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NFL 2017 Preaseason: Zeke the Freak to Sit 6 Weeks


Manhole Eunuchsbane

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19 minutes ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said:

SPICY AND THE MOOCH, bringing you surprisingly measured and insightful takes during the preseason. BUT ONCE THE REAL ACTION STARTS, YOU'D BETTER STRAP IN SALLY, CAUSE SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL! SPICY AND THE MOOCH ALL IN YOUR FACE 4pm-7 Monday through Friday on 740 The Score, your Indianapolis Colts Flagship.

SPICEY AND THE MOOCH: Good takes, HOT DELIVERY!!!

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I logged in this morning just to see a new hot take from Spicey and the Mooch, but its all just the same stuff I saw before I went to bed.   Kinda bummed out.

8 hours ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said:

 Nah, I'm not a playa I just crush a lot.

Don't hate the playa... hate the game.

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4 hours ago, Rhom said:

I logged in this morning just to see a new hot take from Spicey and the Mooch, but its all just the same stuff I saw before I went to bed.   Kinda bummed out.

Don't hate the playa... hate the game.

Nothing up at 10 AM? WELCOME TO THE WEST COAST, JACKASS!!!!

SPICEY here with your I'll Get to it In A Minute update.

Leonard Fortunette hurt his itty bitty footsie this weekend while his team got emotionally humped and dumped in Foxboro by a team that had so little concern about their on-field 'capabilities' that Tom Brady was seen on the sideline practicing for the Dance Dance Revolution tournament he was taking his kids to at Dave and Busters after the game.

Fortunette, on a team that wants to play JAGUARS FOOTBALL, figures to be the go-to guy ahead of the poached egg that is Chris Ivory and the clueless wonder that is T.J. Yeldon on a team that made 18 pass attempts in a week 1 preseason game. That's not just Blaine The Shame Train Gabbert's statline, that's the team line.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Fortunnette isn't worth a top 30 pick or more than 15 monies, but if he's on the waiver wire the week the Jags play the Colts, sell your soul, sell your house, sell yo mo'fuckin kids to get that broke-ass-footted man on your roster because he's due for 150 yards minumum and about 3 TD's.

Until the next hit, remember to stay SPICEY!!!!

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3 minutes ago, Kalbear said:

They're Spicy and the Mooch
Yes, Spicy and the Mooch

One is a dumbass, the other's a douche

They're failed Trump press corps

Their schtick is a bore

They're pricy, they're Spicy and the mooch mooch mooch mooch mooch

 GODAMMIT, I LIKE IT! Have your people call my people. We'll do that lunch thing. I see big things for you in this biz kid, big things.

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9 minutes ago, Kalbear said:

They're Spicy and the Mooch
Yes, Spicy and the Mooch

One is a dumbass, the other's a douche

They'll rebuild their failed career

While vomiting cheap beer

They're pricy, they're Spicy and the mooch mooch mooch mooch mooch

I was trying to insert appropriate bumper music into my SPICY AND THE MOOCH promos, but these are leagues better than anything I could come up with.

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4 hours ago, Pony Queen Jace said:

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Fortunnette isn't worth a top 30 pick or more than 15 monies, but if he's on the waiver wire the week the Jags play the Colts, sell your soul, sell your house, sell yo mo'fuckin kids to get that broke-ass-footted man on your roster because he's due for 150 yards minumum and about 3 TD's.

Until the next hit, remember to stay SPICEY!!!!

 SPICY AND THE MOOCH DELIVERING TAKES THAT WILL KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD, 9 MONTHS AFTER YOU DIE YOUR WIFE WILL GIVE BIRTH TO OUR FEET! SPICY AND THE MOOCH MORNING DRIVETIME ON WFAN Monday-Fridays...

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7 hours ago, Pony Queen Jace said:

Nothing up at 10 AM? WELCOME TO THE WEST COAST, JACKASS!!!!

SPICEY here with your I'll Get to it In A Minute update.

< snip >

Until the next hit, remember to stay SPICEY!!!!

 

3 hours ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said:

 SPICY AND THE MOOCH DELIVERING TAKES THAT WILL KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD, 9 MONTHS AFTER YOU DIE YOUR WIFE WILL GIVE BIRTH TO OUR FEET! SPICY AND THE MOOCH MORNING DRIVETIME ON WFAN Monday-Fridays...

Morning drive time on the Left Coast is 10 AM Real Time Spicey!!!  Don't let that weak shit happen again.

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12 minutes ago, Rhom said:

Morning drive time on the Left Coast is 10 AM Real Time Spicey!!!  Don't let that weak shit happen again.

That may be, but if you've been paying attention SPICY AND THE MOOCH can't keep a job for shit. No guarantee that they will still be on WFAN by this time tomorrow.

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On 8/13/2017 at 7:30 PM, Pony Queen Jace said:

SPICEY AND THE MOOCH: Good takes, HOT DELIVERY!!!

Hey Spicey and the Mooch,

Long time listener, first time caller, I love what you guys do. You're the best thing going in fake football news these days.

I've got three questions for you. First, which top ten projected fantasy pick do you think will be a bust this year? Personally I think David Johnson is going to be this year's Todd Gurley. Second, what do you think Andrew Luck's value will be? Some sources are saying that his right arm might have to be amputated, which would be a bold move. Last, do you think Manhole's highest level of dancing is drunken white guy swaying at a jam band music festival?

I'll take your answers off the air.

SKOL!!! 

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40 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Hey Spicey and the Mooch,

Long time listener, first time caller, I love what you guys do. You're the best thing going in fake football news these days.

I've got three questions for you. First, which top ten projected fantasy pick do you think will be a bust this year? Personally I think David Johnson is going to be this year's Todd Gurley. Second, what do you think Andrew Luck's value will be? Some sources are saying that his right arm might have to be amputated, which would be a bold move. Last, do you think Manhole's highest level of dancing is drunken white guy swaying at a jam band music festival?

I'll take your answers off the air.

SKOL!!! 

Dammit... I had the exact "Long time, first time" schtick I was going to do this morning; but got involved and couldn't do it then and just logged on to do it now.  :tantrum:  Curse you Tywin and others!!!!!!  Curse you!

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1 hour ago, Tywin et al. said:

Hey Spicey and the Mooch,

Long time listener, first time caller, I love what you guys do. You're the best thing going in fake football news these days.

I've got three questions for you. First, which top ten projected fantasy pick do you think will be a bust this year? Personally I think David Johnson is going to be this year's Todd Gurley. Second, what do you think Andrew Luck's value will be? Some sources are saying that his right arm might have to be amputated, which would be a bold move. Last, do you think Manhole's highest level of dancing is drunken white guy swaying at a jam band music festival?

I'll take your answers off the air.

SKOL!!! 

Ah Christ, that's all we need. Another degenerate Vikes fan calling the show. You're questioning DJ as a consensus #1 pick across just about any format? Riddle me this Einstein, is there a Vikings player you could take before round 7 that wouldn't get you laughed out of your fucking draft? If you have the #1 pick in your draft and you don't take DJ I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SLAP A FUCKING HELLO KITTY STICKER ON YOUR DELICATE FOREHEAD, NANCY! Likeliest bust among the current top #10? I'd say Jordan Howard. Despite being a huge talent, I think that offense is going to stink on ice.

 I'll leave the 2nd question to my esteemed colleague, SPICY, AKA PONY QUEEN JACE.

To the last, Manhole has been known to do the Wop, and he's also known for the Flinstone Flop. If you're going to challenge him to a Dance Battle, you'd best bring your A Game, or you're doomed as a bag of beef anuses addressed to Chef  Boy-Ar-Dee.

 MOOCH OUT!

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3 minutes ago, Manhole Eunuchsbane said:

I do like Diggs, but I bet you can get him in the 7th more often than not. Maybe 6th. Fair point in any case.

His value comes from the fact that Bradford is ALWAYS looking for him. He was going nuts in the games he wasn't hurt (which was a lot, and that was the knock on him coming out of school). Funnily enough, the Vikings took a WR in the 7th round who is nearly identical to Diggs, and he looked awesome last week. 

Also, Cook could go before the 7th round if there's a crazy run on RBs, though his value is a lot greater in PPR leagues (god knows nobody is going to do well running behind our terrible line). 

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