The absolute worst theory you have heard?

[kiasyd]

And I think it's equally annoying when all of this is applied to Dany. It works both ways.

Don't forget this being applied to Stannis as well! :ack:

[Stannis Eats No Peaches]

Ned killed Lyanna, N+L=J, B(randon)+L=J, Cersei and Jaime are secret Targaryens because they are good looking. The last theory is well known but the evidence put forward in this circumstance was just stupid.

ETA: Renly is Robert's son.

[Eating My Wings]

Jaime will become the leader of the BWB.

Quite terrible indeed. But there are worse. For example, "Tyrion and Sansa will come to love each other".

[youdontsnowme]

OP asks: what's the absolute worst theory you have heard?

>people respond with "I HATE JON SNOW!"

For me it's the "Everyone's at Greywater Watch!" theory. We've got Brynden Tully, Jeyne and her imaginary child. Arthur Dayne, however that works. A secret northern army. The only person who isn't there is Howland himself, who's a wolf, his son, or Bloodraven. To be fair Howland might still be at Greywater, in the body of Arthur Dayne who he warged at the Tower of Joy...

[Eating My Wings]

For me it's the "Everyone's at Greywater Watch!" theory. We've got Brynden Tully, Jeyne and her imaginary child. Arthur Dayne, however that works. A secret northern army. The only person who isn't there is Howland himself, who's a wolf, his son, or Bloodraven. To be fair Howland might still be at Greywater, in the body of Arthur Dayne who he warged at the Tower of Joy...

That would make Greywater the biggest castle in Westeros.

[The Meeraculous Third Reed]

OP asks: what's the absolute worst theory you have heard?

>people respond with "I HATE JON SNOW!"

For me it's the "Everyone's at Greywater Watch!" theory. We've got Brynden Tully, Jeyne and her imaginary child. Arthur Dayne, however that works. A secret northern army. The only person who isn't there is Howland himself, who's a wolf, his son, or Bloodraven. To be fair Howland might still be at Greywater, in the body of Arthur Dayne who he warged at the Tower of Joy...

Very good.

[-Ghost-]

____ is a secret Targ, cause I think it would be cool!!!

Jojen = Howland

[WhiteWalder]

Ned killed Lyanna, N+L=J, B(randon)+L=J, Cersei and Jaime are secret Targaryens because they are good looking. The last theory is well known but the evidence put forward in this circumstance was just stupid.

ETA: Renly is Robert's son.

Just saw the Renly is Robert's son thread and felt dumber for reading it

Here are the others that leave me scratching my head

T=T

Ashara Dayne is Quaithe

Ned is Coldhands

[Myrish Swamp Thing]

T=T

That's not a theory, that's a tautology.

[-Ghost-]

Darkstar isnt of the night.

[The Idiots Lantern]

Jon and Sansa will get married or something. Ew.

Rheagar was a polygamist who married Lyanna because prophesy and crap, but he was still a good guy because Elia knew about it and said sure, why not, more the merrier. Ew.

[Juli Greyjoy]

Euron being or warging the dusky woman. Almost as good as Arthur Dayne is a bastard of the Mad King. Oh, and Howland Reed warging Arthur Dayne at the Tower of Joy.

Edit: After a quick look at the current topics I have to add "Was Renly Roberts son?" to that list. :stillsick:

[Miriel]

That there used to be giant birds the Arryns flew around on to get up to the Eyrie...

[SeanF]

That there used to be giant birds the Arryns flew around on to get up to the Eyrie...

Everyone knows that.

[WinterKing]

Jon Swap theory

Jojen is Howland

[Kienn]

Someone said Ned was Ned Flanders from the Simpsons.

[AegonSnow]

what's Jon Swap?

[Maegor the Cuddly]

Edit: I'd say any involving Rhaegar living... Ugh.

And "Jon is the Song of Ice and Fire", sure, let's call him Rhaegar and Lyanna's son, but to go as far as to call him the main character goes against what Martin wants...

[Light a wight tonight]

Theories that read like an excerpt from "The Many Adventures of Syrio Forel"

Where is this book available?

[The Idiots Lantern]

That there used to be giant birds the Arryns flew around on to get up to the Eyrie...

That's not really a "theory" it's more of a legend, right? Kinda like how the Grayjoys claim their first king married a mermaid, even though there's no evidence mermaids ever existed....