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The smallest moments that are hilarious


Florina Laufeyson

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Plus Dany's thoughts about some of them. And her wearing floppy ears internal monologues. I mean, I'm a Dany fan but boy until then she had no sense of humour! What bad has happened to her anyway, to make her so downcast ;)

Don't say she has no sense of humor. The choice comments she gives Yunkai sellswords are hilarious!

“The Stormcrows do not stand alone,” said Prendahl.

“Stormcrows do not stand at all. They fly, at the first sign of thunder."

“Woman, you bray like an ass, and make no more sense.”

“Woman?” She chuckled. “Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man.”

“What say you take those clothes off and come sit on my lap? If you please me, I might bring the Second Sons over to your side.”

“If you bring the Second Sons over to my side, I might not have you gelded.”The big man laughed. “Little girl, another woman once tried to geld me with her teeth. She has no teeth now, but my

sword is as long and thick as ever. Shall I take it out and show you?”

“No need. After my eunuchs cut it off, I can examine it at my leisure.”

“The Second Sons have faced worse odds and won.”

“The Second Sons have faced worse odds and run."

Plenty of it see!! :lol:

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When Illyrio calls Tyrion his "little friend" a few times, until Tyrion responds by calling him "My fat friend" in return.

Yeah, and in the conversation with Moquorro when the priest says, "We are small creatures, men", Tyrion answers "Some smaller than others." Love Tyrion's POVs, he can be so positive.

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Oberyn telling Tyrion he always drinks wine before battle.

Actually, in the era before guns it was standard practice to drink before battle. The idea was to drink enough to lower your inhibitions and give you courage so that you'd fight more fiercely, but not so much that you'd lose coordination.

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"Place was overrun with rats when we moved in. The spearwives killed the nasty buggers. Now the place is overrun with spearwives. There's days I want the rats back."

The armorer laughed. Ser Wynton, gods preserve him. Last knight in the castle and all. The thing is, Stout seems to have forgotten and no ones been rushing to remind him. I suppose Im as much a commander as we have now. The meanest of the cripples.

That was for the good, at least. The one-armed armorer was hard headed, tough, and well seasoned in war. Ser Wynton Stout, on the other hand . . . well, he had been a good man once, everyone agreed, but he had been eighty years a ranger, and both strength and wits were gone. Once hed fallen asleep at supper and almost drowned in a bowl of pea soup.

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I was just re-reading ACoK and came across this:

If he is cowed he hides it well. Catelyn thought. "A man chained hand and foot should keep a more courteous tongue in his mouth ser, and I did not come here to be threatened."

"No? Then surely it was to have your pleasure of me? It is said widows grow weary of an empty bed. We of the Kingsguard vow never to wed, but I suppose I could service you if that's what you need. Pour us some wine and slip out of that gown and we'll see if I'm up to it."

I was reading this in the car and it made me laugh. (although Catelyn wasn't laughing haha)

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Gendry was in no mood to hear it. "Quiet, both of you, I need to think what to do." He always looked pained when he tried to think, like it hurt him something fierce.

:D

:laugh: I love that guy so much!

I just remembered lauging about this in ASOS: Varys to Tyrion

"You can match the queen coin for coin, I have no doubt, but she has a second purse that is quite inexhaustible."

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"Strong Belwas needs milk." - Strong Belwas



"I will see you dead, old woman." - Cersei



"We'll see how sweet a corpse you make." - Cersei



She imagined how sweet it would be to slam an elbow into Septa Scolera's face and send her careening down the spiral steps. If the gods were good, the wrinkled old cunt might crashinto Septa Unella and take her down with her. "It is good to see you smiling again," Scolera said. - Cersei :lol:



"But one day I will have your tongue ripped out with hot pincers, and that will be hilarious." - Cersei



...



Catelyn noticing none of the Manderlys have clothes without food stains.

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I love Balerion the cat:



“‘That’s the real king of this castle right there … Older than sin and twice as mean. One time, the king was feasting the queen’s father, and that black bastard hopped up on the table and snatched a roast quail right out of Lord Tywin’s fingers. Robert laughed so hard he like to burst. You stay away from that one, child.’”
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