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Moosicus

GOODKIND X: Lemmings of Discord

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Mad Moose, I'm starting to shake and hallucinate about Killer Gars flying down from the Sky to rip off Six's titties and make Richard and Kahlan wear them as hats....I NEED MY FIX! DADDY NEEDS HIS MEDICINE! QotD is the only thing that gets me through the first two hours of my waking days.

By the way, I'm wondering how many blows to the head with a small ball peen hammer is the equivalent of reading a 12 page Richard speech? Is it three, like a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop? More, or less?

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a puzzled frown creasing his brow between his eyes.

um, what freakish shape of head does he have? sounds like he's a Neanderthal! :o

QOTD: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

ye gads, that is an awful set up/situation/rape-fantasy utterly disgusting.

Sure, I've read worse in other books, but none of the other authors seemed to Relish it quite so much. :bawl:

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Awwwwww, yeeeeahhhhh....that's the stuff. The shakes have now stopped. So many great things about this passage:

"Tenderness would not cleave Richard’s soul with anguish. Tenderness would not hurt him."

I barely managed to not shit myself with laughter.

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Mad Moose, I'm starting to shake and hallucinate about Killer Gars flying down from the Sky to rip off Six's titties and make Richard and Kahlan wear them as hats....I NEED MY FIX! DADDY NEEDS HIS MEDICINE! QotD is the only thing that gets me through the first two hours of my waking days.

By the way, I'm wondering how many blows to the head with a small ball peen hammer is the equivalent of reading a 12 page Richard speech? Is it three, like a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop? More, or less?

Dr. Moose to the rescue. :lol:

I would say that a 12 page Richard speech is more comparable to having your head put in a large visegrip, slowly squeezing, while two big fat leather-clad S&M chicks repeatedly snap your bare ass-cheeks with wet towels, the whole time during which electric nipple-clamps deliver shocks at random intervals.

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I would say that a 12 page Richard speech is more comparable to having your head put in a large visegrip, slowly squeezing, while two big fat leather-clad S&M chicks repeatedly snap your bare ass-cheeks with wet towels, the whole time during which electric nipple-clamps deliver shocks at random intervals.

I think Goodkind is rubbing off on you, Moose.

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I think Goodkind is rubbing off on you, Moose.

Scary, no? Fortunately in a month I get to take a two week vacation. No Terry (BBNC), no QotD, just booze and sex. Should get me back to my normal self. I don't know what Vigo is gonna do during those two weeks though.

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I'll have to find some sort of TG-style Methadone, just to keep me sane. Maybe take up reading Ayn Rand, or the ball peen hammer to the head in the morning as a substitute.

Otherwise, I might have to bust into my roommate's SoT collection and start re-reading the whole series. I'd probably end up carving quotes from Naked Empire into my body, grow a Yeard, change my name to Richard Rahl...maybe buy a cat, shave and dress it up and call it Gratch. Strike some noble poses everywhere I go...maybe trying to give long-winded speeches at groups of homeless people, exhorting them to choose Life, and cease their lazy communist hippie ways. Maybe kick some little girls' asses....

You're going to be leaving your customers high and dry, Moose, and things of this nature will come to pass because of your selfish desire for "booze and sex". Richard Rahl might call you a brave individual for such an act, but there exists a collective centipede of people out there that depend on you.

That being said, enjoy your vacation

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Mad Moose, what a trooper you are. :thumbsup:

In a similar vein. only just visited the grrm website and seen this... "Either she doesn't read at all, or she's a Terry Goodkind fan, and you can move on and find someone else. It's well known, mixed marriages don't work" :rofl:

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His refusal stunned her. No man had ever refused her.

Not ever? Not one guy who had a girlfriend he wanted to be faithful to? Not a single one who was freaked by that creepy, dead-eyed stare (come on, you just know that pre-FotF Nicci has a creepy, dead-eyes stare)? And she's how old, again? Hundreds of years, wasn't it?

Well, that does it. All the men in TG's world are sluts, also. :P Not to mention not very bright - pre-FotF Nicci sounds like she'd wait until you were asleep after, and then dissect you and give your organs to poor people in need of transplants. On general principle.

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Good afternoon and welcome once again to the Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day. Sorry it’s later than usual but I had a dentist appointment this morning.

An dental appointment and QOTD all in one day?

MM. I don't know how you can stand such pain. We're not worthy!

:sick:

What. The. Hell. Everybody wants to screw Richard. Damn.

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Does anyone else now think Richard has a uni-brow? The entire time I was reading that passage I kept getting mental images of Bert's, from Bert and Ernie, uni-brow.

Is it possible Bert = Richart and Ernie = Kahlan?

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I demand that the next QotD be the little scene from Temple of the Winds that I've nicknamed "Kahlan is an unfaithful whore of a wife." It's the scene where she and Richard bring Drefan to his new quarters at the palace, and I'm sure Mad Moose will remember it incredibly detailed descriptions of Kahlan lusting after Drefan (yes, after she's been pinning over Richard for the entire series, and they're planning to get married soon).

I swear, the amount of description Goodkind puts into it--well, at least he's not sexist with his overdone nudity/suggested sex.

This emotion best sums up that scene, every Goodkind sex scene, every Goodkind violence/torture scene, and perhaps the entire series: :o

Oh yeah, I joined this site because I've been obsessively reading the Goodkind threads and had to partake in the experience more directly, though I'm also a Martin fan.

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Meph: If you're talking about the scene near the end where Richard and Kahlan have to enter the Temple of the Winds and have to have sex with other people to do so, that's not the scene I meant.

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Am I the only one that pictures Richards wizard outfit looking exactly like the one the Biker from the Village people - but with the cheeks cut out of the pants?

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Meph: If you're talking about the scene near the end where Richard and Kahlan have to enter the Temple of the Winds and have to have sex with other people to do so, that's not the scene I meant.

I think you'll have to wait for a while for your request, the Moose is on a well-deserved vacation. :D

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It's Friday morning (well, it is here anyway) so I think it's time for a bit of a sing-song. Here's the Cockney Pub Rock of Truth, with Khas 'n' Dick singing "Rabbit":

Rabbit x 20

You got a magical sword

You're a powerful lord

You got a fabulous yeard

You are feared

You're so handsome my dear

With your collection of ears

You got a lot without a doubt

But I'm thinking of blowing you out...

(Chorus)

Cos... you won't stop talking!

Why don't you give it a rest?

You got more rabbit than Sainsbury's

It's time you got it off your chest

Now you're just the kinda guy to break Jagang in two

I knew right off when I first set my eyes on you

But how was I to know you'd bend my earholes too?

With your incessant talking

You're becoming a pest

Rabbit x 20

Now you're a wonderful guy

You got talented eyes

You got artistic skill

You can kill

You got masculine legs

You make your enemies beg

Now I don't mind havin a chat

But you have to keep giving it that

(Chorus)

Cos... you won't stop talking!

Why don't you give it a rest?

You got more rabbit than Sainsbury's

It's time you got it off your chest

Now you're just the kinda guy to break Jagang in two

I knew right off when I first set my eyes on you

But how was I to know you'd bend my earholes too?

With your incessant talking

You're becoming a pest

Rabbit x 8

yap yap rabbit yap yap yap rabbit objectivism rabbit bunny jabber yap rabbit bunny yap yap life yap rabbit bunny jabber yap yap yap rabbit freedom bunny jabber yap yap bunny jabber rabbit

I'm also pleased to announce that I won Pat's copy of PHANTOM, and I can assure you that it''l be put to good use. ;)

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Well done Min on the competition win.

Yay! Another British-centric parody piece that the Americans won't get. I loved the Allo Allo parody too, good stuff :rofl:

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