Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 Who the hell was this Josh traitor guy again? And wtf just happened in that battle? They flew into an invisible chasm and then netted an entire army? Josh was the Consul they rescued close to the beginning of the book. He went with Geldon to Parthalon. Basically, he was a nobody character since the Duke couldn't be bother to figure out how to write someone lying. And yep, that's how the battle ended. Cool, huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 So, what's the thrilling finale? Lemme guess: A deus ex machina that would make even the Yeard proud? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Goddamn, just reading the PLOT of this book, it sounds so horrible I can't think this is by accident. This has to be some sort of great joke by the author. Right? Please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sal Paradise Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 That has to be the stupidest fucking ending I have ever heard. Take some time off before reading the next installment. You have earned it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 He's earned nothing. He's polluted our minds. We must DEVOUR HIS. Yes, The Duke turns people into zombies. discuss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sal Paradise Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 discuss Ok. Do you think that Newcomb plots out these 'novels' in advance, or sits down every morning (or every night - I like to think of him as nocturnal) and just pounds out whatever comes into his head, in a perversion of stream of conciousness? This would be similar to the final 80 pages of Confessor that were written in a 48 hour flurry and are Raw Goodkind. I like to think of Newcomb rereading whatever he worked on the day before and being completely surprised, and reacting accordingly. This would actually account for the lack of coherent plot and complete absence of logic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I like to think that the Duke just strings words together at random; it helps me sleep at night, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 Oh dear... You guys thought that was the ending. Oh, and you're disgusted too. Well that was not the ending, it was the climactic battle. The ending is coming... Right now. Well, most of it anyways. Tristan wakes up again on his hatchling and thinks about how sad and miserable and sore and sad and uncomfortable and tired and sick and pathetic and stupid and miserable and angry and frustrated and sore he is. Then he goes back to sleep. Yes, that was a chapter. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed off after that little chapter, so you'll no doubt be shocked when I say the next few are worse. The next chapter has the hatchling wake Tristan up while they're on final approach to the Gates of Dawn, towering stone monstrousities which have some sort of weirdo architecture which the Duke fails to describe. They land and Nick walks up to them. He says how overjoyed he is that Tristan has taken him up on his offer and says that all he has to do is do a polygraph Truth test to see if he's being truthful before they open the gates of dawn and rule together. Tristan takes this opportunity to refuse and then does absolutely nothing. He, after they both stand there stupidly for a while, pleads with Nick to give up his evil ways, renounce the Dark Side Vagaries and join the Light Vigours. There is still good in him yet! Anyways, Nick refuses, ridicules Tristan's stupidity, announces Ragnar's death and then starts magically torturing Tristan. After a bit of torture, dawn comes and Nick casts his spell. A great big hole appears in the sky (apparently it's like a big, bright, holish thing) and a bunch of faces pop out and start singing. Lighting flies all around the sky and thunder is constant. All sorts of crazt stuff is going on. Then the heads in the hole in the sky start screaming, Nick starts going all crazy and he dies. The hole closes and the Gates of Dawn start collapsing. Oh, and Tristan is starting up his final, death-dealing seizure. Anyways, Tristan is crawling towards Nick's body to get the antidote when a chasm opens up between them. Unable to stand the pain and knowing he'll never get to the body, Tristan pulls out the brain poker he received from Josh's corpse and is about to sue it on himself to stop the pain when the chapter ends. Now then, are you good and confused? Perhaps shocked and outraged? Ah, but all will be explained in this next bit. Tristan comes to about a week later in the care of Figg and Waegan. He is somewhat surprised at being alive and asks how it happened. Well, it turns out the wizards sent Ox and Traax after Tristan in case he needed their help. The got the antidote and applied it to Tristan before bringing him back to Shadowood. Oh, and there was even enough left for Wigg, and so he's cured of blindness as well (what, did you have too much trouble writing a blind character? Oh, wait, he only acted blind about 5% of the time anyways.). After this is explained, Tristan is satiated for a minute... Before wondering what the hell happened to cause them to win. Well, if you recall back when Wigg was examining Nick's BS a while back (I thought he was blind then... Damn it, will you never stop vexing me with your inconsistant blindness!), se discovered that there was a slight flaw in it. Apparently a person's BS is generated during the delivery process and as Nick was never actually born his was just barely incomplete. This flaw meant that he could never properly handle his full power, and when the Confluence was happening his blood couldn't take it and he died. That's about that, so the good guys pat themselves on the back for a job well done and Tristan goes back to sleep. Now then, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "WTF? You mean that it was literally impossible for the bad guy to succeed right from the start? That everything the good guys did in this entire book was pointless? That everyone could have basically stayed home and the outcome would have been the same? And the wizards knew this and they did it anyways? Wait a minute, doesn't this sound a lot like the ending to the SoT series?" Well, you're exactly right, that is all completely pointless. There was no storyline value at all. It's a damned abomination, and I don;t care who knows I think that. The only ray of hope is that you can now say that not only did TG steal lots of his world from Jordan, but he stole the ending from a person who may well be the worst Fantasy author in the entire history of mankind! Oh, and this is not the actual ending. There will be one more short entry for this book, coming tomorrow. It, however, has little story significance, so feel free to discuss at your leasure. Finally: I will not start the next volume of this series until I have finished The Lies of Locke Lamora and The Darkness that Came Before, both of which have been staring at me for weeks. So piss off about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Oh, and this is not the actual ending. There will be one more short entry for this book, coming tomorrow. :sick: Finally: I will not start the next volume of this series until I have finished The Lies of Locke Lamora and The Darkness that Came Before, both of which have been staring at me for weeks. So piss off about it. Don't even sweat it man. I need some time off from the summary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Somehow, it got WORSE. Just .... Jesus Christ ... wow..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 That first chapter you put up in that post was celery incarnate. You are my god. And that near-close-to-ending-thingy is perfect, and actually makes me want to read confessor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Holy Moly. :sick: That was awful. WTF actually happened in this book anyway? Evil Nick poisoned the heroes, they ran around pointlessly for a while, some people got killed, then they had a fight and got better and found out that Evil Nick couldn't have won anyway? The idea that the Yeard and the Duke are endlessly feeding off each other in some autocannibalistic feeding frenzy is horrible yet strangely compelling. Maybe they'll be like isolated colonies of, I dunno, guppies, and their works will interbreed so much that all their genetic flaws are multiplied until they all die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diabloblanco18 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Odd. That ending was ever so slightly better than the one in Confessor. At least the Duke included some bullshit explanation as to why his deus ex machina occurred. The Yeard, however, committed the ultimate sin and said that only the good guys could use the magic boxes, because they were pure of intelligence heart. :sick: I'm not sure which book had less happen in it, though? Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Well, the last part. Tristan, although still stupidly weak due to his poisoning, heads out completely alone to visit his parent's gravesite. When there, he gets ambushed by Scrounge, who is wielding a poisoned knife. They fight for a while and Tristan uses a dirty trick to win the fight. He goes back to the Redoubt where everyone is happy to see him. Also, it turns out Scrounge's motivation was a combination of loyalty to Ragnar and hatred for everyone who isn't an orphan. And Tristan, apparently. ETA: Minidonner, add to that "Forestallments Exist!" and "War of the Ones Who Came Before" and you have the synopsis to this book. Absolutely horrid. ETA2: Oh, and the epilogue is just that the now evilified Brotherhood of Consuls is planning something evil for Tristan. Yadda yadda yadda, Nick messed up the Tome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Odd. That ending was ever so slightly better than the one in Confessor. At least the Duke included some bullshit explanation as to why his deus ex machina occurred. The Yeard, however, committed the ultimate sin and said that only the good guys could use the magic boxes, because they were pure of intelligence heart. :sick: I'm not sure which book had less happen in it, though? Any thoughts? Yes, it is true that the Duke's explanation was better. However, let me enlighten you. The wizards in this book knew that Nick could not handle his full power. They knew that the badguy was doomed to failure, but they did everything and sacrificed thousands of lives even though they knew it was pointless. They didn't need to do anything except have a Minion snooping around the Gates for when Nick died to get the antidote. The good guys hade full knowledge that everything they did was wasted energy and sacrificed tens of thousands of Minions for no reason, knowing full well that there was no reason. That is, IMO, by far the greater travesty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atreides Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Maybe they knew that some of Nick's allies would survive and wanted their troops to get some real combat experience? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Maybe they knew that some of Nick's allies would survive and wanted their troops to get some real combat experience? These were already all veterain troops from the defeat of the Royal Guard back in book 1. Similarly, 1 in 6 Minions who went through the portal to Eutracia died as did almost half of those who participated in the battle. Does your idea still sound reasonable? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atreides Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Well, so much for a semi-logical explanation then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Well, they DID have to get rid of the flying lizards didn't they? Where the fuck did those things come from again? Out of nowhere right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Well, they DID have to get rid of the flying lizards didn't they? Where the fuck did those things come from again? Out of nowhere right? They were conjured up by Nick using one of his Forestallments. So basically yeah. Of course, they would all disappear when Nick died, so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.