maarsen Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 The only filter that I tend to use is intellect. Nothing makes me more attracted to a woman than her ability to hold her own when I blather on about the cool articles I just finished reading in Scientific American. Oh, and boobs. They are nice too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonesy Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Do you have the ability to speak intelligently in your primary language? Even if you often prefer to use slang? Do you bathe at least every other day during a normal week? Those are my requirements for a starting point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A True Kaniggit Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Last year, a woman excluded me from consideration because I'm not a skinny white guy. Last year someone told me it wouldn't work because she didn't date "scrawny white guys". Wanna switch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenhair Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Intelligence was, and is, the main factor in how attractive people are to me. However, some of the most horrendous people I know (90 days and counting ex-H included) are intelligent, but are also cruel and awful. So, along with being intelligent, the person must be kind. Just using these two filters alone weeds out a huge number of people. I really don't care about eye color, skin color, hair color, height, etc. Boyfriend, who leaves tomorrow :(, is a wonderfully kind, incredibly smart Asian guy, who just woke up long enough to mumble "Pacific Islander" to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Free Northman Reborn Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Interesting. How is intelligence any less discriminatory as a basis for disqualification than race, or height, or attractiveness or any other genetic characteristic one may choose? People have no choice over any of these, and yet only race seems to be frowned upon as one of the selection criteria. What gives? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Well, as pointed out repeatedly in this thread which you have clearly not bothered to read, "race" is an overly broad category bound up with all sorts of stereotypes and assumptions, so to automatically write off an entire swathe of people based on this actually rather arbitrary classification (remind me, how many black ancestors does one need to qualify as "really" black, again? Is the One Drop Rule still in effect?) is actually a somewhat questionable act, no matter how deeply felt your own personal fetish for pasty skin and freckles. Gods preserve us from conservatives with inept gotchas. I will also here quote this hilarious/terrible piece of "scientific" justification for racially-based mate selection, from some Victorian dude referenced by Gould, cos it's... well, judge for yourselves:Ascending the line of gradation, we come at last to the White European, who being most removed from the brute creation, may, on that account, be considered as the most beautiful of the human race. No-one will doubt his superiority of intellectual powers; and I believe it will be found that his capacity is naturally superior also to that of every other man. Where shall we find, except in the European, that nobly arched head, containing such a quantity of brain, and supported by a hollow conical pillar, entering its center? Where the perpendicular face, the prominent nose, and round projecting chin? Where that variety of features, and fulness of expression; those long, flowing, graceful ringlets; that majestic beard, those rosy cheeks and coral lips? Where that erect posture of the body and noble gait? In what other quarter of the globe shall we find the blush that overspreads the soft features of the beautiful women of Europe, that emblem of modesty, of delicate feelings, and of sense? Where that nice expression of the amiable and softer passions in the countenance; and that general elegance of features and complexion? Where, except on the bosom of the European woman, two such plump and snowy white hemispheres, tipt with vermillion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maarsen Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Almost any factor can be important in choosing a mate. The underlying fact is that people look for a mate that can give them healthy offspring. For men, wide hips are good, large breasts signify a well fed baby, intelligence helps when things get tough as does enough body fat. Hair is a excellent signifier of overall health, as is good skin. Dissimilar immune systems are also important tin that the mix provides offspring with a better chance of surviving when confronted by anti-vaxxers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liffguard Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Almost any factor can be important in choosing a mate. The underlying fact is that people look for a mate that can give them healthy offspring. For men, wide hips are good, large breasts signify a well fed baby, intelligence helps when things get tough as does enough body fat. Hair is a excellent signifier of overall health, as is good skin. Dissimilar immune systems are also important tin that the mix provides offspring with a better chance of surviving when confronted by anti-vaxxers. Don't forget to check their back teeth as well. Firm, healthy molars are an excellent sign of reproductive health. In fact, I insist on any potential partner submitting the results of a recent dental check-up along with full medical history to ensure the necessary levels of reproductive fitness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felguy Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Don't forget to check their back teeth as well. Firm, healthy molars are an excellent sign of reproductive health. In fact, I insist on any potential partner submitting the results of a recent dental check-up along with full medical history to ensure the necessary levels of reproductive fitness. Does this mean my swimmers are strong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenhair Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Interesting. How is intelligence any less discriminatory as a basis for disqualification than race, or height, or attractiveness or any other genetic characteristic one may choose? People have no choice over any of these, and yet only race seems to be frowned upon as one of the selection criteria. What gives? As Min points out so well, neither kindness nor intelligence are filters that lend themselves to all sorts of incorrect stereotypes or fetishizations. Also, intelligence and kindness are not usually capable of getting a person killed, while skin color (or rather imperfect attitudes to skin color) has a long human history of engendering prejudice and concomitant discriminatory, and horrific practices. Returning more to the original topic, weeding out all black (or white or Asian, etc.) people from your dating pool smacks of possible racism, and in my opinion, focuses entirely on the wrong things we should seek in others. Too often, people with great dating potential are placed in a type of "no" pile because of superficial considerations and attitudes of "I don't date X." Min, that quote is so bad/good that I tried to relocate a quote I found from the California legislature (I think 19th century) discussing fear of the Filipino man because of his advantages in sexual prowess with white women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Ent Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 How is intelligence any less discriminatory as a basis for disqualification than race, or height, or attractiveness or any other genetic characteristic one may choose? For me it isn’t, but let’s not pretend there are well-defined arbitrators of what is discriminatory. People discriminate brutally when dating, everything else would be incredibly surprising. I assume we discriminate primarily based on sex, then on age. After that, people’s behaviour might diversify: in modern society, people select highly for matching intelligence (we know this because we measure it, there’s a great book about the problems with this behaviour called the Bell Curve). Most people select for looks, and women seem to select for income. There is some selection for height, higher is generally better, but there is a cut-off. Most people discriminate for race (see data I quoted upthread), but this is mainly visible in multiethnic societies like the United States. In many other countries the question doesn’t make sense. Some cultures explicitly select for both race and religion, but this is not an individual mating preference but a cultural one. In many contexts, this kind of selective behaviour is seen as downright virtuous (in particular when tribal or religious structures dictate these choices), in others it is unremarkable (such as selecting for age, or shared language), in others it is seen as morally reprehensible (women selecting for income, men of all races selecting for light skin in all races). These boundaries are merely cultural accidents, and exist mainly for social signalling. There is obviously no Lexicon or Morality that that arbitrate why and when some of the parameters are virtuous or not. (Unless you take the cynical view that all questions of morality and propriety are mainly used to foster ingroup cohesion, which leads you to a circular definition: [i]discrimination[/i] is what the consensus defines it to me.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 any aesthetic preference at all will be discriminatory, aye? democracy accordingly requires indiscriminate mating. i.e., if you aren't screwing everyone, then you're an asshole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Yes yes, by making any choice at all between two or more options, we are by definition discriminating, but that facile oversimplification adds not much to the discussion. We are rather talking about a blanket dismissal of one particular group of people from consideration, based on a loaded societal construct; if it boiled down to individual choices between individuals, we wouldn't even be having the conversation. Consider - a person refusing to date a member of the proletariat may be absolutely entitled to their own sexual preferences, but you can't at the same time say that they are not indulging in classism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 duh! reduction ad absurdum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyron Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Oh :( well it was fun to not be an asshole while it lasted. *goes back to discriminating* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted September 14, 2015 Author Share Posted September 14, 2015 Every man on Earth is excluded from my dating pool. Clearly, that doesn't have the same underlying implications, already identified up thread, as excluding an entire race. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Every man on Earth is excluded from my dating pool. *sobs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted September 14, 2015 Author Share Posted September 14, 2015 *sobs* Well shit, if we're allowed to make exceptions ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Arthur Hightower Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I find the implication that racial preferences for dating is racist troubling since it is saying who people should be attracted to and how much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Bruce Campbell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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