Myshkin Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 I mean, do we really want to read about Random WoT female character compared to Random SoT Mord-Sith character? Or if the sword of truthiness could best balefire? I'm having bad mental images now. I need more than just alcohol now. I need some stuff that'll knock me out quicker than a Richard Rahl speech read by Ben Stein. Who do you guys think is hotter, Avienda or Cara? What do you think would happen if Kahlan used her powers on the Dark One? Who would win in a fist fight, Big Dick or Rand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 A Dick speech read by Ben Stein? I just got up, I haven't even had coffee yet, and that's the thought I get to deal with? Shit. eta: Among the prophets and witches we forgot the seeress (Jebra), yet another person who can see the future (and give twenty page descriptions of rape and torture) yet still not have any effect on outcomes. One wonders what is the point of having all these people doing the same useless thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 A Dick speech read by Ben Stein? I just got up, I haven't even had coffee yet, and that's the thought I get to deal with? Shit. I feel for you, Moose. Goodkind XXIX: Getting up in the morning listening to a speech by Richard Rahl by Ben Stein Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelp Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 One wonders what is the point of having all these people doing the same useless thing. Very simple, Mad Moose. This way, The Yearded One has an excuse to write about a) the Ghost of Future (Almost) Rape, prove that he writes about magic in a realistic way (well, divination was a shaky thing IRL), c) maintaining brand awareness by being repetitive. To use a commie reasoning technique: In SoTland, future rapes YOU!!! (or the comrades could also say: In SoTland, repetition writes YOU!!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 eta: Among the prophets and witches we forgot the seeress (Jebra), yet another person who can see the future (and give twenty page descriptions of rape and torture) yet still not have any effect on outcomes. One wonders what is the point of having all these people doing the same useless thing. Jebra isn't useless what are you talking about? Without her, where would Zedd have gotten the necklace chain to put the Stone of Tears (an object of great importance) around an 8 year old girls neck? You have to remember that all things in these book happen for a reason. I put reason in italics since it is also an underlying theme of the series. Wolf the next thread is STILL XXIV haha. First Wert skips ahead 13 posts early, now you want to skip 5 threads! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Jebra isn't useless what are you talking about? Without her, where would Zedd have gotten the necklace chain to put the Stone of Tears (an object of great importance) around an 8 year old girls neck? You have to remember that all things in these book happen for a reason. I put reason in italics since it is also an underlying theme of the series. Ah yeah...the Stone of Tears. Such an aptly named book for something that just doesn't appear for, oh, virtually the entire book. It was just a plot device/title use to glomp on more WoT goodwill. Yeah. Wolf the next thread is STILL XXIV haha. First Wert skips ahead 13 posts early, now you want to skip 5 threads! Now that's what I call choosing LIFE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Wolf the next thread is STILL XXIV haha. First Wert skips ahead 13 posts early, now you want to skip 5 threads! ....I changed my mind. When I show up in your doorstep, I'm going to dry hump you. Just call it advance planning. It was just a plot device/title use to glomp on more WoT goodwill. Yeah. Now that's what I call choosing LIFE! Following linear, choronological rules are for death choosers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dycedarg Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Who do you guys think is hotter, Avienda or Cara? What do you think would happen if Kahlan used her powers on the Dark One? Who would win in a fist fight, Big Dick or Rand? Aviendha, Kahlan can't reach the DO because he's not really there, gets almost-raped by Shaidar Haran and then falls into the Pit of Doom where she screams in agony for eternity, damn good question. Obviously, Rand has the whole prophecy where he can't die until the Last Battle (and Jordan's keeping his 'don't kill anyone the readers like' thing going by hinting at an escape clause for him anyways) but Richard's powers of Truthiness trump commie pinko notions like destiny and mere Fantasy magic that works by defined rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Personally I wuld say that Cara is hotter than most women, but not as hot as Aviendha. In a fight between these two, nobody would win, because halfway through the fight Tairy would not be able to write any more because he would be too busy touching himself. In a fist fight I think Dick would win because Rand only has one fist. Unfair advantage IMO. Although Rand was a sheepherder. Are sheep noble? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VigoTheCarpathian Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Who do you guys think is hotter, Avienda or Cara? What do you think would happen if Kahlan used her powers on the Dark One? Who would win in a fist fight, Big Dick or Rand? Oh sweet lord. I can hear the nerdlette questions come down through time echoing in this post. Could Worf beat Darth Vader in a man-to-man fight with no light sabers? Who's a better pilot, Han Solo or Anakin Skywalker? Would the Force work against Q? (obviously, Min is hotter than Aviendha or Cara. Kahlan could never get close enough to the Dark Lord without being captured and being almost raped by the Forsaken. Richard obviously would win in a fistfight, because he's the Bringer of Death and will just "Cut" using his fists. That, and in a fist fight, usually the guy with the most fists will win.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Because the Mad Moose's suggestion: Goodkind _ _ _: Entertaining the illiterate with sweeping epic themes is waaaaay better than the one chosen this time around. I'm adding my vote for that one, next time around. I agree. That one kicked ass. I'm submitting my vote for it right now as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Goodkind is good at trite and offensive soundbites which seem like they might contain an element of insight if you look at them from the right side. But in reality they are empty, because Goodkind himself hasn't even understood the potential insight in his own gratuitous nonsense. Whatever deeper meaning you've discovered in the gang rape thing, rest assured that you have dug far deeper than Goodkind himself even thought of going in order to reach it. The man's about as deep as a fortune cookie. QFT. Well put, Will. Oh, and BTW - I forgot whelp in my list of w's. Sorry about that whelp, I didn't mean to overlook your discordant evilness. Double post - oops, my bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 I thought we were jumping the gun last thread when we started creating titles around post 310. Vigo: The answer to all three of those questions is obviously "No". Silly bear. I mean centipede. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tormund Ukrainesbane Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Who do you guys think is hotter, Avienda or Cara? What do you think would happen if Kahlan used her powers on the Dark One? Who would win in a fist fight, Big Dick or Rand? *lets inner fanboy loose* Arianne Martell FTW. The others would eat the both. Gregor Clegane would come in, smash their heads and for real rape their women. ETA: Sorry couldn't help myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 I thought we were jumping the gun last thread when we started creating titles around post 310. I am channeling the power of Dickie Rahl. Whatever I do is right. If I want to choose thread titles now, then I can. Either you are with me, or you are a Death ChooserTM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Will Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Who do you guys think is hotter, Avienda or Cara? What do you think would happen if Kahlan used her powers on the Dark One? Who would win in a fist fight, Big Dick or Rand? Well, let's look at it this way. Cara and Avienda obviously would come down to a good old fashion breast-off, since all other female body parts are ephemeral and fleeting and breasts are forever. We know that Cara has what it takes to fill out her red leather nicely, but I really don't recall Avienda's precise endowment. I do recall that Nynaeve is mammarily well off, more so than most WoT women, which potentially makes her a bastion of goodness for all around her (now there is a scary thought). As it stands, I have to give it Cara on the assumption that my inability to recall Avienda's breast size means that Jordan didn't mention it much, and if Jordan didn't mention it then it can't be significant. Secondly, if Klan touched the Dark One he would be so enraptured of her that all thoughts of anything bar serving her would melt from his mind. Goodkind doesn't write magic for pussies. If he says it works then it works on everyone and that includes dark lords, spirits, sundry angels, anthropomorphic personifications, and Optimus Prime. If, however, the Dark One has sex with Klan there would me no effect since she is clearly the kind of girl who attracts megalomaniacal, violent killing machines. The Dark One's love for her would protect him, and since she, likewise, seems to be drawn to abusive men, they would probably be very happy together. Finally, Dick and Rand in a fist fight. This is a tough one. Presumably, no magic is allowed. Physically they stack up pretty evenly. Dick is taller than most men but not taller than all men and Rand is also taller than most men but not taller than all men (give or take a couple of centimetres). At first blush Rand's lack of a hand would tend to rule him out, but we must consider that Dick's lack of a brain is, likewise, a handicap. I think in the end I would have to give it to Dick since he would mutter some arcane words, draw a quick representational design involving lethality, and blow a melon sized hole in Rand's head (as the standard melon is slightly larger than Rand's head this would probably result in it being sucked into a parallel dimension where it would be discovered on the deck of the Starship Enterprise). Now, you may all be saying, hang on, Dick used magic, but you a forgetting that if we choose life we cannot be bound by rules imposed upon us by others. Is it reasonable for a man, in a fight for his life, to tie one hand behind his back? No, and nor should he refrain from using any other talent he might have. It is not honourable to die honourably. It is honourable to kill your enemy dishonourably and then stand over his crumpled corpse and cackle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Secondly, if Klan touched the Dark One he would be so enraptured of her that all thoughts of anything bar serving her would melt from his mind. Goodkind doesn't write magic for pussies. If he says it works then it works on everyone and that includes dark lords, spirits, sundry angels, anthropomorphic personifications, and Optimus Prime. Questions: 1. What if Godzilla touched her? 2. Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or Dick? 3. Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or Tairy? 4. Do you think the movie "Godzilla vs. Megalon" had any influence over TG's SoT series? I see many parallels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fanatic-Templar Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Although Richard would likely defeat Rand in a fight, could he beat Lan, who is an UNSTOPPABLE JUGGERNAUT? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
word Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Although Richard would likely defeat Rand in a fight, could he beat Lan, who is an UNSTOPPABLE JUGGERNAUT? Does that mean hes 5/3 and can't be blocked by walls? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Templar Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Does that mean hes 5/3 and can't be blocked by walls? Disenchant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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