The Wolf Maid Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Now that Confessor is done I needed something new to read. I grabbed a book on Inquisiton and found quite quickly that the descriptions of torture aren't nearly as interesting as Tairy's. Those Catholics had no idea what torture was. Reading Confessor, THAT was torture. Take on any of the following: Eng, St*nek, Newcomb or Weber. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Take on any of the following: Eng, St*nek, Newcomb or Weber. While I admit those authors probably should be dealt with, umm, it's not going to be me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nobelpoke Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 If that's her on the cover, her jugs aren't nearly as big as I thought they'd be. word-for-word quote from nearly the end of the third Sword of Truth book, Blood of the Fold. Berdine gestured with her pear. "Lord Rahl has very big hands. They fit perfectly over my breasts." One eyebrow lifted up over a green eye. "Really." "Yes." Berdine observed. "He had us all show him our breasts one day." "Is that right? All of you." Cara and Raina waited without expression as Berdine nodded. Richard put a hand over his face. Berdine took another bite of her pear. "But his big hands fit best over my breasts." Kahlan ambled toward the door. "Well, my breasts aren't as large as yours, Berdine." She slowed as she passed Raina. "I think Raina's hands would fit mine better." Berdine choked and coughed on her bite of pear as Kahlan strolled from the room. A smile spread on Raina's lips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exa Inova Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 "Well, my breasts aren't as large as yours, Berdine." She slowed as she passed Raina. "I think Raina's hands would fit mine better." So how big are Raina's hands? If Dick is a tall man, taller than most, his hands must be big, bigger than most. What does this say about Berdine's cupsize? Has she C? D? DD? Bigger? How about Klan's cupsize? And the most important question of all: what's up with Dick's mommysyndrome? I'll bet breastfeeders are haters of life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdanel Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 On a slightly related issue, I decided to write an analysis of the freely available sample chapter of The Hickory Staff, the first book of the Eldarn trilogy by Robert Scott and Jay Gordon. No point in making a new thread for a one-off nobody else here has apparently heard of. No point in using spoiler tags either, I think. Introduction Some random old guy is boating in his ship and being uninteresting. Then his wife strangles him and throws his body overboard. There's no (successful) tension or emotional investment or anything. It just happens. The wife has a mysterious wound in her hand which is obviously meant to be a significant indicator of her possession. Some other guy finds himself in the ocean, but luckily near enough the shore to swim to. Since his location of appearance is apparently entirely random, he's amazingly lucky. What's more, he's near the coast of America, his home country! Wow! That takes some luck! All the way from a mysterious, hinted-at fantasy world, that's some targeting! Our guy asks a conveniently located random sleepy beach drunk where exactly he is (Folly Beach, South Carolina), and thanks him by stealing his conveniently easy-to-snatch car keys and car in the presence of convenient zero witnesses. (This guy is supposed to be our hero.) Book 1 The story switches to a fantasy world, and we get introduced to some royals. "Hold on for a moment, Aunt Detria-" She was always called Aunt although she was actually his cousin... The royals are rather confusing, and it sounds like even they can't keep themselves straight, or maybe they are just illogical. Anyway, the poor reader could really use a family tree. The royals are all cousins who rule different countries (and their children), and they are about to have talks about reunification to get rid of such problems as "inflated tariffs". Markon imagined the great nation of Eldarn reborn, reconstructed into five equal nation-states, where all citizend could enjoy freedom, equity, and opportunity to build a meaningful life. FYI, Eldarn is your standard pseudo-medieval fantasy-land even though the above passage sounds bizarrely modern. They measure time in Twinmoons though, and no, I have no idea how long a Twinmoon is. (Would some people really use something as unintuitive as two months as their basic unit of time? Is the astronomy of Eldarn's planet similar to ours? Do they have years with winters and summers, or dry and wet seasons?) Meanwhile (or maybe slightly later) yet another royal, this one heir to the Ronan throne, is alone(!) in the woods hunting wild hogs and being useless. Then he gets hit by the hand-wound thing. "What sort of demon virus is this?" he screamed... Instead of being simply possessed like the female characters this happens to, the prince goes blind and has some weird visions of pretty colors and sounds he can control with his mind. We get his horse's POV, and the prince is acting insane but definitely not possessed. It sounds like the prince's innate magical talents are awakening, or something. Back in the capital, the banquet of the royals is starting, and two more never-before-seen royals are talking about yet another Eldarn component that wasn't mentioned earlier. "They have magic, though," Marek interrupted. "They do, but you're right, they're peace-loving. They'd be overrun before they finished arguing about whether or not to use it." Oh, Gookind-level politics... Also in this section, the already-confusing royals and their respective home countries become impossible to keep track of without a spreadsheet. Introducing way too many things way too fast is an elementary mistake, and completely consistent with the quality of writing seen thus far. After a while, the Mr. Visionary Royal introduced earlier (but whose identity is easy to forget) arrives and gets apparently poisoned somehow or somesuch and collapses in a feat of remarkable lack of story tension regardless of any potential dramatic potential... ...which means it's time to transition to a (post-)sex scene later on. The POV remains the same. "Lords, my dear cousin, but we must do that again, immediately," he told her, already beginning to feel his body respond to his desire. They had taken each other furiously, without care or compassion, both fighting a selfish battle for physical pleasure. "Oh yes, my dear cousin..." She leaned into him, her breasts brushing against the sides of his face. I suppose GRRM is such a big thing that everyone needs to have incest now in order to be edgy. Unfortunately, the royal cousin is suddenly possessed with the bleeding hand thing and kills her lover with a wine bottle. There still isn't any tension and I still don't are about any of the characters. For all the action we've had in these 12 pages, everything has been really boring, and most of the time has been spent on useless dialogue or straight infodump. It's like the authors wanted to get rid of action bits as quickly as possible and only treated them cursorily so that they could get back into pointless chatter. In his last moments, he ran his fingers over those perfect breasts he had been lusting after all evening. There's some random breast touching for the 15-year-old demographic, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Heh, shit-book-trashing is everyone's new hobby, it seems. Fantastic! I'm sure I can dig out some more crap when I get home, too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nobelpoke Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 i remember some sci-fi series where the author had a fetish for fat chicks. And the last thing we hear from the muscular guy's wife, who was a fat chick he married out of love: "Aye....i'll miss him.....and his cock....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Hey, this only for Goodkind trashing! God, how do these authors get published? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted November 21, 2007 Author Share Posted November 21, 2007 They get published very carelessly? *Gives a raptor-like gaze to the comment on this page* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 They get published very carelessly? *Gives a raptor-like gaze to the comment on this page* In any case, i must echo the question: Sales figures for Confessor? Is it on the NY list? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Who's Eng? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Who's Eng? Here is more info about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 In any case, i must echo the question: Sales figures for Confessor? Is it on the NY list? Couldn't find any sales figures, but while searching I came upon the Christian Guide to Fantasy. It reviewed Tairy's crap (funny where you can find some allies). In one of the threads a tairy defender posted some tairy comments that I don't recall reading before: "In the manuscript of Wizard's First Rule, which is twice as long as the book because it's double-spaced, there's a little tiny bitty torture scene with a woman named Denna, which lasts 70 pages. (Laughter) When my editor first saw this, he said, "Well, Terry, this is way too much and we need to cut down the explicit torture and violence." The reason he said this is because I was successful in accomplishing my goal, and my goal was not to write about torture. My goal was to write about the true nature of abuse. The true nature of abuse is not violence or torture. What I was doing in that scene was showing you graphically the true nature, the true terror, of abuse. I did that by trapping you in Richard's soul. Once I had you trapped in his soul, then you, too, became a captive of Denna. The reason it's so terrifying is because you can't bargain your way out of it, you can't buy your way out of it, you can't escape, and, most importantly, you cannot reason your way out if it. At the base of human survival is reason. Richard is not able to use that most important human faculty of reason to escape. That is the terror of abuse: helplessness. " When you understand what it's like to be helpless, and under the control of another individual who is irrational, then you know the true terror of abuse. Now, if I would have written a story about a man married to a woman, and he drinks and beats her all the time, and she's trapped in this relationship, it might go right over your head because you've heard it so many times. Fantasy allows me to show you in a new way why abuse is so degrading -in a way you've never seen before because it surprises you to come at it like this, in this manner, and you discover yourself trapped in this character, Richard. You then understand what he's experiencing. When my editor and I went back, line by line, sentence by sentence, he discovered that there's only about a page or a page and a half in the beginning where it actually describes physical violence. The rest of the seventy pages are so torturous because you understand, now, how horrifying helplessness is. " "You asked how I feel about the fact that some of my readers are younger people, age 10 and 11. In a word? Nervous. I write with the intention that it's for adults, and until recently never really knew young people were reading them. When anyone asks if their child can read it, I always tell them that they should read it first and be the ones to decide. Some parents have thanked me, saying they loved the book but its too mature for their twelve-year-old. Others have said they passed it on to their ten-year-old, and that it wasn't as bad as the evening news, and a lot better that the video games. I must say, though, that I've been very surprised by the intelligence and insight of these young readers. I've come to find that adults are much more concerned by the adult nature of some of the scenes than the younger readers are. Maybe adults can understand better the horrors involved, and it simply goes over the heads of the youngest, or maybe young people are more mature now than I was at that age, and can put it in perspective. One of my local fans, who is 10, has talked her teacher into inviting me to her school to talk to her class about writing. I was surprised to learn that most of her classmates had read and loved my books. I guess that I'd have to say that if by reading something they love, they come to love reading, then it's a good thing. But it still makes me squirm. " Doesn't seem like they've reviewed GRRM yet. Edit: I should add that, after further review, that site is a bit....uh....wierd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Here is more info about him. Wow. Just ..... wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted November 21, 2007 Author Share Posted November 21, 2007 You know you loved every single celerious moment there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Wow. Just ..... wow. I know. It's also disturbing the someone commented that he seems to resemble the guy who did the VA shooting. You know you loved every single celerious moment there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max the Mostly Mediocre Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Couldn't find any sales figures, but while searching I came upon the Christian Guide to Fantasy. It reviewed Tairy's crap (funny where you can find some allies). In one of the threads a tairy defender posted some tairy comments that I don't recall reading before: Doesn't seem like they've reviewed GRRM yet. Edit: I should add that, after further review, that site is a bit....uh....wierd. Just a bit weird? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Just a bit weird? Compared to Goodkind, Eng, Newcomb and Stanek...yes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Compared to Goodkind, Eng, Newcomb and Stanek...yes? It's not fair to compare anything to the above mentioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 That Christian Rreview site's review of WFR is actually spot on and pretty good. I love this part: After Richard is torn away from his home - after his father is gruesomely killed and Richard suffers little character development or his brother gropes his girl and Richard suffers little character development - we journey around the Obligatory Map wherein very little character develops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.