Submit your craziest, most crackpot conspiracy theories

[mandak]

But she's already had more than three. One with Robert three with Jaime. Right?

No, in the TV show she told of a child who died in infancy, but that didn't happen in the books. The one time Robert got her pregnant, Jaime found a woman to abort it. So its four pregnancies and three children.

[WillWork4NinjaPowers]

No, in the TV show she told of a child who died in infancy, but that didn't happen in the books. The one time Robert got her pregnant, Jaime found a woman to abort it. So its four pregnancies and three children.

Right. I didn't know if that counted.

[Boots]

Tommen is the true grandmaster behind Joffery's death and Cersei's fall. He killed Joffery because Joffery abused him in the past, and he though Margery was really pretty and wanted to be the one to marry her. For Cersei, Cersei was getting all up in Tommen's grill and not letting him run the kingdom his way, outlaw beets, play with his cats, be nice to the Tyrells, so he removed her.

He may seem sweet and innocent, but he is the grandson of Tywin and he has learned to use his nature to make people underestimate the devious mind behind the sweet face.

[Asarlai]

Doran Martell is only pretending to back Dany, to distract spies from his TRUE ambition...

Conquering the Americas Americos.

[wolfeyes]

Bran finally wakes up and all the story is a dream ala bobby ewing.

[Silverin]

I am not sure anyone thought about this, but here:

The reason Aerys is asking for John Arryn's, Robert's, Ned's head and dont asks for Renly's, Stannis' and Benjen's, is because he had visions about Robert, Ned and John overthroving him.

This way with his actions he actually makes his dreams come true.

[Songlian]

- Ned + Lyanna = Jon.

I've been thinking this ever since Ned thought "The lies we tell for love" phrase (related to "The things I do for love" line from Jaime).

It's probably too crazy to happen, though.

[A song of rice and fire]

It turns out that Jon was also a horcrux.

Dolorous Edd is Syrio

Ghost Ned is the 3EC

Bran learns how to fly...

...but is then eaten by a dragon.

Bran had warged into the dragon before his death so bran=Drogon

(R+L)^(N/Cat)+ Dany*Mel= Hot Pie...?

The Reeds are figments of Bran's imagination.

Hodor is one of the heads of the dragon (the other 2 are Dolorous Edd and Podrick)

[Clariana]

Ser Jorah took Dany into the tent on purpose. Why? If she had Drogo's child she'd be in more danger/he may have to kill it and her. Jealousy, he'd rather she'd not have another man's child.

[Bee]

Jon Snow is the son of Ned Stark and Wylla

Tyrion is the valonquar

Syrio is dead

Arya is actually blind.

I know crazy stuff man

[Xen0nex]

Azor Ahai, The Prince Who Was Promised, and the Third Head of the Dragon are all the same person, and it is Eddison Tollett

Think about it. "His is the song of ice and fire," referring to the ICE-COLD delivery of the many HOT-BURNS he serves up throughout the series. Given his downcast attitude and black outlook on life, gaining a magic sword by killing his only love in life would be in perfect keeping with his track record of successes mixed with failure and his gloomy character. GRRM's desire to keep surprises coming works well too, since he has many other more 'obvious' candidates out there, few wouls suspect it is Ed. We are never specifically told who Ed's mother is, leaving an opportunity for him to be either Aegon (he is the right age to have been switched at birth, as noted in other WM Gs above) or a bastard child from another Targaryen. Once it is revealed to him what his true destiny is, perhaps by Sam returning from Oldtown with the prophecies, he will likely say a typical Dolorous Ed line, like, "Well I suppose everyone expects me to defeat the Great Other and save Westeros from an eternal night of pain and darkness. I should have been a Builder like Gren. All they have to do is make ice."

Coldhands is a robot, make by lost technology before the Doom of Valaryia

How would a metallic robot feel when left out in the cold North? Cold. Very Cold. He is unable to cross under the Wall not because he is undead, but because his ancient programming forbids him from leaving the old boundaries of the civilisation that built him. A large flock of crows follow him not due to warging abilities, but because he has a radio transmitter capable of broadcasting at a high enough frequency to disrupt the natural navigational instincts of birds. It will later be revealed that he is constructed of 'dragonsteel' and thus the perfect weapon to be used in melee comabat against the Others.

Hodor gets a POV in the next book

I have 3 theories on this one. Either A) Hodor actually attained enlightenment from years of meditation and only says 'Hodor' to underscore the inherent futility of communication between groups woth different values, Hodor is extremely intelligent but was cursed by Maggie the Frog to only say one word, or C) Hodor is a brilliant mastermind who uses Obfuscating Stupidity to get everyone else to underestimate him while he secretly controls Little Finger, Varys, and Euron as the Puppetmaster from the shadows.

[Bobbity]

I'm actually a big fan of Jaime and Cersei being Aery's children. It would explain Tywin's mindless hatred of Tyrion - the weakness of his own seed - Cersei's madness, and Jaime's - in my eyes - greatness. He's a conveniant third head for the dragon, and it's ironic in that Aerys ordered Jaime to kill his own father.

Besides which, Jaime's aunt said something about this. She was referrencing personalities, as far as we know, but it could have an interesting double meaning. Besides, it would set the stage for massive friction between Jaime and Jon. Which is good, because character interaction is good.

[The Marquis de Leech]

Joffrey is not Jaime's at all, but is, in fact, the illegitimate offspring of Cersei and Syrio Forel.

Evidence, a quote from A Clash of Kings:

Prince Tommen was not so obedient. "I'm supposed to ride against the straw man."

"Not today" [Joffrey said].

[BastardSon]

Vary's is actually Prince Duncan the Small. He was casterated by a magician in an attempt by his father to hatch the dragon eggs. Some how he escapes the fire at Summerhall and makes it to the free cities where he meets Illyrio and gives him the eggs. He then contacts Aerys and since he can't father children accepts the role as his Master of Whispers. Thats why he supports Dany and why he "serves the Realm." This also puts him as a possibility to be one of the heads of the Dragons.

A second theory is assuming Ned is Jon's father and the previous theory isn't true. The 3 heads are Dany, Stannis, and Gendry, since House Baratheon have Targaryen blood.

[maxlongstreet]

Cersei's champion will indeed by Qyburn's monster, but it won't be Gregor Clegane - expect instead to see a rotting, headless Ned Stark.

(Those bones sent north? Fakes.)

[Kaitscralt]

Alright, now Robbwind is about as crackpot of a theory as you can get. So let's take it up a notch!

Robbwind Greyhead will not only be resurrected, but he won't just be a mindless werewolf that haunts the countryside. No! He will actually return to a position of power, and he will use his LEVEL 9 WARGING ABILITIES to routinely possess a puppet slave he keeps chained to him, perhaps Roose Bolton, whenever he needs to address the court. UnCat will be the Hand of the King and they will rule until the end of magic comes again.

BAM!

[Silverin]

Alright, now Robbwind is about as crackpot of a theory as you can get. So let's take it up a notch!

Robbwind Greyhead will not only be resurrected, but he won't just be a mindless werewolf that haunts the countryside. No! He will actually return to a position of power, and he will use his LEVEL 9 WARGING ABILITIES to routinely possess a puppet slave he keeps chained to him, perhaps Roose Bolton, whenever he needs to address the court. UnCat will be the Hand of the King and they will rule until the end of magic comes again.

BAM!

:agree:

Let me continue your theory:

And Robbwind Greyhead (this is such a good name It could be Robbwind Greystark as well though) reunites with his sister, Nimerya and her wolf pack as well. They will ressurect all the previous Lords of Winterfell from the Starks crypts plus Lyanna and Brandon, and since the North is full of graveyards (in AGoT Roberts notices and Ned confirms it, it is an old land), they will ressurect them as well, and will have a handfull of followers. And this way he will have the biggest army in all over the world. The Others will never past the Wall, the undeads that in someones dream were by the Tridents was actually his army conquering all of Westeros.

[Kaitscralt]

You're right, Robbwind Greyhead is funnier sounding but Robbwind Greystark has the epicness needed for ASOIAF -- so I'll start calling him by the latter. Good work.

And yes, an army of skeletons sounds much better and more intimidating than those blue-eyed wights.

[Tall Tyrion Lannister!]

Alright, now Robbwind is about as crackpot of a theory as you can get. So let's take it up a notch!

Robbwind Greyhead will not only be resurrected, but he won't just be a mindless werewolf that haunts the countryside. No! He will actually return to a position of power, and he will use his LEVEL 9 WARGING ABILITIES to routinely possess a puppet slave he keeps chained to him, perhaps Roose Bolton, whenever he needs to address the court. UnCat will be the Hand of the King and they will rule until the end of magic comes again.

BAM!

Nah what will happen is instead of Robbwind warging into Bolton, he'll speak direwolf and have Bran(who's hand of the king) warg in and out of Summer to translate.

[Alys Karstark]

Hodor is a Pokemon