Outrageous Lies About the Poster Above, V.16 - A Call to Liars Old and New

[honeyed chicken]

"Glutes and abs are overrated." said Helena as she went into the gym to work on her calf muscles.

[HexMachina]

After losing control of his bowels whilst doing his squatting exercises, Honeyed Chicken has been banned from his local gym

[Arya kiddin']

The part that Helena perspires most from is, yes you guessed it right, her philtrums.

[Batbob45]

Arya Kiddin is really Top gear dog

[Arya kiddin']

Batbob can not stand listening to music while he jogs in the morning, iPod is such a detestable invention (phooey). He chews dried rodent meat instead.

[HexMachina]

Arya Kiddin's new avatar is actually a photograph of himself as a young boy. Yes, Arya Kiddin' is the inspiration for Walt Disney's "Up!" movie.

[Arya kiddin']

The name Helena_and_the _machine is inspired from Mac_and _cheese

[honeyed chicken]

Batbob45! All we need now is for Groat and KJR to return (and Sixchins would be nice too!)! :)

Ak lives in fear of being recognized.

He is mortally ashamed of his roles in the Friday the 13th movies as a squealing victim.

[HexMachina]

Speaking of avatar pictures, Pollo de Uruguay's is not actually inspired by food, but by a certain part of the male physiology, which the food has been artfully arranged to represent.

ETA: I'm glad to be back. I need to think of one of my big lies soon i think :idea: On another note, has my avatar changed yet?

[honeyed chicken]

Speaking of avatar pictures, Pollo de Uruguay's is not actually inspired by food, but by a certain part of the male physiology, which the food has been artfully arranged to represent.

ETA: I'm glad to be back. I need to think of one of my big lies soon i think :idea: On another note, has my avatar changed yet?

I know this is hard to believe, but I actually did not see that . . . :blushing:

Glad to have you back! I really thought I had killed the thread for a few days there. :P

Helena has been anxiously waiting for her av to change (it has) because the old one embarrassed her. It was from a moment in her life that's best not spoken of in polite circles. This moment we must not speak of did not necessarily involve K-Y jelly, but it might have.

[Knight of Ashes]

HC really did kill this thread and all the posts here by other members are just hallucinations in his mind brought on by severe guilt and denial.

[KJR the PR of TaFW]

KoA secretly has hacked into all of the forum user's accounts who post on this thread, and has written the past 2 pages of lies himself.

(btws, i saw Pollo's comment above, and just had to come back:)

[Knight of Ashes]

KJR doesn't really exist and is actually a hallucination being hallucinated by one of HC's hallucinations.

[beautifulsouth0]

KoA is a trained fighter pilot. He painted an old school pinup on the F18 fighter jet he flies for the Air Force. The fly boys have nicknamed him Deuce, however, because he can't navigate for shit.

[Knight of Ashes]

BS0 once broke into Ron Jeremy's home and made off with various paraphernalia associated with his career as a porn star. BS0 originally intended to sell them on

e-bay but decIded to keep them for herself when she realized they were useful in getting her through the long, lonely nights.

[HexMachina]

We're all back! :D

When he's not reading or writing comics, or drawing his marvellous pictures, Knight of Ashes likes do ballet. By the side of the motorway...in the nude.

[Knight of Ashes]

Helena has never red any of the ASoIaF books , not even a page, and has been faking it since day one.

[honeyed chicken]

KoA secretly has hacked into all of the forum user's accounts who post on this thread, and has written the past 2 pages of lies himself.

(btws, i saw Pollo's comment above, and just had to come back:)

I have long since discovered the magical effect of mentioning someone's name. :D It has not yet worked with Ghost of Groat but my fingers are crossed. I see Sixchins around. He's playing Acrophobia and I'm thinking of prodding him or guilting him into posting here, since he's so creative and good at this.

Helena has never red any of the ASoIaF books , not even a page, and has been faking it since day one.

Right. She's just hanging out here for the "pleasure" of our company. :lol:

Poor, poor KoA. He's tried so hard to establish himself in the Vancouver (BC, natch) garden club, but keeps mistaking rhododendrons for lilacs. His reputation has taken a mortal wound, I fear.

[HexMachina]

Twas the night before Humpday, when all through the coop,

Not a Chicken was clucking, not even a hoot;

The nests had been fluffed by the doorway with care,

In hopes that the Cockrel soon would be there;

The Hens were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of Honeyed Chicken danced in their heads;

And Chickette in her lingerie and Chickeree with her baps,

Had just pruned their feathers for a long winter's sh*g,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

They sprang from their nests to see what was the matter.

Away to the doorway they flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the crest of the newly groomed Cock,

Gave a sheen of desire to their hunk down below,

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,

But a bottle of rum and eight tiny tumb-lers,

With a great flourish so lively and quick,

They knew in a moment he was by no means too quick.

More rapid than eagles those hens they came,

And HC whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Chickette! now, Chickeree! now Chickelle and Chicken!

Come, Chicker! come, Chucker! come, Chickolle and Chixen!

Out to the yard! to the front of the queue!

Now strip away! strip away! strip away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So out to the yard the chickens they flew

With bosoms a'heaving, and kinky things too—

And then, in a twinkling, was heard in the yard

The clucking and scratching as each them caw'd.

As Honeyed Chicken did flex and was turning around,

From the Chicken Coop came Arya Kiddin' with a bound..

He was dressed all in spandex, from his head to his foot,

And his face was all tarnished with make-up and food;

A bundle of "toys" he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a pimp, just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how saucy!

His cheeks were like roses, his nipples like cherries!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a tab he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old pimp,

And HC laughed when he saw him, in spite of his limp;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave him to know he had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the chickens, with no more than a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the hen-coop he rose;

He flapped his great wngs, to his friends gave a whistle,

And away he did fly like the down of a thistle.

But he was heard to exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“Happy Humpday to all, and to all a good night!”

[honeyed chicken]

:bowdown: :lmao: :bowdown: :lmao: :bowdown: :lmao: :bowdown: :lmao: :bowdown: :lmao:

Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry nice. Love that old Clement Moore poem too.

The above writings from Helena are yet another example of yin & yang at work. Of late poor Helena has been submersed in studying statistics and accountancy. These are topics so dry, dunes have been known to form in the classrooms.

After weeks of credit/debit, standard deviations and means and modes, she's set to go the other way. There's not enough rum and lust in the world to wash the taste of those boring numbers out of her brain.