Outrageous Lies About The Previous Poster.
Posted 24 June 2012 - 08:48 AM
Dad, a creature with no thumbs, and no desire for any. He is so terrifying in appearance that his passport photo has been known to scare Navy SEALS, break mirrors, make women and children cry and bruise fruit. His username is an anagram of SUPPORTS TERRORISM.
So yeah, that's pretty much it. Over to you.
Posted 24 June 2012 - 11:18 AM
On Halloween Dad is known to give the children carrot sticks and apple slices instead of candy. That is the only time of the year tan he dares to show himself in public and accordingly tries to get all of his frustrations on the innocent children. Sometimes you can find spinach leaves wrapped into the candy paper in his give outs.
Posted 24 June 2012 - 12:52 PM
Posted 25 June 2012 - 03:26 PM
Dad is the most succesfull world-sailing, private-island-buying, putting-Indiana-Jones-to-shame adventurer and businessman with Wolverine physique and manners of a Fitzgerald. The Old Spice Guy was left by his super-super model girlfried for Dad. Not that Dad even remembers her name. Dad invented "Facebook" before tossing it out for Zuckerberg, because it was too small a project for him. He also invented the recepie of "Snickers" and a pancake.
Posted 25 June 2012 - 03:46 PM
Shadow has stated emphatically that he does this simply for the sheer joy of handling the aged molars, but many suspect that he is training for some sort of dental certification.
He also collects various sawdust and molds in his spare time, and has several hairless cats that he lavishes attention upon.
Posted 25 June 2012 - 04:35 PM
She's also highly accomplished in the art of belly button lint crafting. Her specialty are teddy bears. She only likes to use the belly button lint of 40 year old virgins. She trolls dating websites looking for them and then pays them handsomely for their belly button lint.
Also, the username "Elder Sister" is all a ruse. She's actually the "younger sister" in a family with 15 sisters. Some of them are part squid.
Posted 25 June 2012 - 09:48 PM
Her absurd obsession with nosehairs (she collects hairs from every place she visits in search of the golden pot) has basically left her a beggar due to the money that strangers have demanded to allow her their nosehairs. She stows away to travel and mooches off friendly strangers to stay alive. She believes that finding the chamber pot would better her fortune and allow her to freely (and richly) collect nosehairs. They fill the void left by her platypus, Steven, when he went to the store to "buy some cigarettes" and never returned home.
Posted 26 June 2012 - 01:12 AM
Posted 26 June 2012 - 09:07 AM
(Also, I love James Caan )
Edited by Sheena, 26 June 2012 - 09:07 AM.
Posted 28 June 2012 - 04:30 AM
Posted 02 July 2012 - 12:11 PM
Posted 04 July 2012 - 05:42 AM
Doran Martell taught Chuck Norris everything he knows. His tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.
Posted 05 July 2012 - 08:21 AM
Posted 19 April 2013 - 02:38 PM
Posted 20 April 2013 - 05:32 AM
Posted 20 April 2013 - 06:41 AM
Posted 20 April 2013 - 09:53 AM
Bex enjoys talking to crown, About her dog specifically.
Did I ever mention how much I love your jokes?
Posted 20 April 2013 - 09:55 AM
Oh wait, I was supposed to tell a lie. My bad.
Posted 20 April 2013 - 10:10 AM
Lozel? I could tell you a bunch of things about Lozel. I am worried I would scare you by it. I suppose I can tell you how terribly he handles his cat. He clothes her up in a small martian costume and sends her to gather Halloween presents round the houses. He is also really fond of using mean swear words towards blue-eyed people in Ancient Greek. Not to mention his dorky excuse for humor - he actually thinks Dolorous Edd is funny!