Rant and Rave without Repercussion [Book Spoilers]

[Conchobar]

Because it is so much more shocking to have Stannis be a half-retarded tactician. That and Achill--Rambo--ah, Ramsay was there. Nothing can stop that boy!

Especially when his amazing torso muscles can move around much more freely without all that cumbersome, impractical armour that has no real use in melee combat as history has shown time and time again.

[Lord Freypie]

It feels like there are only two sets of "bad guys" right now; the Boltons and The Others. And no one seems to be able to do a thing against either of them. Actually I suppose Petyr deserves to be counted as a third villain. It feels like this story and the characters it features have grown so far removed from what they were when the story was most engaging in the first 3/4 seasons. IMO

You forgot the super evil sandsnakes&Faularia ready to risk their prince's heir life to kill an innocent young girl.

Ok I can understand people prefer to forget them. :)

[Xyzzy]

Especially when his amazing torso muscles can move around much more freely without all that cumbersome, impractical armour that has no real use in melee combat as history has shown time and time again.

Ramsay the Kensai

[Red Helm]

Especially when his amazing torso muscles can move around much more freely without all that cumbersome, impractical armour that has no real use in melee combat as history has shown time and time again.

That fucking armor. Why have like three small plates, each small than the last, cover a bit of his torso and small little squares sow here and there randomly? It looks so silly and is from a practical point of view too.

[Red Helm]

Petyr is the hero the North needs, but not the one it deserves... because they've done fuck all, that's why.

[Conchobar]

Ramsay the beserker viking who clearly has no value on coming out of any battle alive, but yet somehow, never seems to get struck in the torso. It is funny, the show makes a point over and over again, usually through the medium of Jorah, at how useful plate armour can be. They then contradict themselves with Ramsay and Jon. Because they don't like their pretty actors wearing plate armour for some reason, I will ignore the lack of helmets in the show, although that is another retarded exclusion.

[R4W13Y]

Are Tyrion and Jaime even the same characters at this point? It's as if both of them have been completely neutered on the show.

I think it would be safe to say that nearly all characters in the show have very little resemblance to their book counterparts.

Ah! I think they might link Arya's blindness/poisoning with skinchanging.

This is what I think. Which cool...maybe you could have seeded that a little bit earlier?

Why was Jon stabbing so similar to that scene in airplane rather than sad.

And generic grumbling about greyworm being loved enough to fix mereen didn't 30 mereenese in masks try to kill him for bring a slave below human in the soh eyes and part of the occupying force.

Hahaha I couldn't get past that. So wait, it was just Dany that the SotH were concerned about. Not her regime, not her soldiers. Just Dany. Now that she's gone, they're totally fine with a complete foreigner without any power who's only been there for like, 2 days now ruling them with a eunuch soldier from the conqueror they hated's army. Makes sense!

My only question is, does this mean that Jon is also dead in the books? Or should I just continue being in denial and treat the books and show as different things? In other news, I fail to understand how Myrcella was completely okay with being a bastard. Also why did Shireen have to die?

I really wouldn't take what the show does as book canon. Definitely treat them as different entities.

Myrcella is so sexually enlightened from her years in Dorne that she's totes cool with her and her brother being illegitimate bastards that are the product of incest.

Shireen had to die to make us hate Stannis enough that we wouldn't mind when he died. And to also eliminate Stannis from the storyline. Perfectly valid reasons /s

It brings viewers - back maybe? - and generates a LOT of hype around the episode that came right after the stupid ass unearned immolation of Shireen.

Earlier on Sunday when I said I didn't expect to see Benjen here I got a reply along the lines of,

'No one is more accursed than the hype slayer'. :rofl:

When will show apologists learn that we book snobs are always right? :P

at least they were straight about this and butchered all important plots

That's true, I guess it's unfair to call them completely inconsistent :dunno:

I swear all Tyrion and Varys dialogue has been degraded to sarcastically sassing each other and stroking their own/each other's cocks.

"If oooonly I knew someone with a vaaaast spy network"

"If oooonnnly we hadsomeonewhocandealwithacityondabrinkofacivilwar if oooooooooooooooonly!"

:rofl:

Book Dorne Arianne's plot to raise Dorne for Myrcella in hopes that she will secure also her own place as heir to Sunspear. Ellaria implores the Martells to abandon their vendetta and embrace peace. Dramatic conclusuion revealing Doran has been conspiring all along. Complex family drama in a rich, unique world.

Show Dorne Arianne cut. Sand Snakes and Ellaria's plot to kill Myrcella. Doran has no secret plan. Buddy comedy in a shallow, cliche world.

Book Sansa Disguised in the Vale as Littlefinger's illegitimate daughter. Observing Littlefinger consolidate power in the Vale. Littlefinger's plan to reveal her identity and retake the North with the Vale. Never loses who she is.

Show Sansa Travels in public from the Vale to Winterfell. Marries Ramsay Bolton and is raped. Loses who she is and accepts death before being rescued.

Book Winterfell Tensions rising between Northmen, Freys, and Boltons. Random murders of Freys. Ramsay rapes Jeyne. Stannis' ominous approach.

Show Winterfell Ramsay rapes Sansa. A servant is flayed.

Book Stannis Liberates the North from the Ironborn. Rebuilds army by reaching out to Northern houses and clans. Refuses to make human sacrifices. Lays siege to Winterfell. Climactic battle looms.

Show Stannis Disregards Ironborn. Makes no attempt to rally Northern support. Sacrifices his daughter. Marches up to Winterfell and is demolished. Anticlimactic battle.

Book Tyrion Bitter and spiteful.

Show Tyrion Wisecracking and ideological.

Nailed it.

I'd say they've done pretty well for themselves! Bravo, D&D!

And this is only a small percentage of the plots they've completely fucked over.

Dillane's performance is... odd. He can clearly act yet there is hardly any subtle emotional conveying going on. He looks bored most of the time. Like utterly indifferent to everything around him, else pulling bizarre facial expressions.

I agree. He can be really good sometimes, and he looks the part, but most of the time he just looks bored and/or confused. I never quite get what emotion he's trying to convey.

[Paid Debt Lannister]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Sorry guys I'm late for the party. Haven't been here in ages but this episode deserves it. D&D are completely retards, they managed to fuck up almost everything!!!

Please someone explain the BoI to me, for the love of God. Stannis Baratheon got his ass kicked by RAAAMSAAAAAYYYY hahahahahaha sorry but this is hilarious. The guy who fights shirtless, who's never been in a single battle, kicked the "best commander"'s butt. And then GPSBrienne found him and finished the job... OFFSCREEENNNNN

At Dorne, Ellaria killed Myrcella... At what, 1 km of her home?? And Doran doesn't even have a FOCKING plan!!! Because yeah Aegon, Arianne and Quentyn do not exist! Oh my God show WHY!!!

WHY NOT JUST PUT LSH IN THIS MESS AND HAVE BRIENNE AND JAIME BE USEFUL!

I am officialy and without any regrets out of this mess. There are thousands of good shows to watch and not enough time anyway. Will not waste mine on this garbage.

[Red Helm]

Ramsay the beserker viking who clearly has no value on coming out of any battle alive, but yet somehow, never seems to get struck in the torso. It is funny, the show makes a point over and over again, usually through the medium of Jorah, at how useful plate armour can be. They then contradict themselves with Ramsay and Jon. Because they don't like their pretty actors wearing plate armour for some reason, I will ignore the lack of helmets in the show, although that is another retarded exclusion.

I swear Jorah when fighting Drogo's bloodrider is the only time someone has been truly well armored on the upper body, except the head. He even had chainmail underneath the plate! Even fucking Robb wore like linen and shit beneath his plate.

[HexMachina]

So bad writing (understatement of the year...) aside, does everyone else agree that the acting in Dorne was sub par?

Someone ought to tell NellCella that acting isnt for everyone...

[AlpenglowMemories]

Who looks forward to Grey Worm, beloved King of Meereen?

TELL ME YOU PROBLEM? YOU FEAR YOU NO SEE YOU SHEEP AGAIN?

:bs:

[Conchobar]

That fucking armor. Why have like three small plates, each small than the last, cover a bit of his torso and small little squares sow here and there randomly? It looks so silly and is from a practical point of view too.

Yeah but at least Stannis had chainmail underneath his silly armour. And I always imagined Stannis' armour was the way it was for more versatile movement in battle. Ramsay just goes to battle in a skirt and some boots and a sword with a smile on his face.

You see people, in this world, people have all mutually agreed never to strike eachother's unprotected pretty actor heads in the heat of battle, wouldn't be chivalrous.

[Conchobar]

del

[voodooqueen126]

They had to make Daenerys a damsel in distress again.

[Varys Imilitude]

The show is a disappointment. That's all I will write about it.

[Red Helm]

The show is a disappointment. That's all I will write about it.

Please, we need more smug sarcasm!

[Valetudo]

Please explain me what show did I just watch! Is this still GoT?

This was so bad that it's not even funny anymore.Logic was murdered once more in order to give us "shocking" or "rewarding" scenes, and bad ones at that!

Remember people saying that "fixing" the books was vital because AFfC/ADwD had too many cliffhangers? Seems to me that didn't go that well.

Let's do a scene by scene review.

Stannis:

-Way to butcher a character you've build up from the beginning of season 2. In 2 episodes, and maybe 5 minutes of screentime, he turned from the badass king who cared about the fate of Westeros to an unlikable asshole who've lost everything.

-Shireen died to melt some snow! All hail the huge power of R'hllor and Blood Magic!

-Half the men "escaped" during the night with ALL the horses? Really? And nobody saw it? Guess that Ramsey's twenty good men raid didn't serve as a lesson. So much for Stannis, military genius.

-Selyse killed herself. Poor mom! Even bloody fanatics loose it when something wrong happens to their children (but only if you're a mother. If you're a father, you're above that).

-Sneaky Meli-sans-bra goes back to the Wall like she's a little girl who've done something wrong and hide from her dad!

-Stannis "who never changes his mind" keeps on marching towards Winterfell and is planning to siege it with infantry only!

-Roose Bolton has approximately 3000 cavalry. WOW. Was he really afraid of Stannis with such a force?

-But forget about Roose, Ramsey is in command! Ramsey is really a god. He encircles Stannis's army, but let him escape to the woods alone. Guess the horses were really thirsty and got back to WF as soon as the battle was won, because they're nowhere to be found in the "after battle" shots.

-Then comes Brienne, this poor soul who waited for a signal for half a season only to miss it for a couple of seconds (and what a strong candle this must be to create such light!). Brienne totally took some lessons from Ramsey's twenty good men and was able to out-sneak them! The student surpasses the master. D&D then totally missed an opportunity of adding another of their "moments" (or, like everyone know, tropes) by not having Brienne "saving" Stannis before killing him. I guess this year intern is not as talented as Dave Hill. This suggestion may have earned him a job. All this nightmare ends with the least memorable execution I have ever seen.

-In the end, we're given some resolution to Stannis's story, but Brienne will still continue to search for the Stark girls (what an improvement from the books). The Bolton's still hold Winterfell, but we'll surely see Batfinger swipping in next season with a "battle of ice - part 2 - D&D version".

-So, that's 2 unresolved stories. Not really cliffhangers but almost there.

Sansa:

-So much empowerment! Sonsa MacGyver was able to pick a lock with a cork screw and escape her chambers to go light that candle. Too bad plot obliged Brienne to quit watching 2 seconds before that.

-It's all right, she'll just keep wandering inside the castle searching for a way out, protected by the cammo hood. It's super effective until she crosses path with our lovely Myranda!

-Then, Reek turns into Theon because Sansa makes a beautiful speech about "better dying while I'm still me" (guess nobody told her it's to late for that).

-Theon pushes Myranda and she obviously die because there's no way to survive a fall from that high.

-Then, he brings Sansa higher still and they jump from the wall! t's from the books, right! The problem is that there's nowhere near enough snow to make this scene possible.

-Not really the "most ambiguous ending" that Sophie sold us, but guess what, we have a fucking cliffhanger! cool!

Arya:

-So Meryn Trant likes to hurt little girls! That's from the books too, right? Beating Sansa under the Kings orders must mean that he must do it for fun too!

-Surprise, Arya is here with a new face! We're gonna see her kill someone from her list, so cool!

-She then turns into Hulk Bienne and stabs him in both eyes! and repeatedly in the heart: Then she stabs him in the gut! and in the back! But fucking Meryn Trants keeps living while Arya makes her psycho speech, and because no execution is complete before slicing a throat for good measure.

-She magically escapes the brothel and is next seen in the Faces room where she's totally turning blind as a punition, after yet another speech about the fact that faceless men are no one (don't you get it, girl?).

-So Arya is now blind, what the fuck is happening? (Cliffhanger nº 2).

Porne:

-Jaime leaves happily with Mircella, with Faullaria making another 180 turn and saying her goodbye with a big kiss Porne style!

-After another Tienne/Bron "moment and a lovely discussion between Jaime and Myrcella, here comes the shock: she inexplicably dies! Faullaria was fooling us, she completed her REVENGE! Nice. Nevermind that Trystane, sole heir to Dorne, is on the ship to Kings Landing. -So unexpected! what will happen next? How will poor prince Doran resolve this mess? You'll see on the next season, or probably not (cliffhanger nº3).

Mereen:

-Daario and Mormont leave St Tyrion to rule the city while they search for Khaleesi! And Varis will help too! Kings Landing Dream Team is back!

-Meanwhile, poor Deadpan leaves injured Drogon in search for food and is encircled by fucking Dothraki in an irish landscape (the dothraki see really changed since last time we've seen it). ---Again, a cliffhanger (nº4).

Cersei:

-Good scenes if we compare them with the rest of the episode. Still, they managed to add two unnecessary naked shots just for fun (look at the bright side, at least there was parity).

-Robert Strong presentation was poorly timed.

The Wall:

-First, we have Sam living the watch with his girl like it's nothing. He really grew some balls. He's the one to suggest it, and don't care if maesters are not allowed to have wives too. He'll certainly find another loophole.

-Then, we have Meli-sans-bra arriving like she was grounded. Ridiculous.

-And of course, the big one. Jon drops into a trap involving is uncle Benjen. At least they had Thorne striking first, that gave some meaning to the quote. But it had the perverse result of having Jon last words being "Olly". Potatoes strike!

-And guess what? Another cliffhanger (nº5).

So, that's it.

These last episodes completely killed any hope I had from the show ever turning good back. I don't know what I'll do next year, but I'm certainly considering the option of not watching anymore, and that's a damn shame.

[Red Helm]

Wasn't there some editing or something with the walk of shame? Swear I read Heady refused to be naked so they used a body double or something.

[gelerth]

Where did Mel find a horse ?

:bs:

[dannyk65]

Wasn't there some editing or something with the walk of shame? Swear I read Heady refused to be naked so they used a body double or something.

I read about that a couple months ago too.