Beware the fl00b!

[Lady Nerevar]

As a long-time lurker and first time poster*, I feel that I should formally register myself in this thread lest I be labeled a n00b. If ya'll don't mind, I'll pay my tax directly in booze. Its the least I could do for all the entertainment this board has given me over the years :cheers:

*now that several silly posts have thankfully been purged by the board

[Phoenix]

As a long-time lurker and first time poster*, I feel that I should formally register myself in this thread lest I be labeled a n00b. If ya'll don't mind, I'll pay my tax directly in booze. Its the least I could do for all the entertainment this board has given me over the years :cheers:

*now that several silly posts have thankfully been purged by the board

Now, I can't speak for JaimeL, but, I suspect (and I'm almost certain I'm right about this) that he will accept your n00b tax as a direct booze payment.

[Sandsnake]

I'm just posting this to see my join date :leaving:

[Solmyr]

Now, I can't speak for JaimeL, but, I suspect (and I'm almost certain I'm right about this) that he will accept your n00b tax as a direct booze payment.

Now we just have to think of a way to wire booze across borders.

[Mlle. Zabzie]

Now we just have to think of a way to wire booze across borders.

Maybe we'll just set up a booze bank. One pays in a certain number of credits in local currency (we will have to figure out equivalencies - i.e., how many PBRs = 1 Lagavulin neat.) You could then draw on your local depositary :) I'm sure it can be done though.

[Phoenix]

Maybe we'll just set up a booze bank. One pays in a certain number of credits in local currency (we will have to figure out equivalencies - i.e., how many PBRs = 1 Lagavulin on the rocks. You could then draw on your local depositary :) I'm sure it can be done though.

Brilliant!

I expect that in all non-hipster infested areas it will take a lot of PBR to equal 1 Lagavulin. In areas of higher hipster concentration, I think it will take several Lagavulins and perhaps a Balvenie to get 1 lousy PBR.

[Mlle. Zabzie]

Brilliant!

I expect that in all non-hipster infested areas it will take a lot of PBR to equal 1 Lagavulin. In areas of higher hipster concentration, I think it will take several Lagavulins and perhaps a Balvenie to get 1 lousy PBR.

Thanks! You are undoubtedly correct. I also imagine there will be some contentiousness surrounding the appropriate exchange rate for sparkling fermented grape based beverages.

[Phoenix]

Thanks! You are undoubtedly correct. I also imagine there will be some contentiousness surrounding the appropriate exchange rate for sparkling fermented grape based beverages.

You're welcome!

And, assuredly. This argument is inevitable.

[Lord O' Bones]

So that's my idea. I'm willing to listen to everyone's thoughts on it, but only if they agree with me.

+1

[Jaime L]

Jaim, brilliant as always, but I was hoping I could use some of the alcohol funds to pay for my daycare. Having not one, but almost two board babies now is hard work, and I need some "Mya time." I do promise that if you allow this concession, I will not only post more, but also draft the best Experts league team that will surely decimate Jaxom.

(I'm obviously in denial about a certain strike.)

You've inspired me.

We will use these booze funds to allow Mav to attend daycare flight school, to end the NFL lockout, to decimate Jaxom. People hate taxes I know. But sometimes you got to implement them because they're right.

Now, I can't speak for JaimeL, but, I suspect (and I'm almost certain I'm right about this) that he will accept your n00b tax as a direct booze payment.

We got some designers working on user interface for Boozepal. Problem is the damn computer keeps shorting out when you actually pour the beer into the disk drive.

Don't worry though. We got our best minds on this.

Maybe we'll just set up a booze bank. One pays in a certain number of credits in local currency (we will have to figure out equivalencies - i.e., how many PBRs = 1 Lagavulin neat.) You could then draw on your local depositary :) I'm sure it can be done though.

With the number of financial types on this board think it's only a matter of time before we develop a booze bank so susdy, I'm guessing it's only a matter of months before we create the next bubble which implodes the global economy.

By that point I presume we'll be too big to fail. I don't know. All our modeling software crashed with beta testing boozepal.

[Week]

We got some designers working on user interface for Boozepal. Problem is the damn computer keeps shorting out when you actually pour the beer into the disk drive.

Is your retractable cup holder malfunctioning on your PC?

Don't worry though. We got our best minds on this.

With the number of financial types on this board think it's only a matter of time before we develop a booze bank so susdy, I'm guessing it's only a matter of months before we create the next bubble which implodes the global economy.

By that point I presume we'll be too big to fail. I don't know. All our modeling software crashed with beta testing boozepal.

We need to get Iskaral Pust on this. I'd trust him with figuring how best we can manage our funds long term. High consumption, long term. We need the best and brightest.

[Phoenix]

I think we need to carefully consider what we're doing here because tax policy is critical when creating a just society.

What I understand so far is that Jaime has proposed something of a payroll tax/flat tax/alms to King Jaime or what have you. And this in order to fund the drinking of the rest of the board. Great. I'm totally on board with this. But I just want to throw something out there to make sure we're not missing out on another policy opportunity. The n00b/fl00b masses will, I expect, get their hands on some kind of drink. I mean, there lot in life is going to be rough, so they'll naturally drink away the nights. Why not throw an excise tax on their booze too? Tax them from both directions. If there's any flaw in my thinking, please let me know. I'm only trying to do what is fair.

I think you are on to something here. Maximize our profit margin. Are we going to take the excise tax out in booze also? Like, "oh fl00b, you have a six pack there, one of them is mine Jaime L's." This could become more complicated with other beverages. Perhaps beer is the only choice for fl00bs?

[Jaxtile]

It's only fair to fuck em in both directions. Wouldn't want to make the back end too raw; gotta balance out. We can lubricate with non alcoholic beer.

[Week]

I think we need to carefully consider what we're doing here because tax policy is critical when creating a just society.

JaimeLPAC 2011! No restricts, no tax burden, just liquid money to spend on anything you want!

[Phoenix]

It's only fair to fuck em in both directions. Wouldn't want to make the back end too raw; gotta balance out. We can lubricate with non alcoholic beer.

Good plan, only worthwhile purpose for non-alcoholic beer.

[Stubby]

With the large influx of booze, please make sure the Master of Victuals on the commune vessel is informed for cataloguing purposes.

[Jaime L]

Is your retractable cup holder malfunctioning on your PC?

Holy shit, could've used you 10 PCs ago

What I understand so far is that Jaime has proposed something of a payroll tax/flat tax/alms to King Jaime or what have you. And this in order to fund the drinking of the rest of the board. Great. I'm totally on board with this. But I just want to throw something out there to make sure we're not missing out on another policy opportunity. The n00b/fl00b masses will, I expect, get their hands on some kind of drink. I mean, there lot in life is going to be rough, so they'll naturally drink away the nights. Why not throw an excise tax on their booze too? Tax them from both directions. If there's any flaw in my thinking, please let me know. I'm only trying to do what is fair.

That is nefarious. It's like they go out and buy their booze to pay the n00b tax and buy some booze for themselves, which in turn is still taxed further with more booze for us, which means they need more booze for themsleves to ease the pain. It's a vicious cycle of beer and tears in the liquor store. I'm not going to say this rises to the same level as "we were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them" from Fight Club, but it totally rises to that level.

It's enough to make me weep for the fl00b. Let us pray they never discover pitchforks and torches.

[Blaine]

Wait, fl00b beer tax? That's it?

I thought for sure we'd at least demand primae noctis.

[Jaime L]

I thought for sure we'd at least demand primae noctis.

I dunno. Sounds good in theory. But while the fl00b probably doesn't own the ASOIAF books, they've almost definitely seen Braveheart.

And the last thing we need is to be staring across a giant open field at face painted, shirtless fl00bs screaming something about their arses.

My May is booked besides.

[Blaine]

Good point. Do we still have time to invent a caste system real quick? I just worry that one of these bastards is going to be the Blaine24 model I've been dreading for a decade. I can't compete with that.