The Wolf Maid Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 So my real question is this. Will we see Goodkind cry? What Vigo said. Haha, imagine giving Tairy's drivel to a screenwriter and ordering him to come up with a filmable script . Or imagine the screenwriter saying, "Who wrote this? A *bleep* *bleep*? It's horrible!" with TG standing just behind him. Hell, they came up with a movie of Ayn Rand's works. I'm sure they can come out with a series for SoT. (btw, I wonder what would Richard say about the whole LJ Strikethrough thing. Ah yes. He'd probably advocate that the journal and comms of the child molestors not only be deleted, but it's owners be raped as well. Or their testicles eaten. Why do I ask such silly questions?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 These are all good points. In contemplating the horrors of a SoT TV series, I hadn't considered the Yeard's reaction to its inevitable watering-down. That will make it all worthwhile. It'll either be an unwatchable preachy cheese-fest (cos really, who cares about the Nobility of the Human Spirit? We like our nobility with a side of ironic discord, thanx) and get panned, or else it'll be done slightly tongue-in-cheek which Tairy will HATE... Imagine if Tairy tried to write the script himself. "Episode 86 - Richard's Monologue Continues". Richard & Zedd's Excellent Adventure gets my vote. I'm still working on the Grease one though but if someone else did it that'd be fab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theMountainGoat Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I have an idea in mind for the Bill & Ted parody. I'm pretty sure I won't have the time for it today, I'll have a think about it over the weekend and might put something together next week. But if anyone else has a great idea for this feel free to jump in with your own parody Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 The thought of a Bill and Ted "tribute" just made me break a sweat. Also now the possibility of The Matrix...of Truth is making my pulse race. The adventures of NeoDick and Kahlinity, not to mention Cara, the Matrix Dominatrix! Ooooh, I might have to take a shot at this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhelanArcetus Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Actually I wonder if this would be a better result for the TV series, assuming that the various contract details make it feasible. Tairy, seeing how the story has been dumbed down, and almost all of the moral clarity removed, and the dragon made more important (which a snarky screenwriter did, not because dragons are cool, which they are, but because he remembers the "some jerks put a dragon on the cover and that's why people think my BDSM/almost-rape/objectivist-splort-fest fantasy is normal fantasy", and just wants to get his noble goat), pulls the plug on the entire project. The SoT series never happens, and hearing the screaming (and spine-ripping) from clear across the country, no studio ever considers the rights again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Any scenes people want to particularly see in the SoT series/movie? I want to see the testicle-eating thing, the spine-ripping action, and yeah, the kick in the jaw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhelanArcetus Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Any scenes people want to particularly see in the SoT series/movie? I want to see the testicle-eating thing, the spine-ripping action, and yeah, the kick in the jaw. The jaw kick is classic, and spine-ripping action is awesome. However, I'm not sure that I have sufficient moral celery to be able to watch the testicle-eating thing. I might have to cross my legs and cower in a corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dycedarg Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 If there is no kicking of little girls in the jaw, it just isn't SOT and my moral celery will not allow me to watch it. The rest is negotiable but the kicking is a must. Bonus Points of Truthiness will be awarded if they somehow manage to work in the rising of Richard's thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rado907 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I can't help but wonder how they (the TV people) would approach the glorious battle where Kahlan and her troops fight in the nude. Come to think of it, the SoT would make a very weak TV series, but might be good enough for a mediocre porno. They can use Sword of Truthiness dildos and have massive S&M mord-sith orgies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 Every single Keanu comment by all contributors made me laugh. Much praising to all, have a namblecock on me. Can I just ask. Does anyone else see making the SoT as a television series as a bad idea...So my real question is this. Will we see Goodkind cry?Goodkind's tears cure cancer, but Goodkind has never cried. I think the SoT miniseries will be the greatest blessing the Goodkind thread has ever seen. First, the series itself will be incredibly celerious and tragically bad. I mean, they've made good books into bad movies, so imagine what this one'll look like? I've never seen Eragon the movie, but I imagine it is the gold standard for shitty book-to-movie adaptations, and SoT will bury it in shit mouth-deep. Second, when the Yeard's public speaking engagements, movie promotions and inevitable hissy fit when they cut all of the bullshit joke philosofiction out, we will have to hire expensive consultants to assist us in the mocking process. We'll go from Goodkind XX to Goodkind XXIV in a week. We'll create an entirely new board just to mock the publicity stills. There will have to be separate threads dedicated to mocking each public appearances and self-damning verbal vomit autofellatio interview posted on the internet. If we're really, really lucky, that paragon of pop culture criticism South Park will get wind of it and take it to town. We'll all go down in a blaze of glorious mockery, dying dehydrated and covered with bedsores as we type just one last message. It will be our jihad, our holy war (apologies to any followers of Islam out there for placing your religion in the same post as Terry Goodkind). Come to think of it, the SoT would make a very weak TV series, but might be good enough for a mediocre porno.SoT porno is soooo Goodkind XII. Communist. Any scenes people want to particularly see in the SoT series/movie? I want to see the jaw-kicking scene, but more than that, I want to see how they justify it in interviews and director's commentary. "Yeah, we were going to take out the jaw-kicking scene, but then Terry started screaming and threatening to sue. When we pointed out that he had signed over all the rights, he kept trying to hit us but it'd mess up his ponytail and he'd stop to fix it. Plus, he's not very strong or coordinated, so it was kinda embarassing. Eventually we had Eric from IT just kinda put a bear hug onto him and hold him until he calmed down. It took about two hours and he, you know, did it in his pants, but eventually he just sort of stopped struggling and started crying and sucking on the end of his ponytail. Anyway, we didn't have the heart at that point to take it out completely, so we just went with the 'shadown on the wall' shot so we didn't have to actually show a kid getting kicked in the jaw. One good thing, Eric had an inoperable tumour in his kidney, and apparently the struggle just kinda knocked it loose. He pissed it out like a kidney stone a couple hours later, screamed like a he was being anally raped with a barbed cock though. I still think it's a stupid scene." Hell, they came up with a movie of Ayn Rand's works. I'm sure they can come out with a series for SoT. Are you talking about The Fountainhead? I read the book and saw the movie. Actually liked the book (about 1/4 the size of Atlas Shrugged), but as one expected, the movie was just kinda pathetic. B&W too. Didactic literature does not translate well to the big screen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcelo Rebelo Firqoralas Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 All this talk of spine-ripping action makes me froth at the mouth just ever so slightly. Sadly, my celery is low at the moment and I can't remember where this marvel takes place. Is it Richard who engages in such noble business? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humble Asskicker Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Any scenes people want to particularly see in the SoT series/movie? I want to see the testicle-eating thing, the spine-ripping action, and yeah, the kick in the jaw. All I know is that they better keep all the rape scenes intact, or I'll be very angry. How the hell are we supposed to know who the villains are if they don't rape anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 All this talk of spine-ripping action makes me froth at the mouth just ever so slightly. Sadly, my celery is low at the moment and I can't remember where this marvel takes place. Is it Richard who engages in such noble business? Of course. It takes place at the end of Temple of the Winds. Ol' Dick's evil brother Drefan was trying to screw Kahlan, Dick gets pissed off and they have it out for about a second. Drefan comes at Dick with the sword (of truth, though it doesn't help him much) and Dick rams his hand through Drefan's midsection, grips his spine and yanks it out. A few minutes later Drefan still has one last burst of energy and attacks Dick again. The Slyph (whore made out of mercury, or something) kills him when he tries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Okay, FUCK. I go to training for a week and that then we're up to 19 and almost 200 posts in? Damn Damn Damn. Now I gotta go post in the June Reading thread that I'm reading these threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 The Bloody Tairy 3 shots of vodka (preferably from a former Communist Bloc country that now has some form of democracy) 8 oz Hot and Spicy V8 juice 2 pitted green olives 2 cocktail onions 2 large peppercinis, stems removed 2 sticks of moral celery 2 cocktail picks, of the sword variety 1 lemon wedge sea salt and pepper Write the word "Truth" on both cocktail picks. Spear the olives (they represent the torsos of your enemies, with holes blown through them), the cocktail onions (the testicles of your enemies), and the peppercinis (the withered ears of your enemies) onto the picks, in whatever order your individuality tells you to do. Wet the edge of a pint glass with the lemon wedge (your sour disposition), and encrust the edges with salt (which you shall sow in the fields of your enemies while engaging in a guerilla war). Pour the recently-liberated vodka and the collectivist vegetable juice into a pint glass, add ice to fill the glass. Pepper the drink as you would pepper an SoT book with speeches. Stab the cocktail picks into the heart of the drink while muttering "Bringer of Hangover Relief" repeatedly. Stir the concoction with the moral celery, and consume. I truly believe that the "Truth" should be written on the glass, not the picks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Wow. No longer mere lemmings, now we're the root of all evil? Sounds like a promotion to me! Gods I'm proud to count myself amongst your number. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Gods I'm proud to count myself amongst your number. Of course, this assumes that our existence isn't a lie. Or can we still be the root of all evil even if we are nothing more than figments of mystar's diseased imagination? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Of course, this assumes that our existence isn't a lie. Or can we still be the root of all evil even if we are nothing more than figments of mystar's diseased imagination? Run with it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zap Rowsdower Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Maybe if we're really lucky, when the SoT DVDs come out we there will be an author commentary track. And I also eagerly await the opportunity to launch an invasion of the Entertainment forum once the series is released. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 And I also eagerly await the opportunity to launch an invasion of the Entertainment forum once the series is released. They won't know what him 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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