Lord O' Bones Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 OK Now you're making this shit up.You have to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Nan Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 OH JOHN RINGO... wait. I'm with Lord O' Bones on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon AS Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Yes, this is apparently what feminists of the future do - they kidnap men, rape them to get pregnant, then behead them and burn their bodies in a sacred fire. Oh come on, don't play innocent. We all know that this is what feminism will inevitably lead to.Still not as crazy as Ringo, btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 OK Now you're making this shit up.You have to be.OH JOHN RINGO... wait. I'm with Lord O' Bones on this.I resent having my integrity so impugned. I merely report on what is there! Never would I pretend to such heights of creative genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon AS Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I resent having my integrity so impugned. That's some clever photoshopping, I'll grant you that, but the shadows give it away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I resent having my integrity so impugned. I merely report on what is there! Never would I pretend to such heights of creative genius."Then her head fell to totally silent."Fucking feminists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 "Then her head fell to totally silent."Fucking feminists.We just need a good deep dicking, that'll sort us out. *nods* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 We just need a good deep dicking, that'll sort us out. *nods*That tunnel is there to move traffic damn it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edda van Heefmstra Ruston Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Barbarah! Barbarah! (Edit: so do we think the author had a good or a bad relationship with someone named Barbara? She is a literal goddess, but her followers are filth-encrusted rapists. :shrug:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 I don't think it's possible that Stacy has exchanged more than half a dozen words with anyone of the female species. Barbarah is probably just the latest one to turn down his inept pimply efforts to entice her back to his lair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I don't think it's possible that Stacy has exchanged more than half a dozen words with anyone of the female species. Barbarah is probably just the latest one to turn down his inept pimply efforts to entice her back to his lair.Both of them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lummel Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Yes, this is apparently what feminists of the future do - they kidnap men, rape them to get pregnant, then behead them and burn their bodies in a sacred fire. In the future! Phah! I've read Dominic Raab's article, this happens now - that's why all men have to commute further and further every day and why we have to work so late. Seriously, have you tried leaving work on time once you've had your head chopped off? I'm telling you it's impossible.Mind you i like the way the women have Ewok-like speedy construction skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maltaran Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Rock doesn't want to kill women? Ryder Stacy is obviously a pseudonym for Robert Jordan :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon AS Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Who is this amazing author? And is John Ringo jealous? I could see them having an extremely heated professional rivalry a la Angiers and Bordin in The Prestige.As long as Rock doesn't save a bunch of teenaged girls from being sold as sex-slaves and then, despite considering the possibility that he could easily send them somewhere nice where they could get a good education, decides that the most humane thing he can do for them is to turn them into his personal harem, Ringo has nothing to fear from Stacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 There are no words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 -double post- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorshach Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 There are no words.Well, actually, there seems to be lots of words. It's just that they are terrible :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 Chapter Fifteen, I'm afraid, brings us back to the thrilling adventures of the Russian High Command. :commie: I'll try and skip through this as quickly as I can, cos they always do the same bloody things and we want to get back on with the good stuff.Let's see, Georgi the Waiter is delivering some food to Killov, who has apparently gone quite mad. He now has four dolls representing the people he most wants to kill - Vassily, Rahallah, Zhabnov and Rockson - and arranges them in the order that he wants to kill them (Zhabnov gets top slot after the recent assassination attempt).And finally - Rockson - or at least the likeness of the only photo the KGB had ever found of the elusive rebel. Even this had been blurred, but the twelve-inch doll did bear a certain resemblance to the Doomsday Warrior - the same square, chiseled face, the same heavily muscled body - even the streak of white down the center of Rock's black hair.The elusive rebel? The KGB took him prisoner! Killov has met him! Obviously they were too busy torturing him with Viagra and naked women to bother taking a mugshot. And it's not like Stacy has even forgotten this minor detail, as the very next sentence is:Rockson - the man who had scarred Killov's face and escaped the colonel's grasp.:bang:Anyway, Killov mutters things to his dolls like "Feel that, fat fool, this is how you will die", Georgi makes it out of the room unscathed, and now it's off to Moscow.Vassily waves at a parade in Red Square for a while, and spends a few pages verbally masturbating about the military hardware on display - including a load of women soldiers, "all blondes, conscripted from the southern provinces." Because Azerbaijan is known for its blondes? Ah, no, they have "ironically" been bred from American stock, whose women are much tougher than their weedy Commie counterparts. Then Rahallah takes him to a nice garden and purportedly reads him a passage out of "Alice in Wonderland" (which is actually a misquoted bit of Jabberwocky, from Alice Through the Looking Glass... gogo basic research failure!) in the lovely May sunshine.Yeah, that's it. That's the chapter. At least we have some tentatively reliable information about what time of year it is, I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Nan Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 That was from the introduction of the inimitable Kim in Chapter 15 of Doomsday Warrior 2: Red America. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 That was from the introduction of the inimitable Kim in Chapter 15 of Doomsday Warrior 2: Red America.Yes indeed! No scene too stupid for the Doomsday Warrior. And speaking of Kim, on with Chapter Sixteen...The remaining hazards of the journey (an "occasional sabrelion or cloudburst", which seemed like a picnic) are glossed over in one paragraph; Rock is more annoyed by the litterbugs who have been dropping cigarette butts along the trail. And at last they reach the outskirts of the top-secret ranch!His heart was suddenly pounding - what was it - the nearness of Kim? After so many months - she would be here, and they would be together again. He didn't know if he could stand their ever parting again.Wuss.They pass through one checkpoint, and at the next, a few guards with rifles demand to see their invitation. It has a speshul watermark that proves it couldn't be forged! They really have thought of everything, there's no way any commies could get past that level of security. And now it's time for some more people to be awesomed by the presence of our hero..."Looks like this here really is Ted Rockson, damn!" He took off an army-type cap and slapped it against his leg. "Goddamned Ted Rockson - can you believe it?" The rest of the guard crew walked over and shook hands with Rock and the other freefighters. Their eyes were wide with excitement at actually meeting the legendary Doomsday Warrior.A guy in a cowboy hat says "Howdy" and takes them to meet some of the other delegates, when suddenly silky hands appear in front of Rock's eyes, and a honey-sweet voice says "Guess who?", in proper cutesy Hollywood-approved fashion. Do people actually do that in real life? Anyway, it's Kim, big snog, but then her father wants to meet him. This is Charles Langford, dictator-in-waiting sole Presidential candidate, who is dressed appropriately in a purple toga with gold sash. (?)Kim asks Rock if he's been a good boy, and he has a momentary worry that her woman's intuition has told her about Barbarah (not Rona, she evidently doesn't count, and does not cross his mind once), but he seems to have got away with it, and eventually they escape all the boring delegates and head off to the bedroom.One long slow shag (until they are "dripping with animal perspiration") and they declare how much they love each other, then it's round two, with something a little more energetic. She moaned, panted, urged him on with unintelligible half-utterances of passion. This time he took her more fiercely, wanting to possess her, every part of her. He held her and slammed deep into her receptive body, taking her places she'd never been. Her cries of pleasure grew louder, more frequent, and finally broke into short, exultant screams of ultimate pleasure. Then his steel hardness pushed deep into her and released, again just as she did, their bodies melting together, inseparable, indistinguishable.:leaving:OK, OK, it's the last bit of bad sex I'll be quoting (at least until the next book), I promise... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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