Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 Well then, a few more chapters have been completed. Tristan showed up in Parthalon with Ox (who was made very sleepy by the Portal. "Portal make Ox tired. Ox sleep now.") Anyways, they eventually get moving towards the Recluse. Tristan pops over to the grave of his unborn son and digs it up, only to find it empty. He blames himself for everything that's happening in Eutracia (even though it's actually his mother's fault. Stupid skylights...) and gets kind of sad. Then the chapter ends. In the next chapter after that Wigg and Faegan agree to a dangerous plan. By which I mean they get Shailiha to come over to the room where the hatchling is being held and use her Forestallment to brainwash it. So complete is this process that it becomes fanatically loyal to her and forgets completely about it's other masters. They all decide to not let Tristan know about what happened and that chapter ends too. Oh yes... And just think that he has four more books to read! I deny thee. I have one more book to read. The second trilogy is an incredible rarity here and no copies of the books exist within acceptable distance of my library system. The only way I'm reading those books is if one of you guys manages to find a secondhand copy and mails it to me (or the library systems gets some copies in... *shudders*) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon AS Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 You know, the more of your chapter summaries I read, the more I ask myself: what the hell are these books actually about? What's the big idea, where is all of it going? Maybe I missed it, but it seems that Newcomb just writes down whatever pops into his head, and nevermind how it all fits together. I mean, even Goodkind had ideas and themes (as far as I could tell from the yeardly threads). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Side Note to your fun: Maybe good 'ole TG is on to something. The cover to the latest Duke? I saw it today. It was bad. Really really bad. It evoked thoughts of pulp romance novels to my mind... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 Well then, another chapter done. In this one Tristan wakes up in Parthalon after having had a seizure. He thinks about how the fourth seizure will kill him and how horrible they are. He then hears something going on nearby and orders Ox to take him there. When they arrive, it turns out the Minions are having one of their own special brand of trial. Called a Kachinaar, what is essentially happening is a game of Rugby. Except, of course, with the severed head of a previously guilty Minion being used for the ball. Iff one of the teams wins the prisoner is innocent wheras if the other wins he is guilty and gets fed to a swamp shrew. After the teams batter each other senseless and take a few dozen broken limbs, the innocent team wins and the Minion is set free. Thankful for this, Tristan flies in with Ox and confronts Traax, who submits to his authority. They go to a sumptuous (the only word the Duke ever uses to describe rooms) chamber to speak in private. They are brought a rediculously over done meal and Tristan learns that the head that the Minions were using to play came from a Minion who raped another Minion's Gallipolai wife. We was guilty and the guilty team won. Anyways, Tristan decides not to forbid this practise for the time being and moves on to more important matters. Tristan orders Traax to mobilize the Minions and bring them to the Portal location, where they will be moved to Eutracia to deal with the Scarabs and hatchlings. Traax, greatly looking foreward to the battle, gets Tristan to describe the enemies and the situation before they go into more specific orders. At this point the narrative gets a little muddled, and even after carefully reading through it a second time I don't really understand parts of it. Basically, Traax has five days to muster a couple hundred thousand Minions and bring them to the portal location. Then there's something weird about boats and how the journey by boat would take 35 days, even though in TFS when they went across it took them 20 days. Tristan learns about the Necrophagians (I thought they were called Necrophages?), and says something about the wizards dealing with it when it becomes a problem before ordering Traax to be at the portal with his legions in five days time. He denies that he is sick, saying that the blackened veins running all through his arm are the result of an already-healing battle wound and the chapter ends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 So then, this one'll be a threeforeone. The first of these three is... Well, Wigg and Faegan are in a room. The room is the antechamber to the Well of the Redoubt. They spread some blue stuff all over the floor and levetate out of the room. Yep, exactly 1.5 pages long, and it therefore fits into the largest chapter so far over 20 times. Thank you, Duke, for your excellent consistency. The next chapter has Tristan back at the Redoubt explaining exactly what happened in Parthalon. The wizards are pleased about the whole getting the Minions to come thing, but refuse to let them go by boat. No reason to risk those nasty necrophages after all. They are distressed about the other details, especially the part where Tristan had a seizure, since it means his poisoning is getting worse. After they send word to Traax to come to the portal (how do they send word? And didn't Tristan already decide this? Well, nobody said the Duke has to make sense.) before taking Tristan up to the palace to cheer him up. They eventually arrive outside of the old throneroom and walk in to find... Yes, that's right, the brainwashed hatchling with a saddle on. If you did not see this coming, raise your hand. The wizards and Shailiha convince Tristan it is an ally and that Shailiha had no part in the whole thing. They also convince him that having a flying steed only makes sense when one leads a flying army. Well, that is convenient! Regardless, Tristan goes for a ride on it and what follows is possibly the best written segment in the entirety of what I've read of the Duke's work so far. It is not only passable, but almost enjoyable. I cannot describe to you how amazing such a gem is in this book, but believe me, it was entirely unexpected and wholly welcome. Oh, it is completely unimportant to the plot, but 4 pages of decent writing is in itself a great achievement. The third chapter takes place back in the Redoubt, with a wholly cheered up Tristan and the gang standing outside of the Well of the Redoubt. Apparently, something important is about to happen. Josh arrives and Faegan states that someone among the gathering is working for Nick. He then accuses Josh. Josh initially denies it, but when the group walks into the antechamber the wizards make the floor turn blue (because of the blue stuff they put on earlier) and a set of footprints is discovered leading to the Well (the Paragon is being stored, temporarily, in the Well). In what is actually a decent series of accusations, Wigg proves quite thouroughly that Josh is evil and helping Nick steal the power of the Paragon at an increased rate. They capture Nick and are about to start interrogating him more forcefully when he explains that most of the Consuls have joined up with Nick because he offered them more power and time enchantments (immortality). He talks a bit more about Nick's plan, but nothing else of importance is said and he commits suicide by stabbing himself in the brain by shoving a really slender knife into his ear. Wigg laments the treacherousity of the Consuls and assumes that there are lots and lots of them working for the bad guys. Then the chapter ends. A final note: the word azure has now completely replaced the word blue. Everything which would normally be described as blue is now azure. Finally, the word azure is used, on average, over twice a page for a total usage of over 1000 times in the book. This is, in fact, a record. No other book, including the most complex of thesaureses uses this word so often. Congratulations are in order for the Duke's amazing breakthrough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I saw this thing once... Citing a thesaurus does not constitute validity. Or something like that. But the duke wrote 4 pages well? Maybe I'll feed the duke. It's not like it's going to The Yeard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 I saw this thing once... Citing a thesaurus does not constitute validity. Or something like that. But the duke wrote 4 pages well? Maybe I'll feed the duke. It's not like it's going to The Yeard. You... you actually plan to read this series? After reading the summaries? You are braver than I thought. And quite likely stupider and more bored as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Or D) All of the above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sal Paradise Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Just to corroborate everything being stated here (not that it is necessary), I am here to report that last night I was in the bookstore and I made the mistake of sampling The Duke's first offering to the world, that literary abortion, The Fifth Sorceress. Mercifully, my eyes began to water after a few pages (a conditioned bodily response?) so I had to put the book down. I then sat in the Cafe section of the store for a full ten minutes, stroking my temples until the ringing stopped. We must commend once again those with the fortitude and endurance to report on these atrocities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williamjm Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 We must commend once again those with the fortitude and endurance to report on these atrocities. Indeed, it is difficult to imagine the fortitude required to summarise these books. I'm beginning to suspect Daedalus v2.0 may, in fact, be some sort of cunningly programmed robot. Presumably the second version of said robot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 6, 2008 Author Share Posted January 6, 2008 Well then, it's that time again. The next chapter is essentially just Nick gloating about how his imminent victory is both imminent and unavoidable. He is convinced Tristan will come over to the dark side. That's all. Next up is Tristan standing outside of the Palace. Faegan has been holding a portal, oversized for extra transfer-rate, open for quite a while, but the draining of the Paragon has led to a decrease in his powers and the portal is somewhat unstable, killing roughly one Minion in six to cross through. Many of the Minions have made it through, however, especially among the officer corps. Those same officers are now being quartered in the Palace, with the intent of creating a loyalty in them towards the country and it's people. Tristan and Traax are disturbed by this terrible, ignoble loss of life, but they see it as necessary. Both are looking very much foreward to killing off Nick and his hatchlings. The next chapter after this is Wigg and Faegan trying to persuade Shailiha to go into hiding. Initially she refuses, saying she wants to stay and help Tristan fight, but eventually the wizards persuade her and she agrees to go with them to Shadowood. The final chapter in this strange quadrology is back in Nick's domain, where the Gates of Dawn have finally been completed. Nick remarks on how Tristan has two days before the Gates will be actuvated to join their cause, before gathering up all of the Consuls he mind-controlled (internal consistency? In a Duke book? My lord, if the prose hadn't seriously declined in quality not too long ago, I might think he was improving) and having them executed. The loyal, evil-by-choice Consuls are safely waiting... well, somewhere else. He then orders Scrounge off to Fledgeling House to rest up and prepare himself to lead the hatchlings out the next day and wipe Tristan's Minion hordes away once and for all. After Scrounge has left, Nick tells Ragnar how anything that doesn't happen to be a Vagaries-practising endowed person of untainted blood does not deserve to exist in his new world. Since Ragnar is a blood stalker, that pretty much precludes him. So, nick kills him gruesomely and tosses his cadaver to the carrion beetles. He will inflict the same treatment on Scrounge and the rest of his underlings (save the evil Consuls) after his inevitable victory. Oh, how very evilishly evil this man is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 That reminds me of the scene in Stone of Tears where, to prove the villain is evil, there's shit everywhere. The Duke is quite an author. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 I have completificated the book, and I must say... well actually, I'll save that for when it's necessary. Suffice to say that I have lost any respect for the Duke gained by the several quality pages and decently thought out chapters I've seen. But, without further ado, the preamble to the grand finale. First up is Tristan is a room in the palace meeting with Traax (and Ox, for some strange reason) to discuss strategy. No, we get nothing specific, but you can be sure that both are exceptionally brilliant tacticians. Regardless, they make their plans and then Wigg and Faegan walk into the room (yes, Faegan walks in with Wigg. Wigg the blind wizard leads the way. Ugh...) and they all go over their plans. The wizards agree, and then realize that something is going on outside. The group all dash to the balcony, where they look up to discover scrounge in an airplain riding his hatchling and writing a message in the sky. It's basically just "Hey prince T, I hate you and will enjoy killing you slowly and painfully. Love, Scrounge." So, they go back inside and Wigg says the wizards need to talk to Tristan alone. So, the Minions walk out and the Wizards tell Tristan that they plan to flee the Palace with shailiha and they would like some support from the Minions to allow them to do so. Tristan, who through his incredible intellectual capacity had already known this would happen, has already approved such measures. Then he has another seizure and blacks out. The next chapter is in Tristan's bedroom. Shailiha comes in first and says a heartfelt goodbye before Celeste comes in, tells Tristan that she likes him and knows he likes her, gives him a scented hankee to bring into battle (ooh, a Lady's favor) and says goodbye. Shailiha comes back in, says "Trust the process, Chosen One." and leaves. Oh, and Traax still acknowledges Tristan as his lord despite knowing of his weakness. In fact, it only strengthens his urge to pound on the bad guys. After this, the wizards and Shai head over to Shadowood and start doing... well, something vague which will clearly result in some important victory for the good guys and which is obviously vague to preserve narrative suspense (in case you don't get it, I'm pissed off at the Duke for always having the wizards do "something incompletely described and vague" which ends up being absolutely critical.). Anyways, that's it. After this comes the big climax, but especially the great big battle. I bet you all can't wait for the next installment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 Well then, it's time for the Great Big Battle. Tristan walks out of the Palace to find the Minion hordes assembled for battle. However, in a rather interesting (not) twist, they're arrayed under the banners of House Galand (see- Tristan's family). Tristan goes all teary-eyed about the 'honor' they're doing to him, while I attempt to mask my impatience. Tristan makes a nice (pathetic) speech about how they have to win the battle and all that junk before hopping onto his hatchling and leading the hordes into the sky (notice- horde in this case means about 60k troops.) Oh, and the Minion troops are outnumbered just over 2 to 1 (what? That's barely overwhelming at all, comsidering that these are supposed to be uber-elite troops and the hatchlings have had literally no military training. Why is this battle not a cakewalk?) so they'll have to do really really well to win. So, off they go. They fly for a while before encountering the evil hatchling armada led by none other than Scrounge himself. Scrounge flies over and asks the Minions to surrender, in which case their deaths will be short and painless (wait, what? Their choices are going into battle and likely dying cleanly from a long drop to the ground or being executed? What the hell kind of offer is that?). Tristan, predictable (and for once intelligently) denies the offer and it's war time! The battle starts off with both sides 'charging' each other. Then they start fighting. Tristan kills a few of the beasties while looking for Scrounge. Eventually, he discovers the bad guy beating on Minions, so invokes the "You must know my name!" law by yelling at the top of his lungs and waiting for the assassin/general to actually see him before he attacks. Needless to say, he has a difficult time with this, and at one point almost gets shot by Scrounge's mini-crossbow. Tristan, of course, being the One manages to dodge the close-range shots and tosses a dagger into Scrounge's shoulder and chopping him up a bit with his sword. Tristan, realising despite the clever cloud-based ambush he prepared the Minions are losing, orders the retreat. At that very moment his hatchling goes all crazy, says "Trust the process, Chosen One." and starts flying east. The Minions, having been told to retreat, follow. Eventually they come to Shadowood and fly into the invisible chasm there. The hatchlings follow them and Wigg and Faegan take the opportunity to use the troops they took with them to trap the hatchlings in a big net and execute them while helpless. Another come from behind win for the good guys! Anyways, before he has a chance to do anything Tristan's hatchling takes off again, this time heading for the Gates of Dawn. Tristan decides that since the demonic scaled bird-lizard-man is doing all the work, he might as well get some sleep. And that's it for this section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 Do you have a question, friend? Or are you simply dumbfounded by the incredible battle which has just been retold to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 No no, no no. Sometimes questions can be dangerous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watcher Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 This may be asking to much but does the Duke explain the logistics for supporting 60K+ plus troops? That's has to involve a massive effort just to feed and house those guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 This may be asking to much but does the Duke explain the logistics for supporting 60K+ plus troops? That's has to involve a massive effort just to feed and house those guys. No. Logistics are for foos. There are no supplies and no food is provided by the peoples of Eutracia. You were stupid to even ask if the Duke would deign to find a way to feed Triastan's army. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Who the hell was this Josh traitor guy again? And wtf just happened in that battle? They flew into an invisible chasm and then netted an entire army? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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