Mental and Physical Health

[Guest Raidne]

To me, and this is a totally unprofessional, superficial impression, it looks like it could be that your impending launch into "the real world" and all it's challenges could be triggering your memories of your Dad's projection of all his feelings of inadequacy onto you.

Two ways to deal with this: realize that it is not you - that was him. Nothing he said about you is correct. Nothing. Really. Two - figure out what it takes to make you feel confident and self-assured and do/get those things.

Consider eye-movement therapy to cut the biological panic response. VA's research division has seen great results. This is where it matters if it's GAD or PTSD because if it's PTSD, traditional cognitive/behavioral therapy is probably not going to be very effective and eye movement therapy should be, and vice versa. That is my own opinion.

I completely understand your apprehension regarding your mother's visit. Figure out what seeing her makes you feel. For me, it's being shoved back into the box of thst person that I am not.

Lastly, do consider being careful what you say here openly if you're going to disagree with people elsewhere on the board. Turns out there are people who have tracked and memorized my mental health history here just so they can throw it back at me when I upset them, including taunting me about my difficulties with my relationships with women due to my mother, fear that I will turn out to be like her, etc. It's as creepy and harmful as it sounds, so I can't recommend being active in other threads and sharing things openly here vs. a mental health forum.

[deleted01]

Totally agree with most of what you've said there, and I thank you wholeheartedly for your advice and thoughts. It makes me sad that the troubles someone is going through and share on here might be used against them. I'm going to hope and trust that that won't happen, and that you can see through it. I'm not jumping into anything here - it's nowhere near my business and I strongly feel that everyone should be able to share things here and get help/advice should they ask for it.

I know we don't know each other personally or very well on here, and I may not be able to offer much, but I'm happy for you to PM me should you ever need to. That goes for everyone tbh. I've found for every arsehole here, there are 5 good decent people, and I can't say how much that helps me.

As for today, I had a better day. I got a fair amount of work done and managed to keep a calm head about it all. Tomorrow will be another day of doing uni work from home, and calling the doctors.

[Guest Raidne]

Check out Self-Therapy by Jay Earley, PhD? It's no substitute for personal therapy with a professional but it teaches really helpful self-calming techniques that are rooted in understanding of the self. I haven't finished yet, but it's self-empowered approach improves my sense of well-being whenever I read it.

And I appreciate the offer - a lot - but I don't want to risk triggering anything for you since our symptoms are so similar. I still don't know if opening all my repressed things up in therapy was ultimately a good idea or not.

[deleted01]

The earliest appointment with my GP is next bloody Monday, but I'm going to call up tomorrow morning and see if I can get an earlier one. I'm struggling to just get on with things like I used to, and I feel like I'm jeopardising my future by fucking around with and avoiding going to uni.

I'll check that out, thanks again Raidne. And no worries, I totally get that.

[Weeping Sore]

The earliest appointment with my GP is next bloody Monday, but I'm going to call up tomorrow morning and see if I can get an earlier one. I'm struggling to just get on with things like I used to, and I feel like I'm jeopardising my future by fucking around with and avoiding going to uni.

I'll check that out, thanks again Raidne. And no worries, I totally get that.

If you believe you might have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, someone close to me found The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step by Step Program by William J Knaus to be very helpful.

Focuses on re-directing and consciously critiquing thought patterns that trigger anxiety. Also, building tolerance for mental discomfort during an anxiety attack, and strategies for not pre-experiencing and re-experiencing anxiety. Example: "When I go to meet people tonight, I will probably feel anxious. I will tolerate it then, and then it will be over. But I will not feel anxious about it now because it's not happening now."

[Guest Raidne]

Also, I know I think everyone has ADD, but the list thing is a symptom, and anxiety, and some of your other symptoms. I have ADD (inattentive type) + complex PTSD. So maybe get evaluated for that? Just because - if that IS part of it - the meds will help you choose a course of action and pursue it right away since they don't require any buildup and are immediately effective.

Your university should offer mental health services?

[Guest Raidne]

(And I wish Nukelvee was still here - I didn't even know I was having panic attacks until he described them.)

[deleted01]

Thanks Weeping Sore, sounds very useful :)

I'll certainly mention it to my doctor Raidne, when I eventually see them. I can't say I've seen evidence of any mental health services at my university, but seeing as I've had little academic support, my hopes for emotional support are not high. I'll have another look though.

[Guest Raidne]

They almost all do because of potential liability for the number of suicides and suicide attempts on campus. Could be different outside the US? I forgot that you use IOM diagnostic codes and not the DSM, so names of diagnoses could be different too. You are outside the US, right?

[deleted01]

Yes, in the UK. I found that you were indeed right, there are counselling services with the on-campus doctor. I'm not registered with them, but it's worth having a chat with them.

I'm also looking into getting back into martial arts. It'd be a big step if I could join a club, silly as that may sound, but I'm hoping someone will go with me for support. I'm also pushing myself to join a society at uni. I really don't want to miss out on stuff because of this.

[Sci-2]

MedicationMeditation Is An Unwinnable Game About The Rituals Of Mental Illness

Kara Stone has been through anxiety and depression, but it wasn’t until she had a real bad dip about a year-and-a-half ago that she started taking medication. These days, Kara is planting seeds in discarded antidepressant bottles, and she’s not long made her first game about her personal experience with taking medication called MedicationMeditation as part of the Dames Making Games program.

[Eponine]

I started taking Abilify on top of a second try for Lexapro (I was on it years ago during a mis-diagnosis). It's been really hard to tell what's happening, because after few weeks on the Lexapro, I couldn't tell if it was working or not because something new that was objectively extremely traumatic happened. I couldn't get anything done, I had no motivation, so the psychiatrist added Abilify because it was becoming a real problem. (Despite the anxiety/stress, it hasn't been a problem that affected my "real life" until then - i.e. I was making good grades, being on time for work, etc.)

Being on the Abilify is like being on speed. I'm not going to take it very long, it was just temporary. BUT, it's also been really hard to tell what's happening, because a lot of objectively positive stuff started happening about a week after being on the Abilify. (Both the positive and negative were objectively well beyond normal every-day ups and downs, FWIW.) And I started thinking that maybe I FEEL manic because I'd forgotten what it was like to feel normal, but actually the way things have been the last week are pretty much the way I used to be, the last time I remember having very low stress.

[Sci-2]

Are we in the midst of an anxiety epidemic?

I recall a friend telling me how many parents he knew taking non-prescribed anxiety medication. Obviously not data but curious if other people know about widespread use of such drugs.

I know a ton of people who use Xanax, for example.

Anxiety has without question become a fixture of modern life. Reported levels of anxiety have been on the rise since the end of World War II, and there is evidence that anxiety disorders now constitute the most prevalent mental health problems worldwide. And there very well may be something to modern life that’s causing anxiety — or the impression of it — to reach epidemic proportions.

Indeed, studies show (at least in the UK) that, from 1998 to 2008, diagnoses among general practitioners have fallen, but that anxiety symptoms have increased. It's quite possible that GPs are reluctant, for whatever reason, to label people with anxiety disorders.

[Kat]

I need some advice on setting boundaries with a friend. My best friend, who I've known since we were 5, has a lot of mental and physical health issues that became appparent during high school...she has always been a very high achiever but things started to go weird for her in college. Apparently she was diagnosed with a learning disability at some point late in high school or college that she had overcompensated for by spending massive amounts of time on school work. Didn't have many friends in high school--I went to another school and most of her friends were my friends. She had to take a leave of absence during college because of an incident that was caused by drinking while on antidepressants. It kind of seems like strange events follow heer; she also at one point got a concussion and her roommate didn't notice for several days. She eventually graduated with a BS and an MS but in the middle of the recession and couldn't find a job. She's also had various eating disorders. She was working a string of short-term jobs and internships like many underemployed people my age, but none of them really stuck because she's kind of hard to be around, being extremely extroverted but also probably better suited skill-wise for technical work. She was living with her parents, who are both doctors- I think this has led to being diagnosed with too many things.

A few years ago, her parents and her decided that in order to treat something (depression maybe, I'm not exactly sure) she would go to one of these wilderness therapy programs...I think her parents kind of wanted her out of their hair. Well now it's 3 years later and she's been in programs in 5 different states at least and wants to move back home again and get a job, but she's got this long gap in her resume and now has some pretty weird physical symptoms like extreme pain (that she says is the kind of thing she used to think people were just lying/exaggerating about), inability to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time without 5-hour energy drink, and more. She had been working for a startup (without getting paid) pulling crazy hours (while not getting paid) because she wants something on her resume that doesn't look too short, but in the last few weeks her physical symptoms have been getting too much, to the point where she had driven across the state for a conference but can't drive back again, and she's staying at her parents' house while they are out of town.

Anyway, I'm her only friend around right now. I think she has driven away most of her other friends with general neediness and being kind of weird, and replaced those friendships with dating awful people. The problem is she drops into my life for a few days at a time every now and then and doesn't ever call/text for months at a time because she says she's ashamed at what her life is like. Then she'll come home for a few days and want to spend every minute with me and it's exhausting. I spent the whole weekend with her and then last night took her to one of my dance things because she wanted to do something but I couldn't handle something that would involve endless amounts of talking, because she'll get caught up in asking for career/life advice that I don't feel comfortable giving. I feel like our conversations go in circles too much and I don't want to talk about her career search anymore, but she considers me a "regular competent person" and therefore able to give advice on getting a job in a field I know nothing about. After we drove back last night, we talked in my car for a while and I kept trying to explain that I wanted to be her friend but I could not give her advice related to health or whether she should keep or quit her (unpaid) job. Eventually I had to tell her that I really, really needed to go home and work because it was 10:30 and I had to finish my lesson for today.

How would you deal with a close friend who has mental and physical issues and is pushing you hard for advice all the time? I'm finding it exhausting because every piece of advice I have, I've already given and I'm done treading these paths over and over. I'm finding myself looking for excuses not to do things like work in a coffeeshop with her because I know that will inevitably lead to the same long conversation again, and I also have a very different style of work from her. (I can't get work done at cafes; they are too distracting and all I want to do after being around students all day is go home and unwind, whereas she doesn't have enough to do, works remotely, and loves people.) But in general I don't want to be sucked into her problems when there is nothing I can do about them. I know that for MY mental health I start to go crazy when I don't sleep enough and get stressed out because of work, and I've been getting too close to that this fall without taking on someone's extreme burden. OTOH, I don't want to seem like a bad friend/horrible person. :worried:

[Biter]

Well, from her behaviour it sounds like she isn't being a good friend to you at the moment. I can definitely understand her need to vent and be around friends, but are you her only outlet?

You're not her therapist (as far as I know), so why does it seem like you're responsible for her? Sure, you're her best friend, but does that mean that there are no limits to your relationship?

Does she have any contact with mental health professionals in your state? Perhaps, if she can find other outlets, your relationship can become healthier again.

Sci - I find the theory that anxiety-related symptoms can be a socially and medically legitimate response to life in the modern age really interesting.

[Sci-2]

Well, from her behaviour it sounds like she isn't being a good friend to you at the moment. I can definitely understand her need to vent and be around friends, but are you her only outlet?

You're not her therapist (as far as I know), so why does it seem like you're responsible for her? Sure, you're her best friend, but does that mean that there are no limits to your relationship?

Does she have any contact with mental health professionals in your state? Perhaps, if she can find other outlets, your relationship can become healthier again.

Sci - I find the theory that anxiety-related symptoms can be a socially and medically legitimate response to life in the modern age really interesting.

Kat, was also going to ask if your friend is currently in therapy.

Also, yeah it's a bit weird to think anxiety could be so pervasive.

[Nest]

I'm not a regular on this forum, but I don't know where else to vent my craziness, and it's kind of easier to vent to strangers.

I'm having a really hard time coping with depression at the moment.

I have struggled with depression for around 10 years now (since my early teens), although maybe I should clarify that i've never been diagnosed.

I've been through bad patches, and good, but even through the happiest times a shadow of depression was always there refusing to let me keep any real hope for the future.

I've never spoken openly to anyone about this, i've never sought help, i've never wanted to. During rough patches in the past I would just avoid social interaction as much as possible, and sort of wait for the darkness to pass.

Now, for the first time I recall, I desperately want to ask for help. I want to be able to speak to my family and friends. I want to be able to visit a doctor and/or therapist. But I can't bring myself to do it. I'm afraid that they won't understand, or that they'll start seeing me differently, treating me differently. I'm afraid that my mom will blame herself, I think if she knew how much i've been suffering she would feel guilty about it, and I really don't want that.

I don't know what to do.

My life is a mess, and I really want to fix it.

I want to be able to feel real hope for the future.

[Sci-2]

Now, for the first time I recall, I desperately want to ask for help. I want to be able to speak to my family and friends. I want to be able to visit a doctor and/or therapist. But I can't bring myself to do it. I'm afraid that they won't understand, or that they'll start seeing me differently, treating me differently. I'm afraid that my mom will blame herself, I think if she knew how much i've been suffering she would feel guilty about it, and I really don't want that.

Would your family feel better if they knew you were suffering [to spare them suffering]?

It's better to deal with the problem before it gets worse [and unmanageable].

There's a bunch of resources in the link in my sig (primarily US based), though ideally I think you should seek therapy but if you can't afford it or don't want to jump into that there might be online or community resource options.

[Nest]

Would your family feel better if they knew you were suffering [to spare them suffering]?

It's better to deal with the problem before it gets worse [and unmanageable].

There's a bunch of resources in the link in my sig (primarily US based), though ideally I think you should seek therapy but if you can't afford it or don't want to jump into that there might be online or community resource options.

I know these things, logically, but my emotions and fears seemingly have no logical basis.

I'm in the uk, I can get help on the NHS. My issue is that I just cannot bring myself to ask for help.

[Xray the Enforcer]

Use a hotline. Samaritans and the NHS both have them.

Samaritans:

Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone: 08457 90 90 90 (24-hour helpline)
Website: www.samaritans.org.uk

See this link: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/mental-health-helplines.aspx

It's only a phone call -- no obligations, nor do you have to leave your home. Give it a try and see where it takes you. :grouphug: