dooog

I was actually enjoying this episode up until the last 5 minutes... when the two largest fleets in all of westeros bump into one another. In the middle of an ocean. In the pitch black of night. Without anyone sounding the alarm.

An awful episode. And the way in which Arya's story played out makes last week's episode even worse, this show has been hitting new lows all season. The stupidity of the writing and the dialogue is astounding, sad to see a former good show become this poor. I'll give it a very generous 2/10

Not a great start to the season. I would give it a 5/10 Dorne was complete garbage, really dreadful stuff. Didn't care for Arya's bit part, she appears to be the show's new designated torturee and her arc feels a little stale, why even bother feature her this episode if it's just a minute of her getting hit with a stick? put it in a different episode where she has an extra scene or 2 instead of having her as an Also Ran. I didn't have that much of a problem with the Sansa / Brienne scene. They need to move Sansa into place and Brienne needed something to keep her existence relevant. They were also meeting their quota for action & violence I suppose Tyrion's bit wasn't great and the actor looks thoroughly bored. Jaime and Cersei's part was fine. However! I did enjoy The Wall this week and for those scenes with Allister and Davos I don't see how anyone can justify rating the episode at 1/10, a 1 means it would ALL have to be terrible.

Mixed bag Cersei's walk was well done Arya's part was fine Sam's part was fine Sansa / Theon was a joke, jumping a 50 foot wall oki doke They made a complete balls up of Jon's FTW, everything about it was shite from Kit's acting to Oly having his telegraphed moment Dorne had a suitably terrible end to what's been a farce of a story arc. I burst out laughing when Myrcella keeled over and died, literally every time someone gets hugged on this show they're dead meat Stannis i'm not too bothered about, though it annoyed me immensely how neither he nor anyone else tried to get his army into any semblance of a formation once he saw the Bolton army on the horizon Brienne staring at a tower and Oh Em Gee she didn't see the candle. Ugh, dreadful Dany's part was underwhelming and rather pointless. Tyrion / Jorah was crap again, send a whole two people to look for your airborne leader? Actually the more I think about this episode the worse it seems. I'll give it a 5 though it seems far too generous

One of the better episodes of S5 so i'd give it a 7 or 8 - Dorne wasn't quite as crap as it usually is, although the game of slaps between the sand snakes was a stupid waste of time - Daznak's pit was done almost perfectly so credit where it's due it was superb. Didn't like how greyscale Jorah grabs Daenerys though - Arya's scenes were fine but too much time establishing that Meryn is a pedo for SHOCK! value - The Wall was okay, but they had to include that stupid child yet again - And finally Shireen... her scene with Davos made her subsequent demise too predictable. Her scene with Stannis afterwards was excellent and the sacrifice was very well done, though most people here probably won't be able to see that through their rage

Enjoyable episode so i'd give it an 8 or 9 The 20 minute battle was good though a couple things annoyed me, like how several wights were downed wildling weapons. Jon vs WW was fairly cool and I liked the eery silence between initial slaughter and assaulting the gates. Blue Darth Maul had a nice moment for himself. Tyrion and Daenerys scene was painfully bad, literally everything about it was piss poor Roose, Sansa, Cersei and Arya's bits were grand No sand snakes was a relief

To be fair he has a point. IMO it's a combination of the diminishing quality of the source material and of D&D making some very poor decisions and downright sloppy dumbed down writing. Losing four great characters, particularly Charles Dance and Rory McCann is a massive blow especially when your choice of replacements are Dorne, White Arbor, BwB, Griff and the Iron Isles. Dorne wasn't terribly exciting in the books, though the show has managed to make a complete and utter hash of it. Arya and the faceless men on the other hand has been okay and more or less been faithful with source material and yet, those scenes are underwhelming. People fret over Lady Stoneheart's absence, personally I think it was a great decision to drop her, though they should've kept the BWB. One thing that's always irked me in the books is how book death isn't final unless your head is chopped off, burned or mounted on a pike. White Arbor and Manderly would've made for good television. Wyman even fits the show's caricature of the bumbling fat oaf. And pies would've given the show a nice shock gasp moment which is what it appears to rely on. As for the Iron Isles, it'd nice to know the status of those guys, but again, it was one of the weaker points of the source material. I audibly sighed every time Damphair would show up and it always seemed like an unnecessary detour.

Looks to me like they're subbing Bronn in for Arys Oakheart

Would give it a 7/10 Enjoyed most of and never thought i'd say this, but Tyrion's scenes were the episode's weak point. That whole cartoony bit where he beats up the slaver which obviously convinces Jorah's new master to buy him. Then we have Hodor's brother set him loose so he can perform his grand reveal to Daenerys, it was shite. Then the fighting pit scene itself was horrendous, they borrowed "Gladiator's" logic of having 10-12 slaves fight a battle royale to the death, instead of you know maybe training them. Those slaves must be on special offer or something to just slaughter them off like that.

The entire series will end like this: Jon and Daeny waving to the cheering crowds in their "just married" carriage with white walker heads tied on the back instead of tin cans. Tyrion, now Lord of Casterly Rock, sober and loved by the smallfolk will turn around and make a witty quip to Missandei who just then happens to be breast feeding Grey Worm's baby. Loras will be standing there doing something gay. Then the camera pans around the horizon, where we see Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion going at it like rabbits having a threesome... they look up and breathe loads of fire into the camera and everything cuts to black. Sorry for the spoilers but it was kinda obvious

It saddens me to see how so many people completely miss the point of this show. Grab a pen and i'll spell it out for you, ye damn book snobs. Boobies, dragons and violence.

Not as dreadful as last week, i'll give it a 5. Snakes/Team Rocket & Jaime lead up was an embarrassment. I did like the scene between Cersei and Thorns, mainly because it left Cersei feeling smug while showing how obliviously idiotic she is. "The dwarf lives until we can find a cock merchant!" Think I need to lower my expectations even further, season 5 really has been pure shite