Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Deadspin hit the Ravens on Why Your Team Sucks 2014 today and it's glorious: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-baltimore-ravens-1627040424 He lived with his parents until he got engaged, I believe, so I totally believe this. Joe Flacco... what a perfect Baltimore quarterback. Why do Ravens fans occasionally hate him? Because they are him. The fan story excerpts from this series are gold. Some absolute gems regarding Candlestick in all its stabby shithole glory at the end of the Niners entry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 These entries are great. I wish there was some way to also get the responses of the other fans that both don't get the nature of the whole thing and also vehemently protest the self-flagellating emails from the smarter fans. Something that starts off like "I saw your stupid feature saying my team sucks and its fans sucks, but I'm a fan, and I'm here to tell you YOUR WRONG!" They should jump all over that. I have to imagine they are getting an assload of those types of responses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mack Kilimaro Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 These entries are great. I wish there was some way to also get the responses of the other fans that both don't get the nature of the whole thing and also vehemently protest the self-flagellating emails from the smarter fans. Something that starts off like "I saw your stupid feature saying my team sucks and its fans sucks, but I'm a fan, and I'm here to tell you YOUR WRONG!" You get a little taste of that if you read the comments, although it's not quite the same as what you're talking about. Also, there are some really gross Deadspin comments because I think some shitweasels are able to hide in there amidst all of the ironic responses. I meant to send one in for the Ravens but I lost track of the days. Oops. Maybe next year! Football fans, present company excepted of course, are pretty much the worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Walker Texas Ranger Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Glory hole is Oklahoma oil man parlance for a well that gushes oil. The other interpretation is more fun though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.T.'s Sexual Healing Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Glory hole is Oklahoma oil man parlance for a well that gushes oil. The other interpretation is more fun though. Given the recent picks, I find your Putin like cover-up alarming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sperry Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I thought a well that gushed oil was a honey hole.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Lannister Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 But could you imagine if he won those games???? :dunno: The ESPN talking heads would burst into flames, which would be its own reward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Walker Texas Ranger Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I thought a well that gushed oil was a honey hole.... Maybe oil men developed some self awareness, but this is the industry that you this company that was acquired recently for more than 5 billion dollars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Josh Gordon will indeed be suspended for the year. More than three months after reports surfaced that the NFL was suspending Browns receiver Josh Gordon for a year for violating the substance abuse policy, the league upheld that suspension Tuesday. Doh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.T.'s Sexual Healing Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Josh Gordon will indeed be suspended for the year. Doh. He should have just hit his woman instead of his bong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awesome possum Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 Just kind of ridiculous. Brandon Meriweather, perhaps the most renown headhunter in the NFL, was suspended for two games for his sixth infraction. If he'd been caught with weed, though, man... off with his head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Arryn Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Can anyone explain to me the incredible delay with regards to Aldon Smith?His last incident was almost 3 months before Gordon's, and those charges were dropped. In fact everything was dropped or reduced to a misdemeanour, and he voluntarily sat out 6 games for the misdemeanour, and that took place the better part of a year ago.And yet here we are, a few days away from the final cut and the Niners won't even be able to use the suspension roster exemption if the league doesn't suddenly decide to decide in the next few days, meaning the Niners will probably lose a player to another team.It's seriously bizarre. Only guess is that the voluntary suspension he took last year, which Goodell said would be taken into account, is complicating things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trickster Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 He should have just hit his woman instead of his bong.Yep. Embarrassing fact, for a moment I read that as dong ;)Also just rescued the NFL thread from page 2. How the hell did you guys let this happen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Arryn Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Yep. Embarrassing fact, for a moment I read that as dong ;)Also just rescued the NFL thread from page 2. How the hell did you guys let this happen?The previous one wasn't locked, so I was assuming the discussion died in the wake of J8B's development. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.T.'s Sexual Healing Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Can anyone explain to me the incredible delay with regards to Aldon Smith?His last incident was almost 3 months before Gordon's, and those charges were dropped. In fact everything was dropped or reduced to a misdemeanour, and he voluntarily sat out 6 games for the misdemeanour, and that took place the better part of a year ago.And yet here we are, a few days away from the final cut and the Niners won't even be able to use the suspension roster exemption if the league doesn't suddenly decide to decide in the next few days, meaning the Niners will probably lose a player to another team.It's seriously bizarre. Only guess is that the voluntary suspension he took last year, which Goodell said would be taken into account, is complicating things. It's fucked up, and the Gordon situation was especially fucked up because the NFL knee capped the Brown's spring training and summer practices for next season too. I've got a gut feeling that if the Colt's owner isn't punished before the season, he won't be punished during the season, with the NFL hoping people generally forget about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mexal Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 It's fucked up, and the Gordon situation was especially fucked up because the NFL knee capped the Brown's spring training and summer practices for next season too. I've got a gut feeling that if the Colt's owner isn't punished before the season, he won't be punished during the season, with the NFL hoping people generally forget about it. I think he's able to apply for reinstatement after the season and I bet the NFL will grant it to him. I highly highly doubt he'll be out of OTAs next year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.T.'s Sexual Healing Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Let's be real. Josh Gordon is DONE in the NFL. With the drug policy, 1 more positive test and it's a career ban (and apparently this time could have been a career ban too), and the DWI will likely get him in the program Prater is in, where one beer will get him a year ban. The dude is fucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I'm glad Gordon has finally been suspended, but that's mostly because I fucking hate the Browns and hope their dumpster fire continues to burn for all of eternity. That said, I read the 'why your team sucks' thing for the Colts, and I was very disturbed at the opening picture for the piece. Disclaimer- Obviously I understand that this piece is a comedy, and it's poking very real holes in the fabric of the NFL. I actually quite liked what I read about the Ravens, Broncos, and Colts. It was funny, it was real. -Disclaimer But using the picture of a man tearing his ACL in a freak accident? A man who's generally known for being a very positive member of his community? That's not funny, that's fucked up. There's no relevant commentary to be made out of that picture, it's just capitalizing on someone's traumatic misfortune, and it's wrong. A picture of slobbering sky-giant Luck would have been hilarious and perfectly ok. Or any picture of Trent Richardson. Or Jim Fucking Irsay. I simply cannot understand why this picture of Reggie Wayne tearing his ACL was the one they chose to roll with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiddler Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 A few thoughts on the whole Josh Gordon incident. 1. I personally don't think the NFL should test for pot at all, let alone at their exacting standards, 15 nano whatevers as compared to the Olympics 150 nano whatevers (can't remember if it was nanograms or nano units). 2. Josh Gordon was fucking stupid for even being in a situation for testing positive especially given his history. He knows the rules and even if he doesn't agree with them, he still needs to avoid breaking them. 3. The Browns weren't "hampered" by the NFL waiting to suspend him. Its been around since before training camp that Josh was most likely going to get a year. At that point the Browns should have been preparing for the worst. 4. Roger Guidall should reduce the suspension, if Josh appeals, to 4-6 games depending on Josh and his compliance. At least thats what I would do. In the end the rule against marijuana usage is in the collective bargaining agreement. Players have signed agreement to those rules. Players know those rules. Players must adhere to those rules even if they don't like said rules. I think going forward the NFL really needs to look into throwing the pot testing out completly. It, IMO, would be benificial to the game and players if this was to happen. Pot has been shown medically to help reduce pain and would benifit players immensely. Not to mention it would keep players on the field playing a game that is not influenced by the use of pot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.T.'s Sexual Healing Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Fiddler, The NFL's standards are higher than for police officers of members of the military. That's just crazy. On a different note, are the Browns at least able to get a life coach for the kid? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.