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Robin Of House Hill

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About Robin Of House Hill

  • Birthday 03/19/1943

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  1. Be supportive, without making being trans the focal point of every conversation. If your friend wants to talk about it, okay, but try not to be too curious. Also, the only person who decides if information about being trans is to be shared, is your friend. You don't get to make that decision. Also, if a mutual acquaintance ever comes to you and asks, "Did you know <name> is trans," "Really, I didn't know that," is the best answer. That said, I might not be the best person to answer your question. I can't fathom why any trans person chooses to reveal they are trans, especially in the current social/political climate. So, take my words with a grain of salt.
  2. Anyone know of anything that might make Albuquerque, New Mexico especially problematic for LGBT people? My research hasn't shown anything.
  3. I've been paying too much attention to what is going on in the US, and not enough to the UK. It's sadly ironic that the country where I should be armed is the country that won't permit me to. Thanks for alerting me to the UK nonsense. TERFs on the left of me, government on the right... What a time to be alive!
  4. Actually, I am armed from time to time, but it's precaution only. I haven't been physically threatened in almost 40 years. So I don't think that is the answer to the problem. This attack by the government is far more sophisticated than simply threatening physical violence. It's designed to deny legal protection from any form of discrimination.
  5. It is a little known fact that the State Dept. has a regulation that a passport application can be challenged if the birth certificate submitted with the passport application was issued substantially later than the date of birth. They challenged my application, which required that I submit documentation explaining its issuance date. So yes, there is a paper trail. I can obtain an Israeli passport, but that requires that I travel there, until it is issued. It's an extra expense, but is moderated by the fact that my air fare, there would be paid for. I'd just have to live there for the time it takes them to actually issue the passport. I'd have to pay for the return trip. It still means a couple of months, living there. I have to consider that we may simply have to find an isolated pocket of calm, in the storm that is brewing in the US. I think I'm past debating the pros and cons of visibility. Some embrace it, and others, like me, who don't, try to survive it. It angers me that the world has gotten to be like this, though I never expected better. I can't imagine what it feels like for those who believed things would get better.
  6. Honestly, that has been my thought, all along. Now, the problem is that if I have to wait till October, 2019, whether I'll have a valid passport. The state department has already revoked a couple on "technicalities." And with this BS, they'll have an excuse to invalidate every passport isued to any trans person.
  7. Perhaps, if we look at it from the context that it gives credence to views that have been expressed within the transgender 'community.' Examples follow. Laverne Cox Challenges Passing Privilege and Lifts Up Trans Beauty Laverne Cox: Being Trans Isn’t About Blending In — And That’s Beautiful Why Passing is Both Controversial and Central to the Trans Community The ‘obsession’ with trans ‘passing’. Op-ed: I'm a Trans Man Who Doesn't 'Pass' — And You Shouldn't Either There are many more like these. Because such sentiment exists, I am concerned when a piece by psychologists, reinforces those beliefs. The counterargument is rarely heard, because those who pass, blend in, or live stealth, don't usually negate the benefits of what they are doing, to take part in the discussion. So, I'll say it. The advantage of passing is that it shields you (to the degree you successfully pass) from the hatred, bigotry and hostility that a substantial portion of society has toward trans people. It allows you to obtain employment and housing, even in conservative areas. In other words, it lets you live your life, just like everyone else. From a personal perspective, that many may not share, it allows you to be perceived simply as a human being, and not an 'other." I'll be merciful, and not mention the binary/non-binary aspect of the article. Experience has taught me to avoid that. ETA: One last link. Stealth Doesn’t Help The Trans Community That title is accurate. Stealth/blending in/passing predates the trans community. It was the original way that most trans people lived. The only time it changed was when the news media outed one of us, as happened to Christine Jorgensen and Renee Richards. The article contains a blatant lie. For the vast majority of stealth trans women, stealth was never about obtaining "cis privilege." It was about obtaining employment, housing, and avoiding ridicule, harassment, assault, or even death. But yeah, we didn't answer the call for visibility, as if having greater numbers made the haters hate us any less. I did this as an edit, rather than a separate post. I have no desire to bump the thread to the top of the page. There is no further reason for me to participate in this topic. I wish you well.
  8. The article does not engage in victim blaming. I did not mean to imply that. It's how some might respond to it,that worries me. But, I suppose I might be the only one who sees it that way. Probably my misfortune to have witnessed conversations where such thoughts have been expressed.
  9. For some reason, a previous post was cached, and duplicated.
  10. I don't know if anyone will find the information contained in the link, below is as problematic as I do, but if anyone doesn't think it is problematic, I'd really like to know why. There are two quotes that are particularly troubling, because they can be used to lay blame at the feet of certain people, based on how they identify and live. Because if someone is non-binary, or cannot pass, this article hints that those who are binary and pass, are part of the problem " However, it was gender-conforming transgender individuals (i.e., feminine transgender women, or masculine transgender men) who were viewed as being the most threatening towards gender boundaries. As Broussard put it, “it is likely that conforming transgender individuals (because they can ‘pass’ as their authentic gender) are especially threatening because they provide some evidence that there are more than two binary genders, or that [one’s] binary gender can be changed.” " " In other words, if you strongly believe that there are only two sexes and that those two sexes always create two genders, and that it is not possible for someone to change from being one gender to another, being presented with a masculine trans man (someone who was identified female at birth) who visually and behaviorally is indistinguishable from a cisgender man, may be a very jarring experience that challenges binary beliefs about gender. Furthermore, gender conforming trans individuals may elicit distinctiveness threat because if you yourself are a man and hinge a great deal of your identity on being a man, what does this piece of your identity really mean if someone born female can ‘pass’ as being just “as much of a man” as you? Thus, the more an individual strongly believes in the gender binary, the more threatening transgender individuals (especially those who ‘pass’) are to that individual’s own personal identity as either a man or a woman. " What Precisely Do Transgender People Threaten?
  11. While I'm sure I don't understand the connection between outing oneself and carpools. I can say that there has only been one time in my entire life that doing so has had a positive outcome, was in 1984, after two women I had trusted, turned on me, after an ongoing disagreement. I learned they had outed me, and to whom, on a Wednesday night. I knew it would get to all of my friends (we all had a common interest, which is how we met) by the weekend. Since I was meeting with two close friends from that same circle of friends, for cake and coffee on Friday afternoon, I figured I'd let them know directly, rather than hear it from those who might be hostile. It went well, obviously, since one of them is my wife. That was the only time, that sort of thing went well. I should mention that it was the same day I was fired from my job, because I'd forgotten to remove a lesbian symbol button from my jacket and the company comptroller saw it.
  12. Truthfully, the ideal place would be one of fairly low population, where one had access to shopping that was not too distant, where people minded their own business, so I could live in quiet obscurity, but where there was was enough to see and do, so my wife doesn't get bored. Any area where there haven't been incidents targeting LGBT people, but don't have a highly visible LGBT community, would probably work best.
  13. The funny thing is that Skibereen was the first place we researched in Ireland. It looked good, but for cost and ability to get along without a car. Unfortunately, like elsewhere, the most affordable areas tend to be conservative. Rural areas tend to be the most conservative, although there are exceptions. This presents anyone who is stealth with a paradox. The places that are most welcoming, are the places where you are most likely to recognized as trans, where as those areas that are rural, where LGBT issues are not center stage. I've seen stuff like this happen since the early 80s. In New York City's Greenwich Village, where I was recognized much more frequently than other areas, simply because of awareness that we existed. Other areas of NY, NJ, PA, and AZ posed little problem in comparison. That changed when I moved to Hollywood, CA, only to discover I was living two blocks form the Los Angeles LGBT Center. So, I do best in areas Where I'm not on the radar. As to RTE's broadcast of My Trans Life, I cringe at such things. Imagine a conversation of a neighbor that goes like this. "You know that tall woman who lives across they way?. She looks a lot like these folks." What happens after that, is worrisome. Oh well.
  14. Thanks for that analysis. You're far more familiar with all things feminism than I am. I've been doing my own brand of research (crime statistics, pertinent incidents, etc.), and have concluded that the UK would probably be acceptible, on the basis of safety. Its position in the international political fray concerns me. I might be wrong, but it feels more volatile than Ireland. My wife describes Glastonbury as Portland, Oregon, on steroids, a place where no one cares what you are. After all these years, she doesn't realize that such area are where I'd be recognized as trans, more easily. Give me a place where everyone minds there own business. Well, I'll just research things more, and in any event, I'll survive.
  15. In the context I framed it in, it probably doesn't belong in either. Apologies.
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