Alester Florent Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 We all know that Loras Tyrell is a terrible person. After all, he: Seduces his sister's husband Cheats in a tourney against Gregor Clegane Kills two of his friends in cold blood Makes a terrible metaphor about lost love Leads Sansa on so she thinks she's going to marry him, only for grandma to say it's actually his lame brother Projects serious gay vibes around Tommen, possibly turning the king into a gay (Thanks for this one, Cersei) But for his worst crime we have to go back to AGoT and the Tourney of the Hand, when he selfishly forfeits the final round to the Hound. As we know, at least one person, and probably several thousand if not tens of thousands of people, were going to bet their life savings on him to win the tournament after his previous successes against Jaime Lannister. By forfeiting, he bankrupts all those people, most likely causing the financial crisis that leads eventually to the riots in King's Landing. He probably did this with an eye on the long game, knowing that if Preston Greenfield (and other Kingsguard) were killed in the riots that would open up a spot for him. Getting his face burned off was too good for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 I tried to delete only the reply to last statement but accidentally deleted the whole thing. Just putting it back here, dunno how the formatting will work. Yeah, I know it’s a sort of mock thread but still. Seduces his sister's husband No, his sister knowingly married his lover of many years Cheats in a tourney against Gregor Clegane Smarts over brute force, good for him. Also, as far as I know there are no rules against riding a mare in heat in tourneys Kills two of his friends in cold blood Kills two friends b/c he believed they were involved in the murder of his lover and kind, in grief and despair. Makes a terrible metaphor about lost love I thought it was touching, YMMV Leads Sansa on so she thinks she's going to marry him, only for grandma to say it's actually his lame brother Projects serious gay vibes around Tommen, possibly turning the king into a gay (Thanks for t ok, I now know this is a “joke”. I don’t find it funny b/c there’s just too many wackos who actually believe this insanity, so I’ll moderate but keep my original: what the actual fuck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craving Peaches Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 Just now, kissdbyfire said: Please, tell me this is a troll thread and a not-so-good attempt at humour... please. I am 99.9% certain that it is in response to the Robb's worst sin thread. Adelstein made a similar thread about Lyman Darry in response to one of the other Stark Hate threads. I do not think there is any reason to worry. 14 minutes ago, Adelstein said: Kills two of his friends in cold blood It was in hot blood not cold blood. 14 minutes ago, Adelstein said: Getting his face burned off was too good for him. Failed to defend King Renly. Yes it was likely impossible to defend from the shadow assassin, but he didn't even try. He wasn't even there. Unforgivable!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 2 minutes ago, Craving Peaches said: I am 99.9% certain Phew, that's a relief. I was almost stroking out here. ps: I still think some things shouldn't be said, even in jest... like the last one on that list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craving Peaches Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 Just now, kissdbyfire said: Phew, that's a relief. I was almost stroking out here. It's getting too hard to tell. I might start putting my jokes in italics again. Otherwise I can do a very good mimic. It might be too convincing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alester Florent Posted February 19, 2023 Author Share Posted February 19, 2023 8 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said: I am sorry but what? WHAT? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK????? Please, tell me this is a troll thread and a not-so-good attempt at humour... please. There's some white text to help contextualise that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 Just now, Adelstein said: There's some white text to help contextualise that one i didn't see anything. And you can roll your eyes all you want, but sadly comments like that are made in all seriousness every day all over the interwebs and we live in a time where there's just too much hate and violence towards the LGBTQIA+ community for me to just assume you were only making a not at all funny joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craving Peaches Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 1 minute ago, kissdbyfire said: i didn't see anything. If you highlight the end of the bullet point sentence you can see that it is just making fun of Cersei's silly paranoid assumption and is not serious. But I didn't spot it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanF Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 6 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said: i didn't see anything. And you can roll your eyes all you want, but sadly comments like that are made in all seriousness every day all over the interwebs and we live in a time where there's just too much hate and violence towards the LGBTQIA+ community for me to just assume you were only making a not at all funny joke. Actually, I did think it quite funny. It works as (a) making fun of Cersei’s absurd prejudices (b) making fun of the stupid arguments that get advanced on some threads. Were she alive today, Cersei would be Marjorie Taylor Greene, spewing out hate-filled comments as if she’s demon-possessed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alester Florent Posted February 19, 2023 Author Share Posted February 19, 2023 22 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said: Many like it, it's not for me to judge how people express their feelings. So, there's a personal story here, which is that I once made a very similar remark about an ex shortly after a breakup, and the response I got from my friends was "Jesus Christ, please never say that again". And on sober reflection when the initial heartbreak had worn off I agreed with them. So when a couple of years later I came to read the books and encountered that line it stood out like a sore thumb and I've never been able to take it seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craving Peaches Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 20 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said: I still think some things shouldn't be said, even in jest... like the last one on that list. I think it was only included because Cersei herself alluded to it, not just because the OP just wanted to make a joke. So in essence it is a joke about how ridiculous Cersei is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 15 minutes ago, Adelstein said: So, there's a personal story here, which is that I once made a very similar remark about an ex shortly after a breakup, and the response I got from my friends was "Jesus Christ, please never say that again". And on sober reflection when the initial heartbreak had worn off I agreed with them. So when a couple of years later I came to read the books and encountered that line it stood out like a sore thumb and I've never been able to take it seriously. Sorry, didn't mean to laugh at your heartbreak, but the way you said that was kind of funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alester Florent Posted February 19, 2023 Author Share Posted February 19, 2023 17 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said: Sorry, didn't mean to laugh at your heartbreak, but the way you said that was kind of funny. Its fair enough. It was a long time ago, and, you know, tragedy plus time equals comedy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 On 2/19/2023 at 10:14 AM, SeanF said: Were she alive today, Cersei would be Marjorie Taylor Greene, spewing out hate-filled comments as if she’s demon-possessed. Nah. Cersei isn’t as smart or as stable as she likes to think she is, but even she isn’t anywhere near as dumb and insane as MTG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanF Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 2 hours ago, kissdbyfire said: Nah. Cersei isn’t as smart or as stable as she likes to think she is, but even she isn’t anywhere near as dumb and insane as MTG. MTG is horrid, but probably cleverer than she appears. She’s playing to the gallery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugorfonics Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 Cersei is doing everything in her power to keep the realm united. Marjorie Greene today, on fucking Presidents Day, called for a "national divorce". She's a different breed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 42 minutes ago, SeanF said: MTG is horrid, but probably cleverer than she appears. She’s playing to the gallery. She’s beyond horrid… and yeah, I think there’s a level of low cunning at play there but she’s just so ignorant and stupid imo. Gazpacho police? Peach tree dish? These are funny and not too offensive but other stuff that comes out of her mouth is just… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanF Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 21 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said: She’s beyond horrid… and yeah, I think there’s a level of low cunning at play there but she’s just so ignorant and stupid imo. Gazpacho police? Peach tree dish? These are funny and not too offensive but other stuff that comes out of her mouth is just… /cdn-cgi/mirage/d061fbc8a99b74d9127f1b0a19a8d29641ec2a7e3541937299ee1540bc7d0bf1/1280/https://asoiaf.westeros.org/uploads/emoticons/default_eek.gif Jewish space lasers is the best. Forsyth County, in Georgia, where she spent her formative years, has an interesting history, according to a friend of mine, who’s an Alabama journalist. The black population were driven out in 1912. Then blacks started back moving in, in the eighties. This triggered massive protests locally, with black families finding burning crosses opposite their homes. One of my friend’s journalist colleagues was a black woman, who was sent to cover the protests. Over the course of six hours she was called “n****r” 31 times (she made a note, each time). My friend thinks that whether or not MTG participated in the protests, they must have influenced her hugely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 3 minutes ago, SeanF said: Jewish space lasers is the best. The list is sooooooo long! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sifth Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 How did Loras cheat, when he faced Gregor again? That one never quite made sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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