Lord of Oop North Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [i]In the Headlines: Jacen is on the rise, after a surprising showing in 'Real Boarder of Genius'. Triskele stock is slowly recovering, after taking a nasty hit when it challenged Burr for market domination. Its CEO was jailed for three days, under suspicion of unfair business practice. S.John plummets 50 points after shareholders discover he is West Virginian. The Kay Fury Effect continues to wow the market, and tops out the pack, despite the uncertain economy. After expressing doubts over the Dark Knight, QueenCersei stock took a nose dive. It is not expected to recover until the third Batman movie is released, and flops.[/i] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S John Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 We at S.John are working feverishly to dispel these vicious stereotypes regarding our questionable heritage. In the next few days, we plan to release documents showing that the S.John family tree does, in fact, have branches. We will also be releasing dental records showing that S John, in 24 years, has retained 95% of his teeth and is dedicated to continuing efforts in oral health. Further, photographic evidence will be provided showing that S.Johns front lawn is not littered with disabled vehicles, and proof that John does not go out to the mail box in tighty-whities. Upon entering the premises of the S.John headquarters you will also find a full set of un-torched furniture. We ask for the patience of the shareholders during this trying time and promise that S.John will strive exceed the unreasonably low expectations that many hold for those born in the Appalachian region. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='C. John' post='1451829' date='Jul 22 2008, 21.32']John does not go out to the mail box in tighty-whities.[/quote] This makes me sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S John Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Lord O' Bones' post='1451830' date='Jul 23 2008, 00.37']This makes me sad.[/quote] Well, not usually anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacen Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I'm not sure if I believe the statements issued by C.John Corp. I have in my hands their 2007 Financial Report, and this image was on the [url="http://360digest.com/wp-content/uploads/elvis20jesus20robert_e_lee.jpg"]cover.[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anatole Kuragin Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Jacen' post='1451835' date='Jul 22 2008, 23.49']I'm not sure if I believe the statements issued by C.John Corp. I have in my hands their 2007 Financial Report, and this image was on the [url="http://360digest.com/wp-content/uploads/elvis20jesus20robert_e_lee.jpg"]cover.[/url][/quote] Jacen's stock is rising at recordbreaking speeds, as indicated by The Daily FUCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Jacen' post='1451835' date='Jul 22 2008, 21.49']I'm not sure if I believe the statements issued by C.John Corp. I have in my hands their 2007 Financial Report, and this image was on the [url="http://360digest.com/wp-content/uploads/elvis20jesus20robert_e_lee.jpg"]cover.[/url][/quote] I've just ordered my broker to sell off all my Limecat stock and move all my money into C. John Corp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord of Oop North Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 [i]Breaking News; Anatole Stock crashes 200 points, after a speculation scandal broke over highly exaggerated and mostly non-existent product.[/i] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potsherds Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Cat of Oop North' post='1451869' date='Jul 23 2008, 05.23'][i]Breaking News; Anatole Stock crashes 200 points, after a speculation scandal broke over highly exaggerated and mostly non-existent product.[/i][/quote] :lol: Winning thread idea. Awesome. :cheers: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 It's all about the blue chips, man. Buy and hold. You want to buy Coco. You want to buy Ran, EHK, timmet, Stego, Pod. You need value that lasts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Yagathai' post='1452069' date='Jul 23 2008, 01.47']It's all about the blue chips, man. Buy and hold. You want to buy Coco. You want to buy Ran, EHK, timmet, Stego, Pod. You need value that lasts.[/quote] Yeah, I bought up a bunch of Os last year and lost my ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsdale! Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 In these trying times, where one minute a boarder is here, the next he is banned for life for continually PMing people with links to tentacle porn, you need to invest in a stable fund. We at Dinsdale! Equity Ltd. are proud to be the managers of a stable fund, a place to put your money [i]securely [/i]in these trying times. We promise that all of our investments are in board moderators, with our stake in Ran never falling below 25%. This is stability that you can count on. Stability that will ensure you remain afloat long enough to finish ASOIAF. And really, isn't that what we all want out of life? Our competitors will try to lure you with experimental investment vehicles, speculating on the CH and Burr-hate derivatives, or future contracts for the number of TTTNE posts made in Greece. But then Mashiara and dalThor go on vacation one day, and you find yourself filing for bankruptcy. So remember in these times, go with the safe choice, a fund that invests in proven performers who are exceedingly unlikely to ban themselves. # Invest in Dinsdale! Equity Ltd. And don't do it for your own sake. Do it for the children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 In this uncertain climate, everyone needs some Hammer in their portfolio, just in case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delete this account pls Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I've been buying Ran now for years and never been dissapointed, but Your Mileage May Vary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskaral Pust Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 As we approach the bottom of the economic cycle, value stocks are in fact over-valued and it's time to shift into growth. A well diversified portfolio of small cap growth looks a good bet. Pust could be the next Google. Recommendation: Buy [i][size=1]Pust Equity Analysis is a wholly owned subsidiary of Pust.[/size][/i] This recommendation will be supported by an email spam campaign to temporarily raise the profile and price of Pust, allowing some judicious harvesting of profit. Get in at the ground floor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geddon Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Fellow boarders, I'd like to introduce you all to an exciting investment opportunity. [i]Geddon Futures Ltd[/i] is currently offering stock in member 12333, [b]Carbunco[/b] at an extremely competitive price. Do not be misled by [b]Carbunco[/b]'s small number of posts, everybody at [i]Geddon Futures [/i]is very excited about the potential of this stock. Word on the street is that [b]Carbunco[/b] is a passionate debater on the subjects of politics (domestic and middle-eastern), abortion, oil prices and Zak's cock. He also has several exiting new theories regarding Jon's parentage, plus he is a shameless exhibitionist and he possesses a large collection of interesting hats and a digital camera. Our conservative initial projections put him in the 10,000+ posts range. We are advising our clients to go all in with this one. Invest your kid's college fund, re-mortgage your house, hit up your parents for a loan; get in on the ground floor and it'll be the smartest decision you make this year. [size=1]Our standard brokerage fees apply. Stock is non refundable. Stock values may go down as well as up. Geddon Futures Ltd is registered in the Cayman Isles and is regulated by the Cayman Isles Stock Trading Commission (CISTC). CISTC is a wholly owned subsidiary of Geddon Umbrella Holdings Ltd.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Manticore Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Sorry, not for sale. Completely sovereign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Wolf Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Bunch of junk bonds people are offering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bormon Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 With NHAW still a few months away, now is the time to by some BlueRose, Goddess Dictator, and maybe a sprinkling Starkess. Value guaranteed to explode come October! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geddon Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Brady' post='1452088' date='Jul 23 2008, 10.38']I've been buying Ran now for years and never been dissapointed, but Your Mileage May Vary.[/quote] Happy greetings my friend, My name is Eddie Nbunga how pleased to meet you. I have had the honour to be great nephew of the King Mpata Nbunga, sovereign leader of the Peoples Democratic Republic of Eastern New Congo. King Nbunga, may God rest his soul in heaven, owned 30000000 shares in Ran at the moment of his unfortunate dying. The share certificates are held inside vault of the Bank of Eastern New Congo and will only be accessed by paying a banking fee of 5000 us dollars. In return for sending that amount to me I will make you my business partner and will immediately transfer you 15000000 Ran shares. To become business partner of Nbunga Investment Company you will wire $5000 us dollars to my Western Union account, I am sending all details in my next message. I too need your bank details and password so I can transfer to you your 15000000 Ran shares to you immediately. Many happy returns, Eddie Nbunga Nbunga Investment Company of Eastern New Congo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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