The Real Will Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Yes, MD, and the fact that I have no pre-existing engineering skills whatsoever is probably actually beneficial in this context. ... and one should try always try to kick the children in or around their jaws. In this way do they know that we cherish them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Nothing like foot to jaw contact to show the love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhelanArcetus Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 So what's the approved manner of saying "I hate kids. I especially hate fat ugly lazy slobby people who have a dozen screaming children"? I mean, if a kick to the jaw expresses my love, I need something to express my hate and rage. And I don't have a sword handy. Plus those collectivist swine police would likely object since my moral celery is insufficient to convince them to reject their commie ways and join my objectivist, individualist crusade to have everyone swear eternal and blind loyalty to me, then have sex with a hot chick. While the psycho dominatrixes watch, because their individuality is too much for me to get them out of the room if they want to be there. Which they do, the pervs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Hate and Rage? That would equal to your thing rising and...ripping out your enemies' spines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deornoth Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Hi Wolf Maid! Did Richard Rahl really say that thing in your sig? WTF was he talking about? (Sorry, no moral celery I'm afraid...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theMountainGoat Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Alright I have finally caught up with the thread. Some replies: I am officially no longer allowed to criticize others for their tasteless comments on this board. I totally agree with this statement. I'm wayyyyy too late to get into this topic, but I'll just say my piece... Would anyone really object if Hitler or Pol Pot were to be gang-raped for their crimes? If you would object, can you at least see why others might feel that such a punishment was justified (or, indeed, not harsh enough)? If your answer to the second question is no, then continue to let fly your moral outrage. To me, all punishments are intended to hurt. Thus, the issue is finding an acceptable level of cruelty. I don't have a precise scale worked out, but I don't think that rape and torture are that far removed from murder. I find it illogical that people can accept murder as punishment but not rape or torture. This guy was surely not for real, tell me he was trolling the thread. Please? The answer to both questions was no and no. How could anybody possibly consider rape as an acceptable form of justice and not realise how barbaric and disturbing this notion is to the majority of rational human beings? Kudos to everyone for their arguments which accurately conveyed my opinion on justice. It is there to restrict dangerous individuals from society and if possible rehabilitate them. On the death penalty I lean towards its non application because justice is imperfect. But I too find it hard to not wish death upon the most despicable men in human history, which is why I should never be a Judge I suppose. I mean what was he even proposing here, even if you could find volunteers to rape him, and by rape I assume he means a male criminal being violently sodomised by other males - you just would not find anybody to do this in a controlled situation. What then? You just let them go again? Because clearly they will have learned their lesson and won't repeat their offences or won't be psychologically damaged by such a thing? You would potentially be creating a more dangerous individual. Or was the idea that they would just be locked up afterwards or executed? Seriously - if you extol the virtues of the nobility of man then you cannot condone such barbaric practices. This is why many people feel Terry Goodkind's books seem like they are written by a vengence motivated teenager who creates implausable situations simply to allow his own rage at these things a means of grounding itself. Wow...I leave for two days and miss everything! For a real recipe, take a look at this: Stew ala Tairy Ingredents: 3 testacles, preferably human. For maximum enjoyment, use namble cock. 20 ounces of Wild Turkey Bourbon 5 pounds of hamburger - cows are discordant too! 2 spines - human only. Tear out with bare hands for maximum freshness. 5 stalks of celery - self-explanitory. 10 pounds of enemy flesh - human ememies only. 5 chicken-that-are-not-chickens breasts. Assemble ingredients in hole cavity made in enemy's chest. Roast over an open fire for 3 hours, or until you feel its done. Serve with Bloody Tairy, and eat while painted white for maximum enjoyment. Serves one - how can a true individual share? And before I forget: Moose guide me, Moose protect me, Moose make me his own. I shelter in his celery. :bow: :bow: :bow: ETA: removed the goat ingredient. GOATS WILL NOT WORK IN A PINCH YOU GOT-DAMNED PEDERAST COMMUNIST GOATS ARE NOBLE CREATURES AND ARE TO BE TREATED AS SUCH NOT USED AS A SHITTY ALLEGORY IN YOUR 2-BIT PARODY YOU PUNK :mad: :mad: :mad: Glad you stood up for the rights of Goats everywhere X-Ray - thank you. As you might notice I am back online at work. No idea what is going on but today, for no fathomable reason this site is not banned. This might be temporary, I might not be able to get back in here another day. Very strange. Anyway some replies on this subject: What about the lo-fi version, is that blocked too? You can't post, but you can read. Nothing to do with the technical set up of the board, the entire thing was blocked. Try changing your IP. If the access list is specifically for you that will fool it. My internet access is via the company network and is restricted by software called BlackSpider which is part of the Firewall at the access point (which is not even in this office, but in Oxford) so merely changing my IP would have no effect. Also my PC is restricted rights meaning I cannot install new software and hacking into stuff would almost certainly get me fired. Mountain Goat: browse by proxy. Lots of good proxy sites that let you into most blocked websites. First thing I tried, most proxy sites are banned too. But anyway, I am here and hopefully will continue to be here. Love the parody Will - good work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Yes. Not quite sure what exactly he meant by them. Maybe Mad Moose, PBHN, will shed light on this. And oh, meet Gruff the Atheist Goat, which comes with I 'heart' Rand mug. (he's near the bottom of the page. Thanks Bazzlebane.) (and MG, I mean no disrespect to you) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Will Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 If you really hate children? Thus was it written by the LORD RAHL our saviour, who is not a religious figure, nay not even unto the tiniest morsel of a theistic crumb: If thou hateth the progeny of the un-celerous, if thou hateth the youth of the commie lick-spittle, thou wilt not be judged, for thine is the clarity, and thine is the light of the TRUTH. But I say this unto you brothers: if thou dost hateth the get of the pacifist vegetarian, to the extent that thou doth hate him, bring not thine boot unto their jaw, nor bring thine boot unto any part of the face for to do so is to BLESS the child that they might see the way and the light of the THING. And know, that while it is a blessing thou wouldst bestow upon the child, thine blessing doest not carry within it any religious significance as religion is COLLECTIVIST and religion is SHAMEFUL and religion is the very tool of those most wicked creatures who did that thing unto our beloved TERRY in the closet while his flesh was young and his mind void, and he has carried the shame of it yay even unto this very day, though he remembers it not, excluding the wee dark hours approaching and immediately following four of the clock at which time he is jerked awake from a dream screaming "no, no, foul bests, do it not!" but shortly cannot bring to mind the shape nor the substance of the vision which unsettled him so! Yay, brothers, if though hatest the child, take from him his goat. Take from him his outfit and strip him of his TRAVELLING PANTS - which one imagines as calf-length and ever so slightly flared, or else gathered about the ankle by means of some tie or tape. If though hatest the child throw him down among the very lemmings of discord that they may gnaw at his toes and feast upon his nubile buttocks and KNOW that neither the TERRY nor our LORD SIR RICHARD THE MIGHTY feel any such URGES as paedophilia, misogyny, bestiality, nor a latent need to assert their own heterosexuality through the continuous adoration of leather clad women WHO ARE LEGION, no matter how they might write about such matters! Nay brothers, if thou hateth the child thou need do only one thing: drive him from the clarity, drive him from the sanctity, drive him from the non-religious divinity of our LORD'S love, and let him be one with the masses, undifferentiated, his individuality subsumed. Let him feel pity, let him know weakness, let him be as the children of peace, and those too of the chicken. And unto he parents deliver a right vicious blow to the cheek with thine THING and cry unto them: "Keep thy pestilent brood in order thou subjective, thou individuated, thou un-celerous BAGGAGE!" And thus are the hordes controlled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Brilliant Will. I just died laughing at that. We should post this at LJ. With the purging for pedophiles there, this would fit very nicely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Will Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 I don't know. I'd had to get Terry purged from there for urges over which he has no control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazzlebane Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Yes. Not quite sure what exactly he meant by them. Maybe Mad Moose, PBHN, will shed light on this. And oh, meet Gruff the Atheist Goat, which comes with I 'heart' Rand mug. (he's near the bottom of the page. Thanks Bazzlebane.) (and MG, I mean no disrespect to you) The more I think about it, the more I think Wold Maid is right -- I need a Tairy quote to back up my noble goat avatar instead of some OBJECTIVIST Ministries quote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted May 30, 2007 Author Share Posted May 30, 2007 Or, with TG as your author, you could be kicking a child by the jaw, knowing representational designs involving lethality and being a walking apothecary, too. Or you might be a giant, self-important douche. The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away WLU: I am officially no longer allowed to criticize others for their tasteless comments on this board. theMountainGoat: I totally agree with this statement. (Rumbling of thoughts moving through my computer-like brain. Pause for insult processing. Scan for sarcasm. Accessing beligerent self-defence modules 1-7.) Hey, shut up! I think we should begin our own official list of who should play what part on the SoT miniseries that's coming up. I think we've already done so in the past, but the time is ripe for a revisitation. I second the nomination of Bruce Campbell, for the perfect combination of physical appropriateness and camp value. For Klan, I'm sure they'll try for Angelina Jolie. Originally I was going to suggest Jennifer Connelly as a second-string 'ugly stepsister' substitute, but I realized she's still pretty hot. Instead, Fran Drescher, or Maggie Wheeler - both have the perfect voice for all the nasal whining that I hear whenever Klan gets all soppy. Now, most important character - Violet. I'd suggest the Olsen twins, circa 1992 (did I mention my list transcends the linear flow of time?). See, you'd get two takes when you kick them in the jaw, plus they'd pay for their future crimes of being... the Olsen twins. In fact, a complete list of possible candidates would include Paris Hilton, both Simpson sisters, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan (aka Firecrotch) and Tara Reid. Were I the director, I'd give each one a kick at the can. Jaw. Whatever. (Serious note, how the hell are they going to shoot that scene? Will the Yeard compromise his artistic integrity enough to remove it? Will he compromise it at all? And why the hell did he agree to Sam Raimi? Spiderman I & II sucked balls? Oh, right, he's got no taste.) Darken Rahl - Owen Wilson Chase - Andre the Giant or Lou Ferrigno Zedd - Barney Martin perhaps? No! Andy Warhol. Perfect. Demmin Nass - Michael Richards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Richard = Warwick Davis (Willow) Kahlan = Rosie O'Donnell Zedd = Jean Claude Van Dam Chase = Lou Ferrigno (awesome!) Darken Rahl = David Bowie!!!! Rachel = Tom Cruise Denna = Eddie Izzard (in drag) This is gonna be one awesome movie!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Not quite sure what exactly he meant by them. Maybe Mad Moose, PBHN, will shed light on this. Nope. This one got me. Some magic shit is being done by Zedd, Nathan, and the Prelate (for those of you not in the know, they're the big high magicky muckity-mucks in the series). The focus of all their hoodoo is Nicci (formerly evil sorceress with a rack that can stop whole armies). Ol' Dick walks in and (despite that he's only been a magic-slingin' guy for about a month) tells them that what they're doing is all wrong. He then goes into a long spiel about symbols and algebra and kinda lost me. Either I don't have as much celery as I think I do, or the whole thing made no sense. Or both. Possibly neither. I just don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tormund Ukrainesbane Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Either I don't have as much celery as I think I do, or the whole thing made no sense. It's you man. Didn't you know that Tairy has an M.C. (master of celerity) in Representational Fictional Algebraic Nonsense from the University of N.C. (not a chicken)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 The more I think about it, the more I think Wold Maid is right -- I need a Tairy quote to back up my noble goat avatar instead of some OBJECTIVIST Ministries quote. Everyone needs a Terry quote. If you want some, you can click the link on my sig. Tons of sig material there. Or you could go with a quote from SoT. ...An SoT movie/miniseries casting without Chuck Norris? Shame on you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Everyone needs a Terry quote. If you want some, you can click the link on my sig. Tons of sig material there. I can't bring myself to read it. Terry Goodkind, uninterrupted and un-snarked, for 200 paragraphs of Arial font text? AAARGH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Well, you can ask for suggestions here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 ...An SoT movie/miniseries casting without Chuck Norris? Shame on you! Gratch = Chuck Norris Happy now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Why yes. If we get a kissing scene between him and Richard, I'm a happy camper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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