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Woman of War

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That's not exactly true. Tyrion liked the Septon mentoring the Targ boy and by all accounts they both got on pretty well.

Doesn't he also make the comment that he doesn't want to know her he just wants to fuck her-because she is a good looking woman. So yes, he makes her into another vulgar sexual joke.

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"How did you sleep?"

"Fitfully, good lady. I dreamed of you again." A waking dream. He could not sleep, so he had eased a hand between his legs and imagined the septa atop him, breasts bouncing.

***

The dwarf watched Lemore slip into the water. The sight always made him hard. There was something wonderfully wicked about the thought of peeling the septa out of those chaste white robes and spreading her legs.

***

Like everyone else aboard the Shy Maid, she had her secrets. She was welcome to them. I do not want to know her, I only want to fuck her.

***

Haldon took note of her change of garb as well. "What are we to make of this sudden loss of faith? I preferred you in your septa's robes, Lemore."

"I preferred her naked," said Tyrion.

***

Tyrion on Dany:

"They say her lust cannot be sated, that she mates with me, women, eunuchs, even dogs and children, and woe betide the lover who fails to satisfy her. She gives her body to men to take their souls in thrall.

Oh, good, thought Tyrion. If she gives her body to me, she is welcome to my soul, small and stunted though it is.

***

Tyrion at his finest, with his redheaded whore:

"Will you give me your name? No? I suppose I shall settle for your cunt. Have you ever bedded a monster before? Now's as good a time as any. Out of your clothes and onto your back, if it please you. Or not."

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I should start a sex advice blog on Tumblr under Tyrion Lannister's name. When I get a question about how to end a relationship, I can advise getting the local Army base involved. When I get a question about how to tell a woman I like her, I can suggest dispensing with the preliminaries and having her dragged to the altar by guardsmen.

I could actually have a great deal of fun writing a sex advice blog under sweet, dear Tyrion's name if I keep it in character.

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I should start a sex advice blog on Tumblr under Tyrion Lannister's name. When I get a question about how to end a relationship, I can advise getting the local Army base involved. When I get a question about how to tell a woman I like her, I can suggest dispensing with the preliminaries and having her dragged to the altar by guardsmen.

I could actually have a great deal of fun writing a sex advice blog under sweet, dear Tyrion's name if I keep it in character.

:lmao: Even better, start it on twitter. Tyrion's unique ability to distill a woman's essence down to her vagina is perfectly suited for 140 characters.

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