Tyrosh Lannister Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 Mad King Aerys refused to take a bath - he had an unwashed beard and body. His finger nails grey very very long. So how did he clean up after using the bathroom ? Having extremely long finger nails would have made cleaning up impossible or very difficult. Because he was king of the seven kingdoms he must have had some servant to help him clean up right ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Many-Faced Votary Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 ...Please, Mr. Martin. We need the next book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvo the Crow Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 12 minutes ago, Tyrosh Lannister said: Mad King Aerys refused to take a bath - he had an unwashed beard and body. His finger nails grey very very long. So how did he clean up after using the bathroom ? Having extremely long finger nails would have made cleaning up impossible or very difficult. Because he was king of the seven kingdoms he must have had some servant to help him clean up right ? Tywin did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aebram Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 5 hours ago, Tyrosh Lannister said: So how did he clean up after using the bathroom ? Maybe he didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craving Peaches Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 6 hours ago, Corvo the Crow said: Tywin did it. "The King eats, the Hand takes the shit." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King_Tristifer_IV_Mudd Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 8 minutes ago, Craving Peaches said: "The King eats, the Hand takes the shit." I’ve always preferred “the King shits and the Hand wipes” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Eyes Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 10 hours ago, Tyrosh Lannister said: Mad King Aerys refused to take a bath - he had an unwashed beard and body. His finger nails grey very very long. So how did he clean up after using the bathroom ? Having extremely long finger nails would have made cleaning up impossible or very difficult. Because he was king of the seven kingdoms he must have had some servant to help him clean up right ? Martin tends to go light on the toilet stuff unless he's talking about Daenerys; for instance he never goes into Bran having incontinence issues due to his paralysis or Jaime having to lace himself up one-handed after using the privy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvo the Crow Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 37 minutes ago, Angel Eyes said: Martin tends to go light on the toilet stuff unless he's talking about Daenerys; for instance he never goes into Bran having incontinence issues due to his paralysis or Jaime having to lace himself up one-handed after using the privy. I don't know about Bran but Jaime: Quote "One he can hang if the friend's father should displease him?" asked Lord Tytos. "I have four sons. Would you consider one of them instead? Ben is twelve and thirsty for adventure. He could squire for you if it please my lord." "I have more squires than I know what to do with. Every time I take a piss, they fight for the right to hold my cock. And you have six sons, my lord, not four." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanF Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 Almost certainly, Aerys had a lucky servant who wiped his bottom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Castellan Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 Bum wiper was a prized position held by a great lord and statesman in Charles I day, according to something I saw on Who do you think you are? I knew Henry VIII had one bit this was much later. They didn't call it that of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alester Florent Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 8 minutes ago, Castellan said: Bum wiper was a prized position held by a great lord and statesman in Charles I day, according to something I saw on Who do you think you are? I knew Henry VIII had one bit this was much later. They didn't call it that of course. "Groom of the stool". Although I'm not sure that the position involved physically wiping the king's backside, but rather holding the cloths used for the purpose and passing them to the king as needed (and presumably, removing them afterwards). It's not something I've researched properly, but it's hard to get reliable information on casually because the "check out this gross fact" sensationalism tends to dominate the field. It was a prized position because it offered frequent opportunities for private conversations with the king, something that was otherwise rare even for highly-placed courtiers. In any case, Aerys probably wouldn't have used toilet paper, but rather some kind of cloth or other cleaning system which didn't require him to put his fingertips so close to the business end of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craving Peaches Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 13 minutes ago, Castellan said: Bum wiper was a prized position held by a great lord and statesman in Charles I day Charles I is a tragic hero though. Whereas Aerys is a disgusting rapist inbred tyrant. Spoiler Just to be clear I am not being entirely serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Castellan Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 Just now, Adelstein said: "Groom of the stool". Although I'm not sure that the position involved physically wiping the king's backside, but rather holding the cloths used for the purpose and passing them to the king as needed (and presumably, removing them afterwards). It's not something I've researched properly, but it's hard to get reliable information on casually because the "check out this gross fact" sensationalism tends to dominate the field. It was a prized position because it offered frequent opportunities for private conversations with the king, something that was otherwise rare even for highly-placed courtiers. In any case, Aerys probably wouldn't have used toilet paper, but rather some kind of cloth or other cleaning system which didn't require him to put his fingertips so close to the business end of things. There was quite a description on Who do you think you are (yes, populist) and I think it involved the Groom of the stool doing the actual deed but perhaps I read that in. Yes, it allowed one person privacy with the King which was a rare invent indeed. You would think Aerys would need someone to scratch him too, his fingers being too dangerous for the task. I think just water and your fingers is used in some places today, in others things like corn husks or large leaves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanF Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 You wouldn’t Aerys to have eaten hot curry, if you had that job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craving Peaches Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 Just now, SeanF said: You wouldn’t Aerys to have eaten hot curry, if you had that job. He wouldn't eat that though, due to his 'special views' on Dorne and the Dornish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvo the Crow Posted February 21, 2023 Share Posted February 21, 2023 3 minutes ago, Craving Peaches said: He wouldn't eat that though, due to his 'special views' on Dorne and the Dornish. Well he may eat that to shit on Dornish values, so there's that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrosh Lannister Posted February 23, 2023 Author Share Posted February 23, 2023 On 2/21/2023 at 5:40 PM, Angel Eyes said: Martin tends to go light on the toilet stuff unless he's talking about Daenerys; for instance he never goes into Bran having incontinence issues due to his paralysis or Jaime having to lace himself up one-handed after using the privy. Although Jaime lost one hand, he still had his other hand so he was good to go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Castellan Posted February 23, 2023 Share Posted February 23, 2023 Very hard to lace things up and tie a knot with one hand, I would think! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvo the Crow Posted February 23, 2023 Share Posted February 23, 2023 7 hours ago, Tyrosh Lannister said: Although Jaime lost one hand, he still had his other hand so he was good to go Umm... Jaime has squires fighting each other to hold his when he pisses.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Castellan Posted February 23, 2023 Share Posted February 23, 2023 I didn't take that literally. He means they are underfoot trying to be helpful. Pour your wine make your bed polish your armour. he probably has to dream up things for them to do but I will not believe Jaime has a penis holder for the purposes of urination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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