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Dear god, shoot me now


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Oh wow the names!

Zarpessa Zarionneaux

Theophilus Lovelaces

:lol:

I half suspect this is some kind of weird Google Analytics equivalent, a special code inserted by TyTy's puppetmasters to track the incidence of these names in newly-born children, and plot the extent of their sphere of influence.

Personally I am hoping all this backfires horribly and the unfortunate children rebel against all things Intoxibellic. 2052 will see the inauguration of hardass socialist President Zarpessa "De La Creme" Lovelaces and we will all be the better for it.

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Oh... oh my.

Tookie has a sister called Myrracle?

ETA: Read the whole chapter. It makes me ashamed to a member of the same species.

Really? I found it riveting. I especially liked the part where the intoxibella chose gangly, big-foreheaded Tookie over her prettier younger sister Myrracle. I never saw that coming!

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Tyra did her research.

"If I have to beat the last pas de bourrée out of you, I will"

Just may be the best line from a book this year.

I don't know, I think I prefered the very next sentence : "Now walk, walk, walk like an Intoxibella!" is particularly worthy of notice. Or maybe it's the combination of both.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The sad thing is, even if this book sold absolutely NO copies AT ALL, and they had to bury them out in the desert next to old Atari ET cartridges, she would still have no idea that she sucks.

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What happens to those who don’t make it? Well, no one really speaks of that. Some things are better left unsaid.

Mystery meat? The school's lovely, lovely soap? Those thigh high boots? Nah, human skin's too thin for boot leather, and the starved wannabe models can hardly have enough meat on them to be worth the time it takes to sharpen the knife...

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Four weeks today guyzzzzz! I'm only vaguely ashamed to be following Modelland on Twitter, it's nice to be kept in the loop...

And haven't yet found any midnight openings for Sept 13th yet, but I suppose it can wait til 9am. If she kills off Theophilus Lovelaces before the triumphant third installment there will be an almighty backlash.

ETA: Worried about being flamed for being a flagrant imbecile. I would only pay money for this if the money was going to a charity shop, because this can't be allowed to be successful.

My money's still on it getting optioned for a movie though. Eurgh.

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What the hell? Is the heroine going to be a girl who has a magical ability to make fierce eyesmiles, such as the world had not seen since the reign of Queen Oprah?

No theyr magic ability is that they dont nead food.

OMG! I got it!! It is actualy story of the OTHERS FROM BEYOND THE WALL!!!!!!

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Barnes & Noble Tweet:

There's lots of excitement for @tyrabanks new novel #Modelland and we have a sample chapter on our book page! bit.ly/neFuv4
.

I genuinely believe most of the excitement is coming from forums like these, people waiting to see how bad it is. B&N won't care, a sale's a sale, but still... This can't end well for anyone involved.

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First review I've come across and, albeit short, it's great:

a pastiche influenced by everyone from Cresswell to Dahl and Rowling... And if the resulting novel is overlong, the combination of absurdity, social commentary, and familiar tropes makes it an enjoyable guilty pleasure.

Really? REALLY? Isn't long now!

ETA: The male model academy is called Bestosterone, and countries include Didgeridoo and Cappuccina :laugh:

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