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Werthead

GOODKIND III

702 posts in this topic

I need help.

I'll be checking here for advice.

peace.

One...

Kick the dog's face in and get a goat. A goat will always recognize you, for they are noble creatures, unlike your unloyal dog, who is probably not a dog at all.

Two...

Allow your thing to rise up. If you do this you will own your company in a matter of hours. For the thing is all powerful, and all persuasive. If that doesn't work kick your bosses face in, for your anger is righteous.

Also take this advice with Brad. Who is likely not a Brad, but evil incarnate. Beware if he starts clucking evilly.

Three...

Grow a Yeard. Chicks dig Yeards. Your wife will be all over you if you had a Yeard. She would probably be giving you sweet sweet love right now if your Yeard was impressive enough.

So to some up.

Kill the dog and get a goat. And master both your thing and your yeard, before long your life will be back to normal, only better!

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But are they giving you all the credit you richly deserve for all of this? And have they discovered GioG yet? :P

Ages ago - though for a while they were unsure as to whether it was real. And for a short time, when Mystar was at Malazan, I think they just managed to have the edge of Goodkind-bashing. But then in total number of posts, these forums win hands down.

I know the poverty and the homeless life I came out of as a young man to become a successful businessman.
(from Three Seas)

I thought he had just said he was a counsellor - who actually believes the first part of this statement?

dude, I'm not attacking anyone

The irony of this is great - it follows an absolute tirade of insults.

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Did the fire speech from the first book ever get written up in the Goodkind mauling thread? If not, then that deserve to be a quote of the day. It was one of the lamest political speeches I have ever heard anyone make. And what made it really funny was how everyone who heard the speech was so moved by it that for a while it really look like they were going to ban fire.

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I thought he had just said he was a counsellor - who actually believes the first part of this statement?

I don't believe any part of the statement, it's all too easy on internet to claim you are an expert in everything without ever offering proofs.

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that is because we are all diseased, Wert. We have an addiction that cannot be sated. :cry:

No, you get it all wrong!

We all hate him because we can't stand that he is such a good good writer.

We are obviously immature, without experience, lacking in intelligence and hate freedom.

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I don't believe any part of the statement, it's all too easy on internet to claim you are an expert in everything without ever offering proofs.

Why would you question something is stated on teh 1nt3rn3t? It boggles my mind...

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I'm compiling a list of urgent questions for TG. Anyone care to contribute?

1. What is the root cause of your deep-seated chicken phobia?

2. Is a poultry farmer complicit in the crimes of his chickens?

3. You have frequently alluded to a vast conspiracy of those attempting to rob us of our individual freedom. What shadowy figures are behind this conspiracy and will owning a goat protect me from them?

4. You have publicly stated that SF is dying and that you are attempting to kill fantasy. Will any genres survive your rampage?

5. You have stated that Ayn Rand is the greatest author currently publishing, despite the fact of her death more than 20 years ago. Do you consider yourself to be channeling her spirit?

6. Do you ever miss your sanity? Or do you consider the concept of sanity to be a restriction imposed on the individual by our morally corrupt and degenerate society to deny their free will?

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Did the fire speech from the first book ever get written up in the Goodkind mauling thread? If not, then that deserve to be a quote of the day. It was one of the lamest political speeches I have ever heard anyone make. And what made it really funny was how everyone who heard the speech was so moved by it that for a while it really look like they were going to ban fire.

Mr. Nobuddy PM'd me yesterday recommending the exact same thing, so here it is, featured in the Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day.

At a political rally, after Michael (Richards brother and new first councillor) has spent some time giving a speech about enemies and conspiracies, real or imagined:

"And now, to the other part," Michael continued, "to the real suffering around us. While we have worried about the boundaries that have not harmed a single one of us, many of our families, friends, and neighbors have suffered, and died. Tragic and needless deaths, in accidents with fire. Yes, that is what I said. Fire."

People mumbled in confusion. Michael was starting to lose his bond with the crowd. He seemed to expect it; he looked from face to face, letting the confusion build, and then dramatically he thrust his hand out, his finger pointing.

At Richard.

"There!" he screamed. Everyone turned as one. Hundreds of eyes looked at Richard. "There stands my beloved brother!" Richard tried to shrink. "My beloved brother who shares with me" - he pounded a fist to his chest - "the tragedy of losing our own mother to fire! Fire took our mother from us when we were young, and left us to grow up alone, without her love and care, without her guidance. It was not some imagined enemy from accross a boundary that took her, but an enemy of fire! She couldn't be there to comfort us when we hurt, when we cried in the night. And the thing that wounds the most is that it didn't have to be."

Tears, glistening in the sunlight, ran down Michael's cheeks. "I am sorry, friends, please forgive me." He wiped the tears with a handkerchief he had handy. "It's just that only this morning I heard of another fire that took a fine young mother and father, and left their daughter an orphan. It brought my own pain back to me and I couldn't remain silent." Everyone was now solidly back with him. Their tears flowed freely. A woman put her arm around Richard's shouldder as he stood numb. She whispered how sorry she was.

"I wonder how many of you have shared the pain my brother and I live with every day. Please, those of you who have aloved one, or a friend, who has been hurt, or even killed, by fire, please, hold up your hands." Quite a few hands went up, and there was wailing from some in the crowd.

"There, my friends," he said hoarsely, spreading his arms wid, "there is the suffering among us. We need look no further than this room."

Richard tried to swallow the lump in his throat as the memory of that horror came back to him. A man who had imagined their father had cheated him lost his temper and knocked a lamp off the table as Richard and his brother slept in the back bedroom. While the man dragged his father outside, beating him, his mother pulled Richard and his brother from the burning house, then ran back inside to save something, they never knew what, and was burned alive. Her screams brought the man to his senses, and he and their father tried to save her, but couldn't. Filled with guilt and revulsion at what he had caused, the man ran off crying and yelling that he was sorry.

That, his father had told them a thousand times, was the result of a man losing his temper. Michael shrugged it off; Richard took it to heart. It had instilled in him a dread of his own anger, and whenever it threatened to come out, he choked it off.

Michael was wrong. Fire had not killed their mother; anger had.

Arms hanging limply at his side, head bowed, Michael spoke softly again. "What can we do about the danger to our families from fire?" He shook his head sadly. "I do not know, my friends.

"But, I am forming a commission on the problem, and I urge any concerned citizen to come forward with suggestions. My door always stands open. Together we can do something. together we will do something."

~Terry Goodkind, Wizard's First Rule

Very stirring, no? Like listening to Churchill.

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Their tears flowed freely.

How understandable... Though you have to wonder why they really cried, and what was the substance of the tears.

In other news, to the other real suffering around us...

While we have worried about the boundaries that have not harmed a single one of us, many of our families, friends, and neighbors have suffered, and died. Tragic and needless deaths, in accidents with Bretzels. Yes, that is what I said. Bretzels.

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:sick:

once again I can't believe that a majority of these quotes are coming from WFR, which most people seem to think the "best" of the series. i can only wonder at the horror the later books contain.

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This is a farce, right? I mean that Goodkind want to show the readers the deep abyss of this Michael's stupidity. Maybe there was a lesson here about the dangers of government that comes out with stupid policies and manages to convince the Objectivistically challenged masses using a great skill of oratory and control of the mass media.

The execution (Michael's speech) is poor but Goodkind is doing this on purpose; just to emphasise the danger of people believing bullshit he increases the absurdity of the message.

Richard's tears are just to show us that even him can be fooled by irrational political agendas that try to reach the feelings instead of the reason.

I must be so, of course it must be so.

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One...

Kick the dog's face in and get a goat.

Two...

Allow your thing to rise up.

Three...

Grow a Yeard.

:lmao:

Poetry. Ah 7th Pup Goat, you have come into your own. Baby's all grown up now. :cry: :cry:

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All thats missing from the speech is the monster from Young Frankenstien shouting "FIRE!!! BAD!!!!"

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All thats missing from the speech is the monster from Young Frankenstien shouting "FIRE!!! BAD!!!!"

"Oh..... the sweet mystery of life at last I've found you...."

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This is a farce, right? I mean that Goodkind want to show the readers the deep abyss of this Michael's stupidity. Maybe there was a lesson here about the dangers of government that comes out with stupid policies and manages to convince the Objectivistically challenged masses using a great skill of oratory and control of the mass media.

The execution (Michael's speech) is poor but Goodkind is doing this on purpose; just to emphasise the danger of people believing bullshit he increases the absurdity of the message.

Richard's tears are just to show us that even him can be fooled by irrational political agendas that try to reach the feelings instead of the reason.

I must be so, of course it must be so.

I hate to burst the bubble. A few lines after the Quote of today, Michael makes the comment: "an excellent speech" (probably inaccurate, I have a translated version). Richard replies:" why did you have to involve her (their mother)". No comment on the speech, other than the self-praising by Michael. Also, later in the book, Michael apparently has enough power that he can command the army. So he truly can manipulate "public opinion". At least in the book.

And FYI, what precedes this quote, is that apparently there was a conspiracy against Michael (probably Goodkind's Reichstag's Fire), coincidentally by Michael's political rivals. Of course, every one (in the story), believes that it was indeed a conspiracy, IIRC even Richard....(I do believe he has questions concerning that, but chose to believe his brother, regardless of his doubts).

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One...

Kick the dog's face in and get a goat. A goat will always recognize you, for they are noble creatures, unlike your unloyal dog, who is probably not a dog at all.

Two...

Allow your thing to rise up. If you do this you will own your company in a matter of hours. For the thing is all powerful, and all persuasive. If that doesn't work kick your bosses face in, for your anger is righteous.

Also take this advice with Brad. Who is likely not a Brad, but evil incarnate. Beware if he starts chucking evilly.

Three...

Grow a Yeard. Chick dig Yeards. Your wife will be all over you if you had a Yeard. She would probably be giving you sweet sweet love right now if your Yeard was impressive enough.

Very good advice. I salute you.

5. You have stated that Ayn Rand is the greatest author currently publishing, despite the fact of her death more than 20 years ago. Do you consider yourself to be channeling her spirit?

Whoa...TG does automatic writing for Ayn Rand....XD

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:lmao:

Poetry. Ah 7th Pup Goat, you have come into your own. Baby's all grown up now. :cry: :cry: <-- more tears of joy. Similar to the ecstatic tears of joy shed by Victarion as he beat his wife to death. He shoulda kicked her in the jaw.

:cry: <- (also tears of joy). Thank you Mistress X. Your kind words make my tears flow freely for the pride they inspire. For they inspire much pride.

All I can say is that all of us, together we can do something; together we will do something.

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I've just thought of something to do with the evil chicken - perhaps Goodkind is being more intelligent than we thought - if Pratchett had written about an evil chicken, we'd have seen it as an analogy for Himmler (remember he was a chicken farmer) immediately. But I think that this was just a coincidence on the part of Goodkind - he probably doesn't know that Himmler was a chicken farmer.

Brilliant quote. Goodkind once again shows his mastery of comedy. There were surprisingly few contradictions in the speech, even if the general idea was ridiculous.

and whenever it threatened to come out, he choked it off.

Or he kicks an eight year old girl in the face. Either way, it doesn't affect Richard's conscience.

Together we can do something. together we will do something.

Isn't this an utter rejection of Goodkind's objectivist, libertarian ideology? I thought he was against people working together.

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The Influx of TTNE regulars can really push a thread into overdive. We are the proffesionals.

In the words of Dr. Gonzo "Damn Right!"

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Are you telling me that the speech was serious?

My hopes that Goodkind is just being misunderstood by the uneducated masses have been crushed. For a moment I thought that we were blind to the subtle irony of his writing.

By the way, you know what it hurts me the most? Each time I visit the forums I see this near the bottom under Miscellaneous:

Literature ------------------GOODKIND III

So far Goodkind is defeating Literature by a margin of three to nil.

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