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The smallest moments that are hilarious


Florina Laufeyson

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I think it's the metaphorical bacon he's talking about. "I see a bright future ahead of us." or "I smell bacon," as one might put it.

But imagining Robert just shouting it out because he actually smelled bacon makes it quite hilarious.

I dunno. I think he really did smell bacon. They eat bacon in the next paragraph after it "fast forwards" past Robert rambling on.

I honestly didn't even notice the bacon line before this thread but now I'm cracking up.

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I dunno. I think he really did smell bacon. They eat bacon in the next paragraph after it "fast forwards" past Robert rambling on.

I honestly didn't even notice the bacon line before this thread but now I'm cracking up.

Did anyone notice in ADWD when before the Sorrows, YG wakes up walks on deck and says "I smell bacon" Septa Lamore was making bacon, but still I can't help seeing that as some sort of weird forshadowing. As to what I don't know. I have a few theories but most are crackpot.

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I have to admit I didn't read all the way through so if someone else mentioned this forgive me. In Mystery Knight:


"One-and-twenty sorts of birds," said Ser Kyle.

"One-and-twenty sorts of bird droppings," said Ser Maynard.

"You have no poetry in your heart, ser."

"You have shit upon your shoulder."

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"Why would Petyr lie to me?"


"Why does a bear shit in the woods?"



"My brother has had a hundred whores. I only ever had one" (Jaime)



And obviously anything Dolorous Edd says.



Oh and in the show, when Ramsay holds the sausage in front of Theon - "Nooo... Pork sausage"


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Just finished all 34 pages of this thing... best time ever spent.



My two are from Edd



"We'll defend the Wall to the last man," said Cotter Pyke.


"Probably me," said Dolorous Edd, in a resigned tone.



and



"Never trust a cook, my lord. They'll prune you when you least expect it"


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Just one more Plummism:


Ser Maynard glanced toward the dais, where the bride was feeding cherries to her husband.

“His Lordship will not be the first to butter that biscuit. His bride was deflowered by a scullion at the Twins, they say. She would creep down to the kitchens to meet him. Alas, one night that little brother of hers crept down after her. When he saw them making the two-backed beast, he let out a shriek, and cooks and guardsmen came running and found milady and her pot boy coupling on the slab of marble where the cook rolls out the dough, both naked as their name day and floured up from head to heel.”

Just picturing a toddler Walder pointing and screaming makes me laugh.

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Tyrion right after signing up as a brother of the Second Sons.




Tyrion hopped down from the stool. "My previous brother was entirely unsatisfactory. I hope for more from my new ones. Now how do I go about securing arms and armor?"



"Will you want a pig to ride as well?" asked Kasporio.


"Why, I did not know your wife was in the company," said Tyrion. "That's kind of you to offer her, but I would prefer a horse."


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