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If you could say one thing to one character in the series

James Steller

By James Steller,
in General (ASoIaF)

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BastardlyRock Council Member

BastardlyRock

Posted
Posted

I'd tell Robert to be a good husband to Cersei. Then there wouldn't be a need to tell him to be a good father to Joffrey...I hope.

By this rationale Kyoshi I take it to mean that had Robert been a good husband from the get go there wouldn't be a Joffrey - ? If that's what you're saying then yes. I totes agree with you.

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Kyoshi Council Member

Kyoshi

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By this rationale Kyoshi I take it to mean that had Robert been a good husband from the get go there wouldn't be a Joffrey - ? If that's what you're saying then yes. I totes agree with you.

I'm totes saying that. Cersei seemed beguiled by him. I think she could have loved him, if only he had given her a chance. He never even tried.

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Diregirl Squire

Diregirl

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To Ned: "My god Ned, the Queen is a viper! Don't warn her, don't give her an ultimatum, don't count on her honour, don't count on her female weakness."


To Robert: "Get a divorce ASAP."


To Viserys: "Don't push your luck with the Dothraki."


To Robb: "When Jayne comes knocking at your door - pretend to be asleep."


To Catelyn: "DON'T. LET. HIM. LEAVE." Neither Jaime nor Ned, so this is a multipurpose line.


To Danaerys: "You've had a hard day, can I get you a coffee or something?" Because Dany has nothing but insoluble riddles thrown in her way and should have a chance to put her feet up and relax a little now and then.


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Poppa Chase Council Member

Poppa Chase

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To Viserys: stay in Pentos, eat drink and whore like your arch rival Bobby B.

To Dany: They are not your Khal to command. Allow them to rape and pillage.

To Jaime during he sack: hey don't kill the pyromancer, they could use someone with his knowledge at the wall. In fact, send all the wildfire and pyromancers.

To Aegon: dude the Imp has a little person complex, heed his advice but don't let it become you.

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King Brandon Ice Eyes Council Member

King Brandon Ice Eyes

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I'm totes saying that. Cersei seemed beguiled by him. I think she could have loved him, if only he had given her a chance. He never even tried.

She never tried either. She wasn't beguiled by him and could never love him. That is show!Cersei. Book!Cersei slept with Jaime in the day of her marriage with Robert. She never forgave him for killing Rhaegar and later for saying Lyanna during their first night. The marriage was doomed from the start and she was just as awful to him as he was awful to her.

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Kyoshi Council Member

Kyoshi

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She never tried either. She wasn't beguiled by him and could never love him. That is show!Cersei. Book!Cersei slept with Jaime in the day of her marriage with Robert. She never forgave him for killing Rhaegar and later for saying Lyanna during their first night. The marriage was doomed from the start and she was just as awful to him as he was awful to her.

You could be right. Somehow I just remember it in the books as well. I suppose I would also tell Cersei that Rhaegar was another ghost and Robert a real man. In the end neither gave the other a chance. Neither tried to be honest. And the kingdom bled for it.

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Ivashanko Sellsword

Ivashanko

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Good topic!

That would be my first choice. As you already said it, I will pick something else.

To Ned, "Do not tell Cersie what you know, she is plotting to kill Robert and that will force her hand, you need to be clever about this and not move until Stannis and Renly are ready to back you."

Runner up, to Robb, "Do not send Theon to his father, no matter what you offer, Balon will not ally himself with you, instead warn the North about the Iron Born and have them send seasoned men to the coast to drive up the coming invasion."

3rd place, to Joffery, it's not so much saying anything as it is handing him off to Ramsey to be Ramsey's new play thing.

I think it is pretty clear that Balon was going to attack the North, Theon or no Theon. Though sending Theon back didn't work out very well, given what happened at Winterfell, but Robb's choice wasn't out and out idiotic. He couldn't have expected Balon to do something as strategically questionable as attacking his only available ally (and an ally who owns much poorer lands than other potential foes), or that Theon would rush at Winterfell like he did.

Anyways, I would and explain to Ned everything that would happen on his way down south, and explain about Cersei's kids and tell him what would happen if he tried to save them. I'd also tell him that I would intervene and save the children (a lie, but one that might sooth his conscious). When everything I said would happen comes to pass Ned would move (hopefully relatively stealthily) against Cersei. Given that he'd realize I obvious have awesome powers, he'd likely believe I would indeed save the children, and thus wouldn't worry too much about their safety when he eventually tells the King what happened.

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Hodor's Dragon Council Member

Hodor's Dragon

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I notice a lot of people wanting to give advice that, if taken, would've prevented all the story complications in AGOT from ever happening. Sorry, Ned's a nice guy, but if he didn't die we don't have this story. Die, Ned, it's all for the best.



Also, most people are breaking the rules: 1 thing to 1 character. Hmmph. :pimp:



I really want Dany to find out stuff. I would either tell her about Jon or tell her to concentrate on making diplomatic overtures to the Tyrells. Not sure which, but I'd say telling her all about everything is against the rules. Not telling her to leave Meereen, as several others have, I'm sure she can figure out when to do that. Her job there is not done.


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James Arryn Council Member

James Arryn

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Tyrion Do not, and I mean DO NOT have anything to do with Shae. She will only bring you heart ache and misery + get you thrown into a cell + now you are a murderer. Run Tyrion away from her and don't look back.

Is that Jaime and Brienne in your av? If so, has he had another run in with Goat, this time losing his feet? She's supposed to be a couple inches taller, not half a foot or more.

/completely pointless critique

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James Arryn Council Member

James Arryn

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Ha..well...I didn't draw it...I just like it!

No worries. I am apparently grumpy.

To make ammends, I'll contrbute the greatest single thing anyone could tell an ASOIAF character.

To Hot Pie:

2 cups heavy cream

1 cup whole milk

2/3 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 vanilla bean, scraped

Combine and chill. Serve iced.

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King Tyrion I Council Member

King Tyrion I

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Tyrion Do not, and I mean DO NOT have anything to do with Shae. She will only bring you heart ache and misery + get you thrown into a cell + now you are a murderer. Run Tyrion away from her and don't look back.

Oh, yeah. Pretty much this.

No worries. I am apparently grumpy.

To make ammends, I'll contrbute the greatest single thing anyone could tell an ASOIAF character.

To Hot Pie:

2 cups heavy cream

1 cup whole milk

2/3 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 vanilla bean, scraped

Combine and chill. Serve iced.

You killed it. :lmao: But it really fits Hot Pie.

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