Who's fatter?

[King Aerys the Just]

I second the man who said Robert Baratheon, he should be at least place four, after the other three mentioned in the thread. Though he was most likely magnitudes fitter and healthier than all the others, regardless of his fat. He still hunted boars with a spear for christ sake. I'd like to see Illyrio or Manderly try that. the latter actually looks so bad that he could be dying, according to Davos. On the other hand he is probably much older and than the other contestants, so his physique mustn't necessarily mean that he is the fattest. I'd probably rank Illyrio higher to be honest. The bedrobe being the size of a tourney pavillion, and he himself looking like a dead seacow washed up on a beach.

The Yellow Whale is sort of a special case though. I'm not even sure that he should count, considering that in his case his condition seems to be almost completely a result of a disease, not gorging. I don't know... personally I'd rank self created obesity over medical conditions, in a competition. Similar to steroids and such being banned in most sports.

Also how do we even measure it? In weight? In that case Robert probably defeats both Illyrio and Manderly, and might even rank close to the Yellow Whale. Considering his huge body frame and the muscles he still mostly seems to have retained. If it's about the proportion of the body being fat, then Robert probably loses to all the others.

Sam I don't think is even on the list, he just seems like a regular fat guy. Nothing extraordinary about him. The very fact that he could march his lard all the way from the Fist to the Wall without his heart bursting means that he should be in somewhat okay shape. I think suspect his condition is exaggerated by the people he meets, because of him being so weird and cowardly in general. If he had behaved like a normal person I doubt that he would have stood out very much.

[butterbumps!]

Good lord, 6 pages of this and no one mentioned Butterbumps, the "hugely fat" Tyrell jester: "An immense round fat man, as big as three Moon Boys."

[Lord of Cheese]

Butters is big but not quite in the same league as the three or four front runners. I'd put butters in the same league as Belwas and Sam.

now, we have some "Jaba Class" characters in Manderly, Illirio and The Yello Whale. Every time I read them I imagine a throne/court room and them sprawled out or over stuffing a wide throne with their servants beside them.

[butterbumps!]

Butters is big but not quite in the same league as the three or four front runners. I'd put butters in the same league as Belwas and Sam.

now, we have some "Jaba Class" characters in Manderly, Illirio and The Yello Whale. Every time I read them I imagine a throne/court room and them sprawled out or over stuffing a wide throne with their servants beside them.

Before I accept this, can I get everyone's measurements in "Moon Boys"? I'm with you on Yellow Whale= Jaba the Hut, though. That's exactly how I pictured him, but I had the impression Butterbumps might be perfectly round, like Violet after she eats that blueberry gum in Willy Wonka.

[Kittykatknits]

I don't even know what Ethiopian and Korean food are like! Other things that don't exist: bagels (don't think I've ever even seen one), pretzels, donuts. And Starbucks (I miss Starbucks!!!). I also resent that there isn't a good French restaurant here, or a good pâtisserie :(

Brazilian food depends on the region. We do eat a lot of meat but the traditional dishes in my State are all sea-food. Ever heard of moqueca capixaba?

Thinking of Ethiopian food just makes the drool fall from my face. A simple description: it is stew-like food that you eat using injara bread to scoop it up with rather than silver ware. It's insanely good.

And on that food. What is it and how do I pronounce that?

Before I accept this, can I get everyone's measurements in "Moon Boys"? I'm with you on Yellow Whale= Jaba the Hut, though. That's exactly how I pictured him, but I had the impression Butterbumps might be perfectly round, like Violet after she eats that blueberry gum in Willy Wonka.

Now I have an image of Left and Right needed to roll Butterbumps everywhere due to his round, sphere-like body shape.

[Khal Pono]

Here's one that hasn't been mentioned yet... Isn't Biter supposed to be enormous? Read the descriptions of him; he's grotesquely obese but freakishly strong as well.

[LordBloodraven]

Here's one that hasn't been mentioned yet... Isn't Biter supposed to be enormous? Read the descriptions of him; he's grotesquely obese but freakishly strong as well.

Biter is enormous but not fat. Rather muscled, I think. And there's Fat Zollo of the Bloody Mummers, although he's not in the Manderly level

[Khal Pono]

Biter is enormous but not fat. Rather muscled, I think. And there's Fat Zollo of the Bloody Mummers, although he's not in the Manderly level

I imagine he has great muscular strength under all that blubber, but I am pretty sure he's also enormously fat. All the descriptions tend to refer to Biter's copious, pale, "dough-like" soft flesh, which doesn't sound like hard muscle to me.

[Khal Pono]

The Yellow Whale is sort of a special case though. I'm not even sure that he should count, considering that in his case his condition seems to be almost completely a result of a disease, not gorging. I don't know... personally I'd rank self created obesity over medical conditions, in a competition.

Sorry to open a semantic/medical-philsophical debate, but I'm pretty sure "self-created obesity" is a medical condition, at least according to most doctors.

[Sand Snake No. 9]

I think the Yellow Whale is the fattest character that we have seen so far. Followed by Manderly. Illyrio is not so burdened by his weight: many characters describe him as moving very swiftly despite the layers of fat. Manderly cannot sit on a horse: to go to Winterfell, he has to go by barge and have many stops for resting. The Yellow Whale would need a GPS just to go to the restroom.

I think Manderly's slow progress to Winterfell by barge was a strategic move. He had to let the three ingredients, er, Freys, get far enough ahead of him so that he wasn't anywhere near them when they went missing. He hints as much to Davos (I think it was Davos). And who knows got on that barge with him to make plans?

[King Aerys the Just]

Sorry to open a semantic/medical-philsophical debate, but I'm pretty sure "self-created obesity" is a medical condition, at least according to most doctors.

Ah, you are right. I should have stuck with using disease.

[LordBloodraven]

I think Manderly's slow progress to Winterfell by barge was a strategic move. He had to let the three ingredients, er, Freys, get far enough ahead of him so that he wasn't anywhere near them when they went missing. He hints as much to Davos (I think it was Davos). And who knows got on that barge with him to make plans?

I agree, it was strategic but he's Lord-Too-Fat-to-Sit-a-horse. He cannot travel by horse, just as much as Illyrio. Roose expected him to come by barge (and to take a long time). I'd say his fatness was his plot armour

[Sand Snake No. 9]

I agree, it was strategic but he's Lord-Too-Fat-to-Sit-a-horse. He cannot travel by horse, just as much as Illyrio. Roose expected him to come by barge (and to take a long time). I'd say his fatness was his plot armour

Yes, Wyman certainly works his weight to keep his enemies off guard. I'm hoping that there will be a scene where some Frey or Bolton thinks he has Manderly cornered, and Lord-to-Fat-to-Sit-a-Horse whips out a warhammer, puts all his weight behind it and sur-PRIZE!

I wonder if he killed those three Freys himself? Heh. Heh.

[Lady Lea]

And on that food. What is it and how do I pronounce that?

It's a fish or shrimp stew and it's delicious. http://www.clerioborges.com.br/moquecacapixabafoto.jpg You have to make it in a special hand-made clay pot, though, or it won't taste right. mo'-KAE-ka ka-pee-SHA-ba ;)

So do you guys have a top 5 already? Obviously the first 3 are decided, so who's gonna be #4 and #5?

[Larry of the Lawn]

I just reread the chapter in ADWD where Davos and Manderly have the talk while the Frey's are feasting in the other room at the welcome home feast for Manderly Jr., and I gotta say, there was a bunch of mind-blowing, kingdom-oriented shit going on that I didn't understand in that conversation, but this was a real treat:

(this is on my Nook so I don't know if the page #'s translate) Davos, pg. 430

"I am fat, and many think that makes me weak and foolish. Mayhaps Tywin Lannister was one such. I sent him back a raven to say that I would ... blah blah blah"

And yes, Biter was pretty fat, and he had some pretty serious embrace-your-inner-cannibal going on, but I don't think he could be put in the same class as Illyrio, Manderly or the Yellow Whale. Mostly, because he's been a captive and a Bloody Mummer the whole time we see him. He has to work for each meal, while Manderly, Illyrio, and the Whale just make a little nod towards the nearest servant and food manifests itself in front of them.

Seven hells I gotta say, this was the goofiest thread title ever and I had zero expectations, but this has made my fucking weekend.

God damn Night's Watch, feed the beast!! Or else his fat pink mast may become a fat pink rudder, or fat pink oar. Sam's fate is tied to nautical metaphors.

ETA: Is your av sawyer from lost?

yeah if he keeps losing weight he's going to be sporting a barnacle at best. And yeah, it's Sawyer. I like to think he just got snubbed by Hurley when they took the photo.

[The Fallen]

` Someone mentioned Manderly's age. He's in his sixties so we would expect him to be fatter and softer than the other guys. The fact that Ilyrio has caught him with a 10-year handicap doesn't bode well for him.

[Kittykatknits]

God damn Night's Watch, feed the beast!! Or else his fat pink mast may become a fat pink rudder, or fat pink oar. Sam's fate is tied to nautical metaphors.

yeah if he keeps losing weight he's going to be sporting a barnacle at best. And yeah, it's Sawyer. I like to think he just got snubbed by Hurley when they took the photo.

Purely an academic question here but I wouldn't think weight gain or loss would have much impact on a man's member or am I wrong here? Didn't think there was a relationship between a man's weigh and the size of his mast. Anyone care to elaborate on this?

[Khal Pono]

Purely an academic question here but I wouldn't think weight gain or loss would have much impact on a man's member or am I wrong here? Didn't think there was a relationship between a man's weigh and the size of his mast. Anyone care to elaborate on this?

I think extremely fat man are generally less well hung, and not just proportionally speaking. Being really fat messes with your hormones, and that stuff can affect your size.

[Kittykatknits]

I think extremely fat man are generally less well hung, and not just proportionally speaking. Being really fat messes with your hormones, and that stuff can affect your size.

So a diet would probably increase Sam's mast then? Thanks for the info, never had a reason to look in to this stuff before.

[Fedelede]

Biter is enormous but not fat. Rather muscled, I think. And there's Fat Zollo of the Bloody Mummers, although he's not in the Manderly level

Nobody's on the Manderly level except the Yellow Whale. The man's throat got cut and he survived because of the amount of fat, for heaven's sake.