Are you emotionally attached to these characters?

[ShadowCat Rivers]

Cat, Arya, Sansa and Tommen.

It's not necessarily identical to the characters I "like" the most, though; for examble, I like Arianne more than Sansa, but it stays on "intellectual" level, as the OP says, while for Sansa, I really care about her well being as if she was a beloved real person.

 

In the negative sense, Randyll Tarly is the one I despise as if he was real.

 

For all the other characters, it's basically as the OP described it.

[MakeWesterosGreatAgain]

Asha Greyjoy is a character I pretty much always root for and even during reading the kingsmoot I was invested in her pulling it out. Really glad Stannis didnt kill her.

 

I wouldn't really care about the Tyrell's but god watching cersei fail is so amazing. Slints beheading falls into the same category.

 

Im gonna be a sad man when Tommen bites the dust.

 

Also Selmy at this point I'm pretty invested in though I think I'll come to regret that.

[The Wolves]

As a whole I use to be more attached to the Starks and Targs.

But when innocent people are hurt or suffer greatly or unfairly that's when I get attached. Like the Smallfolk and the description of their suffering really gets to me, reading about that little girl Weasel gave me anxiety because everytime I turned the page I thought I would read about her murdered in some way.

Though with the time between the books and rereads I have grown rather indifferent to Westeros and have grown detached away from a lot of things like the Smallfolk and the North and the Starks and Targs.

[Taenqyrhae]

You didn't cry when Ole Yeller got shot?  What are you, a robot? 

 

I think there is something of a "golden mean" when it comes to empathizing with fictional characters, or at least a "silver range".  Excess in either direction, excess emotional attachment, and complete lack of empathy, is probably a sign of a possible problem. 

Nope, but I didn't see Ole Yeller until I was practically an adult.  I did cry when bad things happened to fictional characters when I was a child (I cried like crazy when the dragon found her dead babies in Dragonslayer), which is why I say it's a sign of mental illness OR immaturity.  Thinking and behavior that is totally normal for a child is sometimes abnormal for adults.

And there is a difference between being emotionally affected by a story and having an emotional attachment to the characters.  I've seen movies that made me feel sad, but that's different from having an emotional attachment to a particular character.

[Lady Sharya]

which is why I say it's a sign of mental illness OR immaturity.  Thinking and behavior that is totally normal for a child is sometimes abnormal for adults.

Somehow I doubt you are qualified to say this. You are misguided in your judgement.

I have an attachment to Arya's character because I can relate to her and know a few chidren that had her strong, stubborn spirit.:)

[Faydra]

The most plausible explanations for not being able to get emotionally attached are either bad writing or running through the books on the first read for more plot development. The latter is likelier with asoiaf and perhaps the only mistake I made in reading the series. I cheered at the Red Wedding and did not manage to sympathize with Ned before his death. And usually I'm not like that. For instance in Jacqueline's books I got heartbroken and felt that the story will have no meaning after [spoiler] Alcuin's and Anafiel's deaths[/spoiler]

 

I blame myself and the show for this. Had I found the books first I would not have hurried the tale like that. 

[Taenqyrhae]

Somehow I doubt you are qualified to say this. You are misguided in your judgement.

I have an attachment to Arya's character because I can relate to her and know a few chidren that had her strong, stubborn spirit. :)

So, would you be sad if you found out something bad happened to Arya?  Not read a sad scene involving her, but if someone you believed said "Arya gets raped and murdered in the next book" would it affect your emotional state?  I think she's an interesting character, and written well, but that wouldn't bother me at all, because this is fiction.

Example - I was made a little sad by reading the scene where the rape of the brewer's daughter was described.  It was well written, and it evoked well the misogyny that many men have.  My sadness came from having known rape victims and knowing that what was described happens every day to children across the world, but I did not have an emotional attachment to her character.  It didn't make me wish that something bad would happen to her rapists, I didn't feel relief that she was avenged when the Mountain was defeated.  That's how normal adults are emotionally affected by fiction.  People who get UPSET over things happening to characters they like, who daydream about meeting these people in real life, who get angry when other people say bad things about their favorite characters - they are all children or slightly insane.

[IMNHAAO]

So, would you be sad if you found out something bad happened to Arya?  Not read a sad scene involving her, but if someone you believed said "Arya gets raped and murdered in the next book" would it affect your emotional state?  I think she's an interesting character, and written well, but that wouldn't bother me at all, because this is fiction.

Example - I was made a little sad by reading the scene where the rape of the brewer's daughter was described.  It was well written, and it evoked well the misogyny that many men have.  My sadness came from having known rape victims and knowing that what was described happens every day to children across the world, but I did not have an emotional attachment to her character.  It didn't make me wish that something bad would happen to her rapists, I didn't feel relief that she was avenged when the Mountain was defeated.  That's how normal adults are emotionally affected by fiction.  People who get UPSET over things happening to characters they like, who daydream about meeting these people in real life, who get angry when other people say bad things about their favorite characters - they are all children or slightly insane.

I must be slightly insane then, because today I am reading the book I referred to in my first post and I felt like weeping when it described the death of my favourite character. I knew it was coming, but it didn't make it any easier. Have I been much more distressed by real deaths? Of course, but I still had an emotional response. I got attached to that maddening, stubborn, intelligent, arrogant, wonderful character, to know that her end was to mark the end of that whole world because of the death of its author made it so damn final and even sadder.

I find that empathy is basilar in life, if I cannot sympathize with character I think something is wrong with me (hence my question) so I come from a totally different perspective on this than you, I would not exaggerate as you do defining the lack of empathy a mental illness, but for sure a sign that one ha lost contact with that inner child that still rages against the realities of real life which I think is what keep us human instead of cold meat blobs.
 

[Taenqyrhae]

I think a strong empathy for unreal things is not healthy or normal, that is correct.  Empathy for living things is normal, not for words on a page.

One of the things that defines something as a mental illness or disorder as opposed to just being "different" on the spectrum of human behavior, is if the variation causes distress.  For instance, liking cats is not abnormal.  Liking cats so much that the 70 cats in your house make it reek of ammonia, cause you health problems, and isolate you from loved ones is.  Wanting to make sure that the door is locked is normal.  Locking, unlocking, and re-locking the door over and over again until you are late to appointments, or feeling a strong dread and feeling that something is wrong if you don't remember to lock the door 10 times is a problem.

Likewise, liking a fictional character is normal.  Liking a character so much that it makes you extremely emotionally upset when bad things happen to that imaginary character is a problem.

[Lady Sharya]

So, would you be sad if you found out something bad happened to Arya?  Not read a sad scene involving her, but if someone you believed said "Arya gets raped and murdered in the next book" would it affect your emotional state?  I think she's an interesting character, and written well, but that wouldn't bother me at all, because this is fiction.

I wouldn't grieve her death as though she were a person but yes, I would be sad if something bad happens to Arya. Much the same as sports fans are happy or upset at their team winning or loosing. Emotional attachment is a healthy ability, the opposite is not. Obsession is not healthy and neither is detachment.

Example - I was made a little sad by reading the scene where the rape of the brewer's daughter was described.  It was well written, and it evoked well the misogyny that many men have.  My sadness came from having known rape victims and knowing that what was described happens every day to children across the world, but I did not have an emotional attachment to her character.  It didn't make me wish that something bad would happen to her rapists, I didn't feel relief that she was avenged when the Mountain was defeated.

This isn't a very good example because the character isn't developed in the story. I felt no strong emotion from that scene either.

That's how normal adults are emotionally affected by fiction.  People who get UPSET over things happening to characters they like, who daydream about meeting these people in real life, who get angry when other people say bad things about their favorite characters - they are all children or slightly insane.

This sounds like a Scientology philosophy. If what you say is true, how do you explain the presence of storytelling throughout human history? Has it been a disfunctional device only enjoyed by children and unstable adults. That's simply not true. The entertainment of stories is prompted by an emotional relatedness to the characters conflict in the story. Without it there is little to propel the reader/watcher to continue the story or find any entertainment in it. I'm sorry stories have so little to offer you, but that doesn't make the rest of us immature of mentally unhealthy. Empathy is a positive affect, not a disorder.

[Colton Casados-Medve]

I think a strong empathy for unreal things is not healthy or normal, that is correct.  Empathy for living things is normal, not for words on a page.

One of the things that defines something as a mental illness or disorder as opposed to just being "different" on the spectrum of human behavior, is if the variation causes distress.  For instance, liking cats is not abnormal.  Liking cats so much that the 70 cats in your house make it reek of ammonia, cause you health problems, and isolate you from loved ones is.  Wanting to make sure that the door is locked is normal.  Locking, unlocking, and re-locking the door over and over again until you are late to appointments, or feeling a strong dread and feeling that something is wrong if you don't remember to lock the door 10 times is a problem.

Likewise, liking a fictional character is normal.  Liking a character so much that it makes you extremely emotionally upset when bad things happen to that imaginary character is a problem.

 

I'm sorry but this isn't true at all. There is nothing insane or immature about developing emotional attachments to fictional characters. The point of the story is escapism and to explore themes of human emotion and life in general. With works as expansive as ASOIAF, it is easy to want characters with whom you can relate to come out on top, to succeed, and to avoid wrong-doing. When this fails and they are the victims of something terrible, even if its just a story, it is completely normal to have an emotional response, and indeed it is quite human to do so. You invest your time and thought-energy into a story such as this so you want characters with whom you get to know intimately (because the author makes sure that we hear their thoughts) to triumph, but sometimes they don't. 

 

There is nothing abnormal, immature, or relating to "mental-illness" about crying over a scene like the Red Wedding, for instance. Personally I did not cry, for reasons that are my own, but I did walk away from that scene and that episode with a bad taste in my mouth. 

 

People have been crying over stories, poems, epics, and songs for thousands of years. People have been crying over movies for a century. Still Alice is a fictional story about a women who gets Alzheimer's and starts to forget her identity and I almost cried like baby watching it, does that make me insane or immature? No. Because I've known people with Alzheimer's or other illnesses that ruined their life and put great strain on their loved ones. The point of the film was to explore that theme and by doing so in a fictional setting allows us to briefly connect with the intended emotional responses whilst maintaining our ability to avoid long-term damage because it is just fiction at the end of the day, so no harm done. 

 

If you personally never feel the need to have your emotional state significantly effected by fictional works, whether it be a novel or a song or a poem, then that's just a personal issue about yourself. There's nothing wrong with it, and I'm not saying you are less in-tune with the human condition than other people, but that doesn't automatically make you not insane or not immature. 

 

Your examples of insanity are all far more extreme than people crying over fictional character deaths and wanting the story to go a way that avenges those characters. If someone moved to the woods, stared building a miniature replica of Winterfell, proclaimed themselves a Stark, and attacked anyone who approached them because they thought they were Boltons or something, that would classify as insanity. Being upset for a day because two of your favorite characters were betrayed and brutally murdered in vigorous detail in one of your favorite fantasy series is perfectly normal by any standard. 

 

To call it a sign of immaturity or insanity is a rude and condescending way to approach it. 

[Lady Sharya]

I think a strong empathy for unreal things is not healthy or normal, that is correct.  Empathy for living things is normal, not for words on a page.
One of the things that defines something as a mental illness or disorder as opposed to just being "different" on the spectrum of human behavior, is if the variation causes distress.  For instance, liking cats is not abnormal.  Liking cats so much that the 70 cats in your house make it reek of ammonia, cause you health problems, and isolate you from loved ones is.  Wanting to make sure that the door is locked is normal.  Locking, unlocking, and re-locking the door over and over again until you are late to appointments, or feeling a strong dread and feeling that something is wrong if you don't remember to lock the door 10 times is a problem.
Likewise, liking a fictional character is normal.  Liking a character so much that it makes you extremely emotionally upset when bad things happen to that imaginary character is a problem.

You are very much mistaken. The only thing that brings a behavior into a psych category as a disorder or disease is the degree in which the behavior interferes with normal life. You are confusing the emotional reactions (distress) to a movie or a book with life reactions of distress. There is a volume of difference between the two which tells me you have no clue what you are talking about. Again, sorry for your loss but don't put your problems on others.;)

[Taenqyrhae]

If your emotional attachment to a character is causing you distress in real life, that is a disorder.  There are people here who said they cried for days over things that happened to fictional characters.  People who said they punched a hole in a wall after they read the Red Wedding.  People who get angry to the point they start cursing and hurling insults because somebody said that their favorite character is not that awesome.  That qualifies as interfering with normal life.

Feeling sad after reading a sad book, or watching a sad movie, or hearing a sad song is normal.  A particularly powerful work might have you feeling blue.  But though I cried at "Life is Beautiful" and kept thinking about the movie and feeling sad about it for the next couple of days, I had no attachment to any of the characters.  If I became obsessed with the little boy character, and then read that there was a sequel where right after he is rescued from the camp he gets killed horribly, I'd think "Wow, that's kind of messed up" but I would not feel the same as if a real child I knew was killed, or anything like that.  

We are posting in a community of fans for a book series that includes people who have been here for years, writing their own stories about the alternate love lives of these characters, arguing over who should be king, etc.  This is not a typical sampling of the population.  Ask a hundred random people if it's normal to cry over words on a page or to get angry at real people over what is said about fictional people, and you'd see that this is abnormal.  The thing about the internet, abnormal people can all get together and tell each other they are normal.  They get isolated in an echo chamber of similar minds and can become distanced from normal human behavior.

[JonCon's Red Beard]

You don't need to be a hardcore fan of anything to cry. Many people goes and see a movie they never knew about, feel an emotional attachment, cry and even feel disturbed by it for a while. It's not "normal" but it's not unusual.

[IMNHAAO]

If your emotional attachment to a character is causing you distress in real life, that is a disorder.  There are people here who said they cried for days over things that happened to fictional characters.  People who said they punched a hole in a wall after they read the Red Wedding.  People who get angry to the point they start cursing and hurling insults because somebody said that their favorite character is not that awesome.  That qualifies as interfering with normal life.

Feeling sad after reading a sad book, or watching a sad movie, or hearing a sad song is normal.  A particularly powerful work might have you feeling blue.  But though I cried at "Life is Beautiful" and kept thinking about the movie and feeling sad about it for the next couple of days, I had no attachment to any of the characters.  If I became obsessed with the little boy character, and then read that there was a sequel where right after he is rescued from the camp he gets killed horribly, I'd think "Wow, that's kind of messed up" but I would not feel the same as if a real child I knew was killed, or anything like that.  

We are posting in a community of fans for a book series that includes people who have been here for years, writing their own stories about the alternate love lives of these characters, arguing over who should be king, etc.  This is not a typical sampling of the population.  Ask a hundred random people if it's normal to cry over words on a page or to get angry at real people over what is said about fictional people, and you'd see that this is abnormal.  The thing about the internet, abnormal people can all get together and tell each other they are normal.  They get isolated in an echo chamber of similar minds and can become distanced from normal human behavior.

I believe that you are using the definition in a way which would maybe be proper  a "medical environment". In a psychiatric examination my need to go and check I have actually closed the door and set the alarm would be considered a mild sign of obsessive-compulsive behaviour (I am not an expert so feel free to correct my possible misuse of the terminology), if such a mania were to really interfere with my life so that I, for example, couldn't sleep because I have not checked the door a second time then the "mild" might be upgraded to a more serious condition.

I believe no human being would get out a close examination of his or hers normal habits without some sort of psych diagnosis. We do not have wards full of such people because some tendency to be more or less emotional, aphasia, anxious behaviours when mild are not, I believe, considered pathological and the people affected would not be given such a label with the same ease you do.
Mental illness is a very delicate subject, please let's try not to throw around mental-health diagnosis as if they were candy when we obviously have no idea whom our interlocutor or possible reader is.

[Nymeria's pack]

I do feel emotionally connected to some of the characters. Some I just find interesting but have no emotional connection to. Tyrion and Bran are interesting but I don't have any emotional connection to them.  I feel attached to all the other Starks, and even to the direwolves.  I found it sad when Ghost/Jon was reflecting on how they were all scattered, and his sister was gone. I care about Brienne and Davos and I was anxious when I thought they were going to die. I am attached to Sam.
This doesn't mean I am obsessed. I read (and watch the show) for entertainment.  I am not entertained if I couldn't care less about the characters. People are different. Some people can enjoy fiction from a purely cerebral standpoint, others like me need an emotional as well as an intellectual interest, it doesn't make us abnormal.

[Rickyhunt]

Yes I am very attached to characters I like

I hated when Ned Stark died also Khal drogo Oberyn and the Hound (though I do believe the hound is gravedigger so he isn't really dead) I didn't like Jon Snow getting stabbed and I don't think I will continue to read if he stays dead

I also was shocked by barristans death on the show I teared up a bit

I also hate characters just as much loved Joffrey dying and Gregor dying from oberyn spear and poison and I hope Ramsay suffers a cruel death

[MakeWesterosGreatAgain]

I think there's a difference between emotionally attached to a character and placing a certain value on the characters role in the story.

 

Jon for example, if he's actually dead I'd be a lot less interested in the show, not because I am emotionally attached to him, but I just don't see how the story continues without him in a way that would be worth my while.

[Raving Stark the Mad]

If your emotional attachment to a character is causing you distress in real life, that is a disorder.  There are people here who said they cried for days over things that happened to fictional characters.  People who said they punched a hole in a wall after they read the Red Wedding.  People who get angry to the point they start cursing and hurling insults because somebody said that their favorite character is not that awesome.  

We are posting in a community of fans for a book series that includes people who have been here for years, writing their own stories about the alternate love lives of these characters, arguing over who should be king, etc.  This is not a typical sampling of the population.  Ask a hundred random people if it's normal to cry over words on a page or to get angry at real people over what is said about fictional people, and you'd see that this is abnormal.  The thing about the internet, abnormal people can all get together and tell each other they are normal.  They get isolated in an echo chamber of similar minds and can become distanced from normal human behavior.

 

Hmmm.  So your strategy is to go into this echo chamber, where all the abnormal people congregate, and tell them that they all have mental disorders? 

 

:uhoh:

 

How did you think that was going to play out?  That's like an atheist running into a church to tell everybody that they're delusional. 

[Taenqyrhae]

 

Hmmm.  So your strategy is to go into this echo chamber, where all the abnormal people congregate, and tell them that they all have mental disorders? 

 

:uhoh:

 

How did you think that was going to play out?  That's like an atheist running into a church to tell everybody that they're delusional. 

Hoped to find out which ones are not crazy.  :)

I've protested hereditary religion in front of a church, so I'm pretty used to telling the local majority they are crazy.