NFL 2018 Preseason: Now With More Jace Meltdowns!

[sperry]

Yeah, my main thing is that Andy Dalton is like the 25th best starting QB in the league and McCarron couldn't beat him out. He could maybe try to bounce around and get occasional one year bridge starting jobs for his career. Or he can be a 20 year backup and live his best life.

[Nictarion]

4 minutes ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

To be fair, the Bengals attempted some 'accrued seasons' shenanigans to keep him.

But yeah, while that loss to the Steelers wasn't HIS fault, he didn't really deliver the W anyway.

Sadly, he got us closer to a playoff victory than Palmer or Dalton though.  

[Jace, Extat]

Just now, Nictarion said:

Sadly, he got us closer to a playoff victory than Palmer or Dalton though.  

Don't be a hater on Palmer, playa.

Ain't his fault his knee got turned into spaghetti.

[Nictarion]

Just now, sperry said:

Yeah, my main thing is that Andy Dalton is like the 25th best starting QB in the league and McCarron couldn't beat him out. He could maybe try to bounce around and get occasional one year bridge starting jobs for his career. Or he can be a 20 year backup and live his best life.

Dalton is middle of the pack at worst. He’s had some really good years (including an MVP caliber season in 2015 before he got hurt *106.3 PR). His problem is inconsistency. He’s either really good or really bad. 

[Jace, Extat]

22 minutes ago, Nictarion said:

Dalton is middle of the pack at worst. He’s had some really good years (including an MVP caliber season in 2015 before he got hurt *106.3 PR). His problem is inconsistency. He’s either really good or really bad. 

Well, if we're gonna do QB rankings -and Jace has already saved the hospital like 5 grand today- then let's do them:

For the purposes of these rankings, consider them to be 'who would I take THIS YEAR with next year a SECONDARY but relevant consideration.

Tier 1- FRANCHISE QB'S. >>>> These are the dudes you trade for NOTHING. It doesn't matter what the offer is, if it's not one of the other 3 dudes on this list+ the entire roster you hang up the phone.

Aaron Rodgers: This is the Man's Men of men. He's also the Womens' men of Men. Because women would fuck this dude every day if they enjoy the D.

Thomas Brady: The GOAT. It's like 'well, this dude may not have all the ELASTICITY or raw enthusiasm of a slightly younger QB', but who exactly do you think is going to make your eyes roll back into your head harder?

Russell Wilson: Sure, he'll parrot talking points during coitus. But he's also a pretty good bet to ring the bell at least once, maybe more.

Drew Breesus: Such a fucking boy scout. There's attraction in that, I suppose.

 

Tier 2- GOOD QB's>>> Not much more you can ask for. You do not look these players in the mouth, you just try to assemble a team of warriors around them and thank the Gods.

Phillip Rivers: I am annoyed no more frequently by such a moderate talent as Phillip Rivers. He's good, he's almost great. He is not a Hall of Famer.

Cam Newton: Jace loves Cam. She just wishes his arm was a bit more consistent. His placement this high is more about his OVERALL talents.

Matt Ryan: He's pretty good. He is NOT great. That SB loss was NOT his fault. He did NOT save his team from Tom Brady.

Ben Rapeburger: Jace hates this man. He's real good though, most times. He does not, HOWEVER, put his team on his back in a positive manner.

Matt Stafford: Let me be clear. Don't get it twisted. Matt Stafford is the lowest version of a good QB LISTED.

 

Tier 3- Acceptable QB's>>> Hey, they're good! You should be happy you have him. That said. Paying him above market price may not be the droid you're looking for.

Kirk Cousins: He can win a SB with an EXCEPTIONAL cast around him. That does not make him EXCEPTIONAL.

Carson Wentz: Jace likes Wentz. But it's one season removed from people being weirded out by the tape he put on in the last 10 weeks of the 2016 season.

 

Tier 4- Undetermined QB's>>> People seem in a hurry to crown him or bury him, but if you have a brain you're holding off for the moment.

Alex Smith: Jace is an Alex Smith fan. She thinks that if the coach knows what to ask for, then Smith can deliver appropriately.

Deshaun Watson: Those 7 games were pretty great, and Jace has been a believer since the outset. But major injuries and all, let's give it a 16 game schedule before we call him a top-10 product.

Andrew Luck: He's proven exactly enough to be on this list instead of Jacoby Brisket. I can't trust the man's health, and if I'm being unbiased his play has been elevatory but not ascendant.

Dak Prescott: Yes, that first year was inordinately influenced by having the time to do his taxes before each pass. But despite the upcoming lack of a #1 (or #2, really) WR, Jace is a believer in Dak,

 

Tier 5- Whatever QB's>>> Jace was going to call this a different title, but she was influenced by the fact that a lot of people see some of these guys as THE ANSWER.

Marcus Mariota: Jace likes him. He's got skillz, he's also probably been pretty awfully coached. Expectations need to be managed in the face of the laughable Tennessee coaching staff. Is this a product of Mularkey?

Sam Bradford: For all 3 games he'll be available you can count on Bradford to set a new league record for completion percentage within 3 yards of the Line of Scrimmage.

Jared Goff: It's very, VERY, likely that his relative success is a product of coaching and superior surrounding talent, but the physical traits are there, at least.

Tyrod Taylor: Jace loves her Tyrod. He's fast. He's got a strong arm. He can move an offense if it isn't coached by 2013 Gregg Roman. She accepts that doesn't make him GOOD though.

Jimmy G: Like 5 good games or something where the scheme had dudes running wide open and he barely surmounted INT's with TD's. Let's see where it goes.

Patrick Mahomes: Hopefully he's good, we just have almost 0 data.

Case Keenum: There are people who believe, there are those who do not. Regardless, a long career awaits this man as either a Favre clone or a viable backup.

Tier 6- Replaceable QB's>>> Jace acknowledges that there will be places in this tier where people -incorrectly- believe they HAVE an answer, but they probably don't.

Jaemis Winston: This is pretty self explanatory. He's almost certainly a rapey motherfucker, he turns the ball over constantly, no one likes him.

Derek Carr: People overreacted to ONE good season in an age where any QB can give a 5000 yard performance in any given year and it means nothing.

 

Tier 7- Replace this man>>> These are dudes who ain't never gonna make it no matter what. If you think otherwise then you just dumb.

Mitch Trubitski: Fuck this dude. John Fox or no, he was just offensive to the eyes. Never before has Jace seen a man so quickly dismiss his down-field option to overthrow a checkdown.

Eli Manning: SUCKS

Joe Flacco: IS TERRIBLE

Andy Dalton: Where exactly is this bus headed? Is that a river?

Nate Peterman/Josh Allen:Buffalo. No one cares, there is no reason to care.

Ryan Tannehill: No.

Josh McCown: Replaced by Sam 'Turnover' Darnold?

 

Tier 8-Give Up>>> Just no.

Blake Bortles: Just no.

 

[Nictarion]

“Kirk Cousins: He can win a SB with an EXCEPTIONAL cast around him. That does not make him EXCEPTIONAL”

The exact same can be said of Dalton. When he had other weapons besides AJ Green (Marvin Jones, Mo Sanu, Eifert, etc) and an even decent Oline he was pretty successful. Yes he shits the bed in the playoffs, but every QB has under Marvin Lewis. He’s the common theme there. 

I would personally have Dalton in either tier 3 or 4 on the Jace scale. 

@Mexal where would you have him?

[Jace, Extat]

17 minutes ago, Nictarion said:

“Kirk Cousins: He can win a SB with an EXCEPTIONAL cast around him. That does not make him EXCEPTIONAL”

The exact same can be said of Dalton. When he had other weapons besides AJ Green (Marvin Jones, Mo Sanu, Eifert, etc) and an even decent Oline he was pretty successful. Yes he shits the bed in the playoffs, but every QB has under Marvin Lewis. He’s the common theme there. 

I would personally have Dalton in either tier 3 or 4 on the Jace scale. 

@Mexal where would you have him?

But Dalton HAD an EXCEPTIONAL cast around him for multiple seasons. 

I'm willing to consider that maybe he deserved a spot in Tier 6, but Tier 3 and 4 are for either supremely talented dudes or guys who's skills may have been hamstring by factors around them. 

[Nictarion]

4 minutes ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

But Dalton HAD an EXCEPTIONAL cast around him for multiple seasons. 

I'm willing to consider that maybe he deserved a spot in Tier 6, but Tier 3 and 4 are for either supremely talented dudes or guys who's skills may have been hamstring by factors around them. 

And he had Marvin Lewis as his HC...

Look, I’m not even the biggest Dalton supporter, but when your HC is 0-7 in the playoffs with 4 different QB’s there’s something to that. 

[sperry]

58 minutes ago, Nictarion said:

“Kirk Cousins: He can win a SB with an EXCEPTIONAL cast around him. That does not make him EXCEPTIONAL”

The exact same can be said of Dalton. When he had other weapons besides AJ Green (Marvin Jones, Mo Sanu, Eifert, etc) and an even decent Oline he was pretty successful. Yes he shits the bed in the playoffs, but every QB has under Marvin Lewis. He’s the common theme there. 

I would personally have Dalton in either tier 3 or 4 on the Jace scale. 

@Mexal where would you have him?

I would be absolutely shocked if the Bengals don't draft Dalton's replacement in the first round next draft. The team is going to be bad again, Lewis will likely be fired, and the new coach is going to want his guy at QB.

[Nictarion]

19 minutes ago, sperry said:

I would be absolutely shocked if the Bengals don't draft Dalton's replacement in the first round next draft. The team is going to be bad again, Lewis will likely be fired, and the new coach is going to want his guy at QB.

They could go 0-16 this season and Lewis would be back. He signed a 2 year deal and Mike Brown isn’t going to eat that contact. 

[sperry]

4 minutes ago, Nictarion said:

They could go 0-16 this season and Lewis would be back. He signed a 2 year deal and Mike Brown isn’t going to eat that contact. 

Regardless of who the coach is, I can't imagine them not drafting a QB in the first round after the upcoming season.

[Mexal]

3 hours ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

But Dalton HAD an EXCEPTIONAL cast around him for multiple seasons. 

I'm willing to consider that maybe he deserved a spot in Tier 6, but Tier 3 and 4 are for either supremely talented dudes or guys who's skills may have been hamstring by factors around them. 

Did he? I'd argue that the only season he truly had an exceptional, healthy cast, was in 2015 when he had a breakout year. Other than that, there were significant injuries, either offensively or defensively that made things incredibly difficult (see Gio injury, Green injury, Eifert injuries (plus back up TEs as well), complete loss of his #2 and #3 WRs at the same time as losing his #1 WR as well, loss of his best OL players and a terrible center for the entire time he's been a QB there, etc). Personally, I think you know fuck all about the Bengals and really have no idea what kind of team he's had around him other than a few names.

That being said, Dalton is still a problem and should be replaced because he needs a healthy, exceptional cast around him to succeed plus a clean pocket because even after 6 years in the league, he's still incapable of sliding within the pocket in a way that I see Mayfield do from day 1. Give the Bengals a more talented QB and they can probably make up for some of the shit Dalton had to deal with over the last few years. But that won't happen because we have mediocre coaches and a mostly terrible front office (Duke Tobin exception).

[Jace, Extat]

You Bengals fans are oddly spirited about that ginger haired mistake. Who knew the biggest challenge my ad hoc QB rankings would get revolves around Andy 'I'm Present' Dalton.

 

[Mexal]

Not really spirited in the sense that I want him on my team. More spirited in the fact that "he had an exceptional cast his entire career and therefore sucks" is patently false.

[Jace, Extat]

23 minutes ago, Mexal said:

Not really spirited in the sense that I want him on my team. More spirited in the fact that "he had an exceptional cast his entire career and therefore sucks" is patently false.

That isn't what I said. I said that he had an exceptional cast (not insisting he had it forever) and didn't get it done. But you know what, I'm not above admitting when I have erred. I should have put Dalton a tier higher. I looked at some career stats and discovered that he's a better version of Eli Manning.

I'm sorry, Mexal. I undervalued your man.

[Mexal]

2 hours ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

That isn't what I said. I said that he had an exceptional cast (not insisting he had it forever) and didn't get it done. But you know what, I'm not above admitting when I have erred. I should have put Dalton a tier higher. I looked at some career stats and discovered that he's a better version of Eli Manning.

I'm sorry, Mexal. I undervalued your man.

Without the two super bowls

[Jace, Extat]

1 hour ago, Mexal said:

Without the two super bowls

I got a bare taste of Bad Coach purgatory and it almost killed my fandom.

I respect your devotion to your favorite team.

[Mexal]

1 minute ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

I got a bare taste of Bad Coach purgatory and it almost killed my fandom.

I respect your devotion to your favorite team.

I really don't give a fuck anymore. They broke me by re-signing Lewis.

[Jace, Extat]

24 minutes ago, Mexal said:

I really don't give a fuck anymore. They broke me by re-signing Lewis.

[Maithanet]

28 minutes ago, Mexal said:

I really don't give a fuck anymore. They broke me by re-signing Lewis.

This Westeros NFL thread has been pretty brutal on it's most loyal fans over the past five or so years.  I can't help but wonder if a similar thing is happening throughout the NFL fandom.