[BOOK/TV SPOILERS]Television Without Pity nOObs Thread

[Donnycarko]

Current spitball - Shae is a Targaryen due to her name featuring "ae".

[The Warmth of Winter]

Current spitball - Shae is a Targaryen due to her name featuring "ae".

Yep, it's horrible, isn't it? :stillsick: Since she's apparently "immune" to fire and have a name following the new Targaryen "name rule", they're deducing ShAE is a flippin' Targaryen. That's what freaking happens when you over-mystify a character out of the blue like that!

[iheartseverus]

I just love it that they instantly (and sometimes quite cleverly) come up with nicknames and labels for characters. Stannis is of course the-Lobster-who-would-be-King. (HBO, you sorry yet that you came up with that weird description, that Stannis has the personality of a lobster?) Yoren is not-Jory, Jon Snow is emo-John. And now that they've met Walder Frey and saw his child bride and his 'castle', he's Gropey Frey and the Troll Bridge. Some smart, funny folks over there, I enjoy the hell out of reading their spitballs. I have to say that one from yesterday about the 'humbly confused foreigners' and the butt pluck was one of the funniest exchanges I've ever read. I laughed til I had tears in my eyes, laughed all evening, couldn't even read a book because I kept replaying that exchange in my mind and laughing my head off. :rofl:

[Maltaran]

Someone over there compared Joffrey to a weasel, and then immediately apologised to all weasels everywhere for the insult.

[The Human Abstract]

It's hard to tell sometimes whether its a book reader just being a douche or if some of the Twopers are really that insanely good with their theories. Both is probably true I mean I remember them during Lost they would analyze everything it was scary.

The most amazing one to me is the person who speculated that Jaime Lannister's character would be one that experiences redemption as the series goes on.

That seems like really remarkable intuition given how little they should know of his character thus far.

[Mya Stone]

There are a couple that are scarily accurate:

By the way the raved so much about Baby D being a boy. I would be positivly sad if it wasn't a girl. But I too am afraid that Drogo and Baby Drogo are goners. And then poor Dany, what will you do? You could do a magic trick so. You can give yourself a funeral fire and then hop out anharmed. The Dothraki seem superstitious enough to bow before that.

And this one in regards to Lancel's position now that Joff is too young to be downing all the wine that Robert did:

Well, with Jamie in custody, Cercei does need a new boyfriend, doesn't she?

Another poster followed that up by saying that Cersei seems too lazy to look beyond her family members. :lol:

[iheartseverus]

LOL, a random one-liner..

I really wanted Shaga to be revealed to be Stannis... his helmet made him look a bit like a crustacean.

Whatever actor is chosen to play Stannis (Mark Strong, please!) he's going to have a tough row to hoe. Before he says a word or does a single thing, he's already got a quarter-million smart, avidly-watching viewers eagerly anticipating Stannis the Lobster King. (TWoP reports they've passed 250,000 views in the GoT threads).

[Seerow]

and I think the "candle game" in the Lannister tent was such an anvil.... Shae could be a dragon - the black dragon to Dany's white dragon. See (here's my giant spitball...) I think Dany is literally a dragon... I think (as someone upthread suggested) that she will wow the Dothraki by stepping into Khal Drogo's funeral pyre... and emerging - (but my twist is this...) she is burnt to a crisp... but then the char falls off, revealing a DRAGON... she unfurls her wings, scoops up the three eggs and flys off to BBQ some zombonies (with her cousin Shae, who has been waiting to self-immolate & transform into her hidden true self).

This is by far my favorite spitball to date.

[iheartseverus]

Wow, this one almost hurts, its so off base. Whew, Tyrion's smart-ass brave front in everything he does just so obviously his desperate craving to be truly loved, ever, once in his life, by anybody...and we as bookwalkers know that there was that one time for him. Yikes, epic fail on this spitballer's take...

:stillsick:

I think Jaime's plan to get his little bro laid was really rather sweet. I agree that it gave Tyrion a chance to be a hero and, as he thought, to get laid for his Very Own Self and not his money. And Tysha sang him a song and kissed him. But after the whole thing backfired so spectacularly, it makes sense that in the future Jaime decides to plan no plans. Jaime's one saving grace is his legitimate affection for his brother. Otherwise I do not like him. I don't find him attractive, or amusing, or interesting. But I do like that he cares about Tyrion.

'Rather sweet.' Lordy, lordy, if they only knew what we know. LOL, this actually makes me hurt for Tyrion.

[aimlessgun]

Yep, it's horrible, isn't it? :stillsick: Since she's apparently "immune" to fire and have a name following the new Targaryen "name rule", they're deducing ShAE is a flippin' Targaryen. That's what freaking happens when you over-mystify a character out of the blue like that!

It is pretty amusing thinking about what actually happens to Shae, just turning out to be a gold hungry whore in the end.

The fact that being fire resistant has turned into such a big deal is both funny but also irksome.

[iheartseverus]

Here's one I really agree with--there's supposed to be magic in this show? Well then, damnit, show me the magic! Fingers crossed HBO does this right next Sunday--those dragons have to be born, have to come to life. Bring on Drogon, bring on Visirion, bring on Rhaegon. Bring on the magic!

The problem I'm having with the "magical" portion of this show is that we've only seen a very few clips of wildlings coming back from the dead as zombies. I need something more concrete to SEE, if this magic thang actually exists in this series. I WANT PROOF. I want to see what the fuck is going on in Chez Drogo, for example. Don't play weirdo freaky scary ooooooh noises and then not show me anything. This show better pony up - pun intended - next week and show me the magic. I'm just say'in...

[Rhodan]

Wow, this one almost hurts, its so off base. Whew, Tyrion's smart-ass brave front in everything he does just so obviously his desperate craving to be truly loved, ever, once in his life, by anybody...and we as bookwalkers know that there was that one time for him. Yikes, epic fail on this spitballer's take...

:stillsick:

I think Jaime's plan to get his little bro laid was really rather sweet. I agree that it gave Tyrion a chance to be a hero and, as he thought, to get laid for his Very Own Self and not his money. And Tysha sang him a song and kissed him. But after the whole thing backfired so spectacularly, it makes sense that in the future Jaime decides to plan no plans. Jaime's one saving grace is his legitimate affection for his brother. Otherwise I do not like him. I don't find him attractive, or amusing, or interesting. But I do like that he cares about Tyrion.

'Rather sweet.' Lordy, lordy, if they only knew what we know. LOL, this actually makes me hurt for Tyrion.

Where is this?

[Anomandaris86]

The most amazing one to me is the person who speculated that Jaime Lannister's character would be one that experiences redemption as the series goes on.

That seems like really remarkable intuition given how little they should know of his character thus far.

Not really. In the series his character has been revealed a lot more, whereas in the book he was almost exclusively seen through Ned's eyes.

[Rhodan]

The show really did a bad job in giving people idea that non-pathetic Targs are non-flammeble. If that were the case, we can thank gods that Others didn´t make wight out of maester Aemon - he would be a little desoriented but practically indestructible.

[Dalan]

I've been religiously reading the posts of our little unsullied over there and I worry for them. I worry that some evil bookwalker will come and post a random spiteful spoiler and turn some of the unsullied into sullied wights. I even considered going all Cold Hands on them, throwing some false spoilers their way so they to show them they need not fear the bookwalkers (after all, enough fake spoilers will cause them to distrust all spoilers, fake or otherwise).

But I reconsidered. It is not my place to protect them. They must grow up learn to fight the bookwalkers on their own.

[iheartseverus]

Where is this?

In the 'Baelor' episode thread.

[iheartseverus]

Interesting new insight over there, after much and thoughtful discussion of what they've seen of the story arc so far, especially after the 'event' in episode 9, of course. The last line tells a lot, I think, about where the Unsullied's expectations started at the beginning of the HBO series, and where they are now.

(Tyrion's) story about what Jaime did and then the far worse thing that Tywin did, made me realize that it isn't contempt for people, but closer to contempt for himself. That his father and brother basically taught him that. "The only worth you will ever have is in your money. You can never be loved, no one loves you or ever will unless you pay them enough to feign it."

Very well said. That post gave me great insight into Tyrion. Thank you.

Dammit, after the brilliant and moving write up you gave to King Robert (who was promptly gutted by a boar), now I am worried about Tyrion!

THIS feeling is the true genius of having Ned killed - now I am as jumpy as a long tailed shadowcat in a room full of rocking chairs!

This show will KILL ANYONE.

[Abaddon]

A great quote from the Baelor thread:

Here's hoping Jerome Flynn releases a few new songs, singing in character as Bronn. Titles include "My Love for You (Straight Out the Moon Door)" and "Ode to my Father (Not that you'd know him)"

:rofl:

[iheartseverus]

Its been so interesting following the recent discussions about the White Walkers--who/what are they? What do they want? Particularly interesting because in this case we don't know the answers any more than they do over at TWoP!

I am not really up on zombie behavior... but I'm thinking the zombonies are basically just weapons - aimed by their Masters at a specific target and do not stop until they have killed it (or are burnt up by someone). I kind of don't think they "want" anything individually, except to do the will of their Masters. What that might be... I have no idea. Maybe the white walkers just want to head south of the Wall to warmer climates for the long Winter... and don't want any pesky "first men" around to laugh at their pasty white skin. Hopefully we will see something of them (anything, please...) in the finale. Winter is coming... and more zombies, and hopefully a dragon or two...and hopefully no more dead horses.

[cklabyrinth]

Its been so interesting following the recent discussions about the White Walkers--who/what are they? What do they want? Particularly interesting because in this case we don't know the answers any more than they do over at TWoP!

I am not really up on zombie behavior... but I'm thinking the zombonies are basically just weapons - aimed by their Masters at a specific target and do not stop until they have killed it (or are burnt up by someone). I kind of don't think they "want" anything individually, except to do the will of their Masters. What that might be... I have no idea. Maybe the white walkers just want to head south of the Wall to warmer climates for the long Winter... and don't want any pesky "first men" around to laugh at their pasty white skin. Hopefully we will see something of them (anything, please...) in the finale. Winter is coming... and more zombies, and hopefully a dragon or two...and hopefully no more dead horses.

we do know a bit about them, though, which still isn't much:

Ygritte mentions Mance and the wildlings waking them up while searching for the horn. And also aren't they placated by Craster sacrificing his sons, or did I misinterpret that on my reread?