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About Liffguard

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    A gentleman and a scholar.

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    Devon, UK

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  1. Liffguard

    Unpopular Opinions, Part Deux

    I'll tell you what though, I have a bit of a soft-spot for old-school low-budget British war films. Have you ever seen The Cockleshell Heroes? There are two "leader" characters (based on real people); an eccentric, ain't got time for rules maverick, and a straight-laced, by-the-book character. And one of the morals of the story is that the maverick needs to stop fucking about and follow the rules so that the men can learn proper English discipline and get the job done. And then in the end they all face a German firing squad with a stiff upper lip. All based on real events as well, though obviously dramatised.
  2. Liffguard

    Unpopular Opinions, Part Deux

    Agreed. This makes me a pariah in certain circles, but I think Black Hawk Down is a total snooze-fest, and I've never managed to finish Saving Private Ryan. The only war-porn screen depiction I really like is Generation Kill, partly because it spends so much time on all human interaction, petty bullshit, banal fuck ups and soul-crushing boredom as much as actual fighting.
  3. I don't know, but if you find out please let me know. In regards to the previously mentioned friend, I've 100% moved beyond confusion about whether I have feelings or not. I have feelings - don't know if I'm "in love" or not (whatever that even means) - but there are definitely romantic feelings there. She's taken up permanent residence in my head over the past couple of weeks. A group beach outing and a particularly nice bikini definitely didn't help matters. I still have no idea what I want to do about this though. I was hoping it would just fade away if I ignored it, but the exact opposite has been happening. Might be time to put on the big-boy pants and have a difficult conversation.
  4. Oh god, Yorkshire Gold is so good. I won't make builders' tea with anything else nowadays.
  5. Liffguard

    At what age did you move out of your parents house

    Depends what you mean by "move out" I guess. I stopped living permanently at my parents' house when I was 18 and went out to work in Australia then Antigua. Then I was off to University for three years, then the military. But even though I wasn't permanently living at home, my parents' house still remained my home base and regular mailing address for a long time. It's where I would go back to during uni holidays or leave periods. I only got my own permanent address three years ago at age 28, so does that count as properly moving out?
  6. So, the friend I'm crushing on just asked me - completely unprompted - if I'd be willing to give her a massage, and said she'd return the favour. Okay, it's not at all impossible that it's a completely platonic request. Still, I feel I may be losing control of this situation. Halp please?
  7. No disrespect to your mum, but I'm not sure I agree with this. I get the point, but I don't agree with the phrasing. All relationships end, but just because a relationship ended doesn't mean it failed.
  8. All I can say is that this resonates with me in a big way - okay, not so much the casual thing with a bloke (though I guess if it was the right bloke at the right time I wouldn't necessarily be opposed), or the floating orb thing (that's a little out there) - but everything else definitely resonates. Like I see how casually and frequently and matter-of-factly everyone around me treats dating and relationships, and I wonder how they do it. And I end up consistently thinking that I just don't get it on some fundamental level, and wouldn't life be easier if I simply didn't have to worry about it at all? Unfortunately I have no advice, just solidarity. The only part I strongly disagree with is ths: which is very much not true.
  9. That sucks big time, sorry to hear it. Wine and crying sounds like a decent enough coping strategy though (my preferred substitute is whisky and staring soulfully into the distance whilst listening to soft jazz, makes me feel vaguely noirish). My resolve is starting to crumble, and I'm kindof tempted to set up another online dating account to take my mind off it, but then I remember how much I hate online dating and dismiss that idea, but then that leaves me with my crumbling resolve. Fucks sake.
  10. Thanks for the input. Right now I'm leaning more towards just ignoring it. As you say, good friendships are hard to come by, and if I made this weird it has the potential to ruin not just this friendship, but also spread awkwardness through my social circle as a whole. If I was 100% sure of my feelings I think I'd lay it out there, but right now I'm too confused to risk it. Hopefully a bit of time and this will die down a bit like crushes generally do.
  11. At least you know where you stand. But yeah, it sucks when your hopes get dashed. In other news, I think I might be developing feelings for a friend, and I have absolutely no idea what to do with this information. On the one hand, I get the impression that if I asked her if she wanted to date she'd say yes. On the other hand, I'm pretty confused about what it is that I'm actually feeling, and I don't want to potentially jeopardise I really good friendship over what might just be a passing moment of insanity. Excuse the TMI, but it's been a really long time and I don't know if my brain is just latching onto the nearest available woman. But then, I also do really enjoy her company and miss her when she's gone. Why the fuck can't I just feel things and know what it is that I'm feeling without having to over-analyse and second-guess everything?
  12. Liffguard

    Book series with best character development?

    My vote would go to the Vorkosigan series. I think Bujold is one of the best authors in SF at writing characters and their interactions. She can show characters evolving without dramatically changing their fundamentals, and is really good for subverting the reader's previously established conceptions of those characters.
  13. Well I think that's a bit of a false dichotomy. You don't have to just sit back and wait just because you're not using dating sites/apps. You can join a club, or a sports team. Take a class. Volunteer. To be clear, I'm not saying someone should do these things purely as a dating vehicle. It's really easy to spot the new guy who turns up and immediately starts hitting on every woman in the vicinity. But they put you out into the world and in contact with like-minded people and so increase the chances of meeting someone you hit it off with. Or there are more explicit singles events like speed-dating or similar. Very much not my thing, but still another avenue to explore if you want to be active in finding a partner but not use online dating.
  14. Liffguard

    Small things you hate

    I get good results from a dehumidifier.
  15. My problem with them is that they feel too much like work. Reading profiles feels like reading job adverts. And trying to type an intro message feels like writing a cover letter. I find the whole experience weirdly reminiscent of a job hunt, with similar levels of stress and frustration.