Pebble thats Stubby Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 of course it feels awful right now, but you did something amazing by not giving in. Celebrate your little success, they will make going forward that much easier. It was extra hard on you because you where alone and your support group so far away. Really I think AA would have been very good for you. You may even make a local friend to help you through any future evenings. Is there some artwork or project or hobby you can do when alone to help you take your mind off things? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB. Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Wait, you were able to tell that you have a problem before your friends and family could see it?That makes you one heck of a person, in the best sense and I'm sure you will be fine if you listen to your instincts and heart. I am not saying AA wouldn't be a good idea, everyone needs help sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mlle. Zabzie Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 GSG - glad you did what was right for you and your recovery. Best of luck going forward, and I'm with Pebble - maybe it would be good to go to AA. Also, I'm sure there are clubs and classes around that could help you make friends whose social activities don't circulate around alcohol (runner's clubs, yoga classes, volunteer groups). Best of luck to you. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
straits Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 :agree: I think most habits that you would want to break kick in when you're bored. Stay occupied with other things you like. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_BlauerDragon Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 :agree: I think most habits that you would want to break kick in when you're bored. Stay occupied with other things you like. Good luck. That, and changing your routines and familiar environments can help offset the triggers of your addiction. I had to go through a lot of this to finally quit smoking (after about 8 failed attempts). When I completely upended my normal cycle of places to go and things to do, it really took a lot of the sting out of the urges to smoke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gun Street Girl Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 Wait, you were able to tell that you have a problem before your friends and family could see it?That makes you one heck of a person, in the best sense and I'm sure you will be fine if you listen to your instincts and heart. I am not saying AA wouldn't be a good idea, everyone needs help sometimes.Thank you, Elizabeth B. I was able to hide it for a long, long time, and when I did slip up... the people who love me didn't want to see it. I really do love them for that - their faith in me no matter what. I hate having disappointed them the way I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 The only excuse you need for not drinking is that you don't want to drink. Anyone who judges you for this can eat a bag of reproductive organs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitsOfBrains Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Just tell them you are watching your weight because "alcohol makes you fat." Which of course it does. No one will ever bother you about it. In fact it will flip the script on them. They will be the ones not "acting properly" or they will just respect you. You could also have a diet coke in a bar glass. Drunk people will just assume it's a captain and coke. If you seriously don't think you can handle being around the bottle then just don't go. I spent some time in the upper Midwest where in any social gathering everyone was expected to be drinking at all times I can only imagine how hard it was for some dry guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gun Street Girl Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 Well - living in Ireland now, and I've literally only met one dry person. All our social gatherings involve pubs, generally, so it's not so surprising that he doesn't come out that much. Everyone here has given great help for things I can say, but now it's up to me to be able to go out and have the strength to stick by it. I'm through the physical detox stuff at this point, which is good, but I do think I have a way to go before I can effortlessly hang out in a pub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitsOfBrains Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I do think I have a way to go before I can effortlessly hang out in a pub. Some alcoholics (most?) simply can't ever be around drinkers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derfel Cadarn Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 They are my friends too, yet I have a hard time telling them about why I can't be drinking with them. It's too soon. I'm only "out" with this recently, and I'd like to tell folk in my own time, when I am ready. That's ok, right?You shouldnt have to lie or hide it, but one excuse is youre on antibiotics for <random thing> and arent drinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Everyone is different, and while you've been given many valid outs, if those don't work for you (for whatever reason), do t feel the need to put yourself in that situation. Remember that what you are going through is incredibly difficult, and even these beginning steps you've taken require immense fortitude. Take heart in your strength. You have a goal you are striving for; take time to think and reflect before making any decision that could put your goal in jeopardy. And when in doubt, reach out! Whether through a support group, some anonymous hotline, or calling your family in the middle of the night, there is someone out there who should be able to support you when needed. Stay strong, sounds like you're doing great! Best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 As a non-drinker and not in recovery, I used a variety of excuses as to why I wasn't drinking at social gatherings, because my friends were exactly the same - they would almost try to force you to drink alcohol because you "can't have a good time without it!" Sigh. I drove to the pub, so that was just met with a "you're boring". And I also used the antibiotics excuse.Now I simply say that I'm not a big drinker. It's amazing how many people you meet who don't drink very often. And thank god I have new friends now.Best of luck with your recovery, OP. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 GSG, Congratulations. It sounds like you don't have a whole lot in the way of local resources. People have suggested AA which can be a real help. In addition, it might be a good idea for your spouse to check on AlAnon. It's a support group for family and friends of alcoholics. Both groups have online resources. Best of luck to you. It's really hard work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 As a non drinker, I understand the social pressure of alcohol consumption. It's pervasive and impossible to completely avoid. And yes, you are expected to have a reason if you don't drink. Those here who have said that you don't owe anyone an explantion meant well, but I don't think they understand the true pressure, or a sense of "what's wrong with me?" that those question can induce. I don't have many good suggestions to offer here, but just want you to know that your struggle is going to be tough and I wish you the best in overcoming them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Yeah, Terra is on to something. Don't get me wrong. I think it's BS that anyone would be expected to explain themselves, but it's apparently not really how the world works. This does cause serious dilemmas for people about what to say even if it shouldn't. So I agree with fuck them right in the ear if they're dicks about this, but I also acknowledge that it's not that simple in reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.