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Eradicating "Nice Guy" from your life


lokisnow

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So...basically the generic goal is to act like an asshole to get people to be interested in you, and then actually be a fairly decent person afterwards.

This is actually like the first chapter of the Kalbear Posting Handbook.

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All very well and good but for once I would like someone to go into the question of what men want in/from a relationship or even in re to a hook up.

Seriously all these articles keep telling me about women is that they have no clue as to what they want in a partner. I am sorry but I do not believe this.

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So...basically the generic goal is to act like an asshole to get people to be interested in you, and then actually be a fairly decent person afterwards.

NO WONDER the board produces such happy relationships.

Fuck you Kalbear!

Marry Me!

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All very well and good but for once I would like someone to go into the question of what men want in/from a relationship or even in re to a hook up.

I thought men just want someone who is alive.

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This new stuff is interesting IMHO: You have to be nice to your partner and her friends/family, but subjugator to the rest of the world (particularly other men):

Kind toward whom? Mate preferences for personality traits are target specific.

Previous mate preference studies indicate that people prefer partners whose personalities are extremely kind and trustworthy, but relatively nondominant. This conclusion, however, is based on research that leaves unclear whether these traits describe the behavior a partner directs toward oneself, toward other classes of people or both. Because the fitness consequences of partners' behaviors likely differed depending on the classes of individuals toward whom behaviors were directed, we predicted that mate preferences for personality traits would change depending on the specific targets of a partner's behavioral acts. Consistent with this, two experiments demonstrated that people prefer partners who are extremely kind and trustworthy when considering behaviors directed toward themselves or their friends/family, but shift their preferences to much lower levels of these traits when considering behaviors directed toward other classes of individuals. In addition, both sexes preferred partners who direct higher levels of dominance toward members of the partner's own sex than toward any other behavioral target category, with women preferring levels of dominance toward other men as high as—or higher than—levels of kindness and trustworthiness. When asked to rate traits for which the behavioral target was left unspecified, furthermore, preferences were very similar to self-directed preferences, suggesting that previous trait-rating studies have not measured preferences for partners' behaviors directed toward people other than oneself. These findings may provide a basic contribution to the mate preference literature via their demonstration that ideal standards for romantic partners are importantly qualified by the targets of behavioral acts.

Lukaszewski & Roney, 2010

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Snooze. These "studies" are about the biggest waste of time around. It's not that girls don't go for "nice guys", but that they won't go for creepy/pushover guys who describe themselves as "nice". That applies to relationships in general. Treating someone with respect is never a losing game, but that implies respecting yourself too. You're not being "nice" by assuming a woman needs you to do anything for her at any time or that she cannot manage independently without your help.

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What the fuck does "nice guy" even mean? Being a total clingy pussy? I never understood the term.

It means being considerate, trustworthy, accommodating to the needs of others, while having a positive attitude. In short, caring that another is as comfortable as possible, with the sole reward being the sense of accomplishment at a job well done. And also being male.

I don't know who the hell would want that. I don't want a nice girl. I want an easy girl, who makes it clear that she really likes sex and wants to have it. Now. And who's hot and has, um, a good personality and whatever that other stuff is. I don't see why women should be forced to different standards.

People might suggest different strokes for different folks, but those people are probably all nice guys, which according to this board means they're assholes.

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It means being considerate, trustworthy, accommodating to the needs of others, while having a positive attitude. In short, caring that another is as comfortable as possible, with the sole reward being the sense of accomplishment at a job well done. And also being male.

I don't know anyone who fits this description 24/7. Throwing blanket labels on complicated behavioral patterns is silly.

I don't know who the hell would want that. I don't want a nice girl. I want an easy girl, who makes it clear that she really likes sex and wants to have it. Now. And who's hot and has, um, a good personality and whatever that other stuff is. I don't see why women should be forced to different standards.

Really? Hmm, i dunno if i believe that.

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Okay. That's just how I understood the term "nice." *shrugs*

What do I know? I'm not a nice guy. I'm not even a dashingly douchey guy. I'm a meanie, straight out. I no longer cry at the end of Braveheart, and I eat horse meat while reading Black Beauty.

Really? Hmm, i dunno if i believe that.

What? That women shouldn't be forced into different standards? Or that it's impossible to believe that a male's tastes lie in a woman whose smoking and totally wants him?

Hey, I'll settle for less. I'll play the dating game and all that nonsense if necessary. Doesn't mean I like the less than ideal. It's something you put up with.

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I'm a meanie, straight out. I no longer cry at the end of Braveheart, and I eat horse meat while reading Black Beauty.

hahaha. yeah you know you've killed all emotion when you don't cry at the end of braveheart.

Or that it's impossible to believe that a male's tastes lie in a woman whose smoking and totally wants him?

I don't know. I don't get being with someone just for sex. ::shrugs::

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I'm supposedly a 'nice' guy. Wasn't really a self appointed label. But I've come to accept it. At 45, I'm not second guessing myself and who I am anymore. Someone can either appreciate me for being 'nice,' or they can find somebody else.

I've had enough trouble keeping relationships past the seven year mark as it is, without second guessing myself all the time.

Meh.

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See, you're a pussy for having seen that movie.

Fuck that shit, I'm not afraid of watching any movie, however if you aint got the balls to sit through it despite what people think that makes one a pussy. When it comes to film I don't give a fuck what people think. I see 300-350 films a year, more than a lot of people see in ten years so damn right I'm gonna see films you're too pussy to watch . :D

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