[BOOK/TV SPOILERS]Television Without Pity nOObs Thread

[ferthepoet]

For all the tragedy of the Red Wedding the most surprising dead for me in the books was not Ned in the first book or Robb and Catelyn at the Red Wedding, but Oberyn at the end of ASOS. If we get that far it would be amazing if the HBO got a really big name to play Oberyn, do big hype of the addition of this new big name to the cast, as well as push the Martells as the new big thing starting to sell Martel Sigil merchandise and all that, have the actor win everybody in 2 episodes by playing the character with Syrio Forel levels of charisma.... Then have things go exactly as they did in the book..... now that'll be punch.

[iheartseverus]

Some comments from the Unsullied about Jon's wolf-pelt stole:

Jon Snow's white collar of specialness is really starting to bother me. I can understand the producers wanting us to tell him apart from all the other Nights Watch people, but really? He's the ONE guy who gets to wear something that isn't all black? And nobody calls him on it?

It bothers me as well. It would not be allowed. However, it's helpful in letting the viewer quickly identify Jon, so I can live with it.

Even though it DOES keep taking me out of the scene. Every time I see it I have two thoughts.

1. There's Jon!

2. He would never be allowed that collar.

LOL, the white collar of specialness. :lol:

I agree with them, though. Every time I see Jon with that light grey wolf-pelt, I sort of stop right in the middle of the action to think: 'you can't wear that! its not black!'

[Maltaran]

A nice bit of geek humour - one of them was trying to make out all the names on the map that Robb and the northern lords are looking at, and spotted that the bay west of Seagard is called Ironman Bay. "Is that ruled by Ned's brother Tony?"

[Valkyrja]

Season 3 needs to happen so bad...

Yes! Even if the show gets cancelled after that, at the very least Joffrey needs to die ON SCREEN! :thumbsup:

[iheartseverus]

A nice bit of geek humour - one of them was trying to make out all the names on the map that Robb and the northern lords are looking at, and spotted that the bay west of Seagard is called Ironman Bay. "Is that ruled by Ned's brother Tony?"

Ned's brother TONY? Hahahahahahaha, that's freakin' hilarious!!

Here's another funny snarky comment, in a discussion about how the Wildings got past the Wall before being confronted at Winterfell.

I think there are tunnels that run through. I think I remember when Tyrion was at the Wall, that Benjen was going 'below' to get through the wall. So I would think all the wildlings would have to do is find one of these tunnels in an area of the Wall that isn't heavily patrolled, or patrolled at all if there are really running a skeleton crew, and just waltz through.

Why they decide to leave all their combs and hairbrushes on the other side, is anyone's guess though. Must be the magic of the Ice Wall.

[Abaddon]

Here's some great insight from that thread; I've always wondered about the motives of Varys which seem conflicting at times, even in the books:

Any coordination among the other Houses will be fatal to the Lannisters, I think.

Aha! This might be the core of why Varys wants a Targaryen back on the Iron Throne. A King of Westeros who comes from one of the 7 Houses will always be more unstable than a King from an independent dynastic ruling House like House Targaryen. A King drawn from one of the 7 will require alliances to stay on the throne, and other Houses will inevitably conspire and scheme to get their own Lord up to the pinnacle of power, creating inevitable conflict. Look at how long the Targaryen dynasty lasted before being overthrown (centuries), vs. how long House Baratheon ruled w/o a war (a handful of years). A foreign dynastic ruling House (with the added legitimacy of having had one of it's founders weld the Seven Kingdoms into one realm) would be inherently more stable and peaceful that a scrum between seven more or less equal Houses. The price for stability would be harsh rule and a heavy hand at times (and, occasionally, a Mad King), but one unified Kingdom would be much better able to face threats such as the White Walkers. Varys may believe that this is a small price to pay for economic prosperity, military peace, and unity in the face of adversity.

[Seerow]

I liked this quote:

Or, say, persuade them. Tywin can, for example, make a deal with the Greyjoys to give them the Riverlands if they defend the true king against the Stark/Tully rebellion.

Just goes to show how the Unsullied can so easily fall into the same trap that screwed Rob. Trying to give the Greyjoys anything.

[DireLlama]

IF the Dothraki cross the Narrow Sea to find Westeros overrun with White Walkers, they will have a serious case of invaders remorse.

I like that. Little do they know that they'll actually have to wait several seasons at least before any sort of invasion of Westeros might happen...

[Ranmyaku]

It's the biggest expectation of all non-book viewers that the biggest thing in Season 1, or perhaps Game of Thrones itself, is a Dothraki invasion. I was talking to a friend I introduced to the TV series, who has since picked up but only started the book, and he was saying how he doesn't think they have enough episode time left to get Khal Drogo to King's Landing, but he can't wait for it to happen.

There's some serious drama going down on the battlefields, but it ain't Drogo!

[iheartseverus]

I keep laughing at all the references to Stannis as a lobster, from way back in the beginning of the series Renly (Loras?) somebody, referred to Stannis as 'having the personality of a lobster. ' It was a very odd analogy and apparently its really stuck with the unsullied who're still waiting to 'meet' him. They've got all sorts of hilarious scenarios going--like the doors to the KL throne room crashing open and here comes this gigantic creature dressed in courtly attire, scuttling sideways and dragging an enormous claw behind him. Then, there's 'Wannabe King-Lobster,' 'The Lobster-who-would-be-King,' Lobster Baratheon,' on and on. Unfortunate analogy, HBO! You've created a lobster monster!

:lol:

[Asha—Not Yara!]

I love it too! I think there's going to be a bit let down for them that Stannis has no physical resemblance to a lobster. I'm going to ask my brother who hasn't read the books what he thought of the comparison. I took it to mean that he simply doesn't have a personality because I never thought of lobsters as much of one, but I've read the books, so I'm obviously biased.

Edit to add: My brother had the same interpretation that I did, that Stannis had a boring, uninspiring personality.

[iheartseverus]

Also interesting, they've just opened a new thread called 'A Dance of Dragons.' (Should be a Dance WITH Dragons, of course, as someone has already pointed out.) Anyway, any discussion from any of the books is fine there, including reviews, spoiler chapters, etc dealing with DwD. Too cool, gives us 'bookwalkers' a whole new venue to talk about the books!

ETA: This, from the new 'Dance' thread:

George has recently confirmed that more POV characters will die in the remaining books, but not necessarily in ADWD.

Grabs Jaime and tries to hide him from Martin's brutal pen.

[Songstress]

LOL... this one's a winner:

Tywin Lannister doesn't get ducks in a row, he slits their throats by the flock-full and personally field dresses them while delivering a speech about how stupid and disappointing and weak everyone else is.

[The Anti-Targ]

Regarding understanding accents

For instance, for one strange second I thought Ned, emerging from Robert's deathbed room said, "Give him milk of the puppy." before I did some mental math and realized it had to be "poppy". So at least I was spared another moment of "What the hell are these people doing to their animals?"

:lmao:

I think this is from the same person who waaay back thought Rickard and Brandon got covered in pigshit and burned alive (was pitch of course) until someone politely corrected them. Bloody funny series of posts around that little mis-hearing.

and

I felt so sorry for Sansa in that scene. "Oh good, the kid is only being faced by the person she's terrified of anyway, this ought to go splendidly." So I was simply glad to see her in one piece again, even if she's currently being batted around like a toy, at least she's alive. I know she's a pain, but talk about being outmatched. That was like Godzilla vs. a kitten.

I am not loving the Dothraki at present and really fear for whoever they do meet on the shores. I'm hoping for Zombies, or just about any form of monster that will give them a chance to find out that horses are great and all, but this whole "mount the world" business is not meant to be taken literally. Keep it in your funny pants there, boys.

[MyDogIsNamedDanerys]

:lmao:

I think this is from the same person who waaay back thought Rickard and Brandon got covered in pigshit and burned alive (was pitch of course) until someone politely corrected them. Bloody funny series of posts around that little mis-hearing.

and

Lol yes that poster is the best!

BTW, I read the books first on audiobook, and Roy Dotrice totally says "Milk of the Puppy" - I was honestly convinced that they made medicine from dog lactate.

[smegma]

:rolleyes:

Not at you, iheartseverus. Just in general. : /

[iheartseverus]

Solved. Thanks

[Blue Jazz]

I essentially decided to come out of years of lurking because this made me laugh my ass off. Rob's thread is titled "Rob Stark: Like a Boss" and someone posted this gem:

Thanks to this thread title, all I can think to say is:

Lead the North (like a boss!)

Call the banners (like a boss!)

Bite off fingers (like a boss!)

Let Lannister scouts live (like a boss!)

Dad gets imprisoned (like a boss!)

Swallow sadness (like a boss!)

Lonely Islands and Game of Thrones makes for a surprisingly hilarious combination.

[Rhodan]

This one just got pretty combination o right and wrong theories:

Does anyone think that Lyanna and Rhaegar's desire for her might have started the rebellion, rather than any overall restiveness with King Aerys being a tyrannical ruler and all-around nutjob?

I can see a couple of scenarios that get us to the events we already know about.

Lyanna is pledged to Robert when Rhaegar gets the hots for her:

A) Dad says that heirs to the throne can never marry anyone more distantly related than a first cousin, so Rhaegar asks if he can just requisition her as his mistress.

B) Dad says that a little intermixture of new blood every century or so isn't such a bad thing and this would further cement the fealty of the North.

King Aerys summons Lord Stark and Brandon to King's Landing:

A) He tells the Starks that their daughter is going to be Rhaegar's plaything. "Not while we're alive will Lyanna be any man's whore, not even a king's," they reply.

B) King Aerys tells them that Lyanna is going to be the wife to the next king. "We're super flattered, but she's betrothed to Robert Baratheon and it would be dishonorable to break that pledge," they say.

"Where are my matches?" says King Aerys. "I'll just take her then," says Rhaegar.

"He's stolen my beloved!" says Robert. "He's incinerated my father and brother!" says Ned. "Let's rise up against this tyrant. Who's with us?" say they both.

[The Anti-Targ]

Someone over there just spitballed Drogo's death. A reasonable enough spitball given the wound and getting an almost raped enemy witch to do the healing.

I still wish the wound was a little bigger. Then again people have gotten mighty sick from paper cuts.