Count Balerion Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 PN wrote:100th Lord Commander has already opened the new thread of outrageous lies, but he mistook the subforum and posted in Asoiaf General. The lie he posted was that Daenerys was Jon Snow's daughter born after Jon travelled back in time and raped his grandma. The post contained such consistency and coherence compared to the craziness there posted that nobody reported it. PN is a Vulcan emissary to Westeros whose mission is to clean the place up and stop the noble houses from fighting each other, while persuading them to unite against the Others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 CB is a talking, typing pineapple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braavosi Lemons Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Lady Blizzardborn lives in that same pineapple, under the sea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon's Queen Consort Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Braavosi Lemons was the merchant who were illegally changing the labels about the country or origin of the lemons from Dany's lemon tree from Dorne to Braavos. Hence he was one of the people who lived with Dany, Vis and Willem in Dorne rather than Braavos and the one in Lemongate conspiracy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted July 6, 2015 Author Share Posted July 6, 2015 JQC was bribed to keep that secret, but is spilling the beans anyway. What happened to honour among thieves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braavosi Lemons Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Count Balerion was the one who bribed JQC with a basket of turnips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unlady B Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 BL has been working on a secret lemon cake recipe. This recipe would contain no lemons at all. All of them would be replaced by turnips and vinegar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 PN is upset at this b/c she is a turnip activist. save the turnips!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 CB however has bigger things on his mind...since King Tommen made good on that threat to outlaw beets, CB's investments in beet futures have taken a serious dive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braavosi Lemons Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Lady Blizzardborn used insider knowledge to trade all her beet stocks for equal shares of turnip stock, which has since tripled in value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minstral Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Braavosi Lemons is the reason our post count doesn't go up in the Forum Games section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unlady B Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Minstral cries because his/her most profound wish is to reach the million posts, so s/he can brag around the neighbourhood that s/he's a millionair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 [Mis a he.] PN is actually Maragaery in a clever disguise, and has been using her influence w/ Tommen (gained by destroying beets) to rig the post market. wheels within wheels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braavosi Lemons Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Count Balerion is a literal wheel, on a turnip cart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Braavosi Lemons is a turnip cart, and could not get by without his friend CB the wheel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braavosi Lemons Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Lady Blizz is really an impoverished turnip farmer bringing her crop to market. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unlady B Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 BL is specially obsessed with Lady B´s turnips. He says they´re magical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braavosi Lemons Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 PhalaeNopsis is a magic talking typing turnip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Braavosi Lemons is actually just a dead cat being animated by an otherworldly spirit named Bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 KoA is an otherworldly spirit named Bill who likes to animate dead animals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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