Soon, we'll see TG Harem (oh wait, we already saw it).

Is mystar any part of it?

And yes, I'm afraid the answer is still yes. Well, they are big, big fans, and sometimes their devotion grows something akin to religious...ah....fervour.

Or maybe they're acting that way because they're infected by the Richard virus, which wipes from the mind of all rational thought with a single touch.

[Fanatic-Templar]

Well, I think it's fair to say that there are some moderate fans of Goodkind. It seems unfair to gang all the poor souls Goodkind has tainted in the same group ( despite whatever I may insinuate on the GioG forums . )