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The Most Ridiculous Thing Ned Could Have Promised Was....


King Pellinore

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"Ned, promise me that you'll claim Brandon's bastard by Ashara Dayne as your own for no reason whatsoever just to cause a toxic relationship between you and your wife. What d'you mean there is no such kid? Oh well, do the same thing by with my son by Rhaegar, that's almost as good."


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"Promise me Ned, promise me that your creep friend, Robert never touches me"

"Promise me Ned, promise me that on the occasions when you think of me, drink milk of the poppy so my mistakes and remembrance are clouded"

Haha I love this one.

Promise me Ned, let my disgusting betrothed Robert not even touch my body when I'm dead.

:ROFL:

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Robert: Eddard, I'm dying. This is the last time you will ever see me.

Eddard: *sees Robert's mortal wounds* Nah, you'll be fine.

Robert: Please take care of my son Joffery. He is after all my blood.

Eddard: Ummm *scratches back of neck uncomfortably* Robert, about that. None of Cersei's children are yours. Cersei is banging her brother. Oh, that feels good. I hate keeping secrets!

Robert: Wait, what-

Eddard: I can't stop, I'm on a roll! I also lied about the Tower of Joy: Lyanna wasn't there and I never found her body. The three Kingsguard there were deserters, and I let them go unharmed. One of them told me Lyanna died peacefully of a chill in a warm bed, deliriously asking for you and saying she was supposed to marry you. I lied to you because I wanted you to remember Lyanna in less painful way.

Robert: You thought telling me she was raped to death would make me feel better?!? I had nightmares about that constantly! Why do you think I was drunk as often as I was?

Eddard: Oh, my bad.

Robert: If you want to make it up to me, kill Cersei and Jamie. No, first legitimize all my bastards, THEN execute Cersei and Jamie. Next revoke Lord Tywin's titles and give Casterly Rock to butterfingers. When he fell off the tower Cersei said she hoped he died so this will piss her off.

Eddard: Ok, I'll kill the Lannister Twins. Though if I knew Bran would rule the Westerlands I would have educated him on how to be a Lord Paramount.

Robert: Hindsight is a blond haired adulterous incestuous b*tch.

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