Whom do you foresee Arya having to marry, if anyone at all?

[Sand Snake No. 9]

Thanks for the welcomes. :)

I can take or leave the idea of Arya with one of them, but I think it's kind of unfair to assume it wouldn't just because of who their families are. Especially since they've been away form said families for awhile. On the other hand, I can see Arya doing violence to them if she got a chance, although I think her desire for vengeance is weakening.

It seems to me that everything in Westeros comes down to family, especially loyalty and revenge. Remember, too, that Arya was at the Red Wedding. I can imagine her hearing the name Frey, having a PTSD flashback and lashing out at the boy without thinking. If she did it with an axe, it would be downright poetic. Just kidding, but really, how could she stand to be reminded of that awful scene every time she heard her husband's name?

[Quiet Isle]

"Anyways, who knows what effect hanging out in brothels everyday is having on her. She may be less likely to value things such as monogamy and marriage because of it."

My gods you don't have to hang out in brothels to know that marriage is an institution. and if you want to live in an institution, go for it.

[ARYa_Nym]

"Anyways, who knows what effect hanging out in brothels everyday is having on her. She may be less likely to value things such as monogamy and marriage because of it."

My gods you don't have to hang out in brothels to know that marriage is an institution. and if you want to live in an institution, go for it.

I don't see those two issues as connected.

Anyways, while she was doing that she already rejected marriage offers. Her family and septa failed in getting her to want it and I would imagine that life experiences would further effect her views on relationships.

ETA Sorry, I forgot to repy:

Now I want to see her dressed up as a fine lady just because she'd hate it so much. :lol:

Nothing wrong with that. Some of the comments in this thread have reminded me of (and I'll put the title in spoiler tags, since I'm about to give away the ending)

Deerskin by Robin McKinley.

In it the heroine goes through hell and back, but finds a man she can love at the end. However, she tells him something to the effect of "I'll stay for now, but I can't promise you forever." I can see Arya being in a relationship with those terms. I can even see her story ending with a marriage, but with the understanding that she'll come and go as she pleases.

She's been dressed up a few times and complained every time. Once in an acorn dress, another in pearls, another time in lace and was dressed like a doll, and perhaps one other time with no description.

I haven't read it. I think at this stage it would be a lot for her to just show without a doubt interest in someone by the series end if that even happens.

Gendry is the closest to it but even that is debatable and/or isn't enough given her sexual orientation is still questioned. Of course liking him wouldn't eliminate non hetero orientations but she gets questioned mainly due to being perceived as having a lack of interest and imo because she isn't feminine.

[They see me R'hollin]

Haven't you ever seen a WK thread?

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the "having to marry" in the thread title. Why will Arya have to marry, that really bugs me. More so, why is it assumed that IF Arya marries that it must be to Aegon, Edric, or Gendry? She's still young, hasn't met one, doesn't care for the second, and has barely thought about the third. Not a fan of the idea that she needs to be with one because her aunt/uncle/father/best friend's third cousin twice removed has history with a Targ, Baratheon, or Dayne.

Leave my title writing skills alone :(

I meant "have" as in whom do you think the author will marry her to, if he does. Go easy on me, English isn't my first language.

[Arachne]

It seems to me that everything in Westeros comes down to family, especially loyalty and revenge. Remember, too, that Arya was at the Red Wedding. I can imagine her hearing the name Frey, having a PTSD flashback and lashing out at the boy without thinking. If she did it with an axe, it would be downright poetic. Just kidding, but really, how could she stand to be reminded of that awful scene every time she heard her husband's name?

Certainly, it would be a problem now, but I think being with the Faceless Men is helping her get over the traumas she's been through. And if I were the Frey kid, I'd want to take my wife's name if at all possible. Being named Frey has to be a huge embarrassment for any of the sane ones. If there are sane ones. And why am I even bothering arguing this issue? :lol:

She's been dressed up a few times and complained every time. Once in an acorn dress, another in pearls, another time in lace and was dressed like a doll, and perhaps one other time with no description.

I don't remember the pearls and the lace. Was that back in GOT? Maybe I should have said again, but I was thinking that going the whole nine yards, with silks and fine jewellery, would be a bit different now that she's a bit older.

I haven't read it. I think at this stage it would be a lot for her to just show without a doubt interest in someone by the series end if that even happens.

It's a really good book, but there are sexual abuse scenes that are really hard to read. It's kind of like ASOIAF in that the author was taking a sugar coated story and telling it like it would really be.

Yeah, any discussion of Arya's potential love life is kind of moot when we don't know at what point the story will end. I'm kind of hoping that if she isn't in her late teens by the end of the story Martin will write a short story or two so we find out how she turns out. Assuming she survives. I believe he has said she's one of his favourites.

Gendry is the closest to it but even that is debatable and/or isn't enough given her sexual orientation is still questioned. Of course liking him wouldn't eliminate non hetero orientations but she gets questioned mainly due to being perceived as having a lack of interest and imo because she isn't feminine.

As a tomboy geek, that kind of annoys me. All my favourite characters tend to get questioned that way. Not that they can't be non-hetero, but I hate the assumption.

[ARYa_Nym]

I don't remember the pearls and the lace. Was that back in GOT? Maybe I should have said again, but I was thinking that going the whole nine yards, with silks and fine jewellery, would be a bit different now that she's a bit older.

They're all from ASoS.

"It was even worse than before; Lady Smallwood insisted that Arya take another bath, and cut and comb her hair besides, the dress she put her in this time was sort of lilac-colored, and decorated with little baby pearls. The only good thing about it was that it was so delicate that no one could expect her to ride in it."

Then they stole all the clothes that Lady Smallwood had given her and dressed her up like one of Sansa's dolls in linen and lace. But at least when they were done she got to go down and eat...she sat in the common room in her stupid girl clothes."

I don't think she would mind jewelry. She wanted to look for Rhaegar's rubies in AGoT and imagined that the FM had treasure such as sapphires and pearls. I don't know if she would wear it though but would rather hoard it.

Ice Turtle did an analysis of it in the water motif thread where she was most comfortable in Lady Smallwood's dead son's clothes than the dresses.

[MotherMerciless]

Call me a sucker but... Gendry.

[ShadowCat Rivers]

IF Arya ever marries it will be at the end of the series, to inform the readers "this is how they lived after". I don't think it will be important for her strory.

Anyway, no one could ever force her to marry. She's gone too far to allow anyone force her about anything.

As for potencial relationship, Arya is a little girl still, but a part of her is already a sexually mature adult.

They will tell you that she has been known to bring aurochs down all by herself, that no trap nor snare can hold her, that she fears neither steel nor fire, slays any wolf that tries to mount her, and devours no other flesh but man.

Why do we have to be informed about Nymeria's sexual behaviour? I think there is some forshadowing there and that Arya is going to follow the wolf's pattern of behaviour in these matters. After all, as far as we know, she embraces the wolf identity more than any of her siblings.

What do we know about wolves:

1. They mate for life

2. There is a certain order of hierarchy in the pack. The alfa male is the pack leader. If Nymeria accepts a male, she de facto surrenders leadership and becomes second in command.

So, IF this is a hint about Arya's future relationship, it can't be Gendry, Ned Dayne, Trystane, or I don't know who else she has been "shipped" with. None of them is awesome enough to make her accept him as her leader. He must be someone who not only she likes but also she deeply respects and trusts.

The only person that we know of who fits the above criteria is Jon Snow.

Don't kill me people! I'm not shipping it, I 'm just risking a prediction :)

[idler]

The only person that we know of who fits the above criteria is Jon Snow.

Don't kill me people! I'm not shipping it, I 'm just risking a prediction :)

White or grey pups, that's the question... :dunno:

[MotherMerciless]

Well Gendry hasn't exactly grown into a "real man" yet. And plenty of things could happen to shape him up into the man Arya deserves. Of course, I am being sentimental about them, and I am sure Arya could find a good match in Braavos, or in the North... Heck, even a nasty Dornishman...

What do we know about wolves:

1. They mate for life

2. There is a certain order of hierarchy in the pack. The alfa male is the pack leader. If Nymeria accepts a male, she de facto surrenders leadership and becomes second in command.

Well I always saw it as this: Alpha male and Alpha female are both in charge. An Alpha female will turn on her male for instance, if he comes too close to their cubs too soon, and the male will "obey" and step back. You don't tend to see an Alpha male forcing his female to be submissive. Second in command is usually a Beta male, the peace keeper, the backup.

Arya could very well find a man who values her as a fighter (Dornishman *coughcough*). And when you look at Gendry, he has no problems with Arya's dominance, he might be surprised at it, and might make fun of her being 'a lady' for laughs, but he does admire her fire. Not once has he tried to make her feel less than him, nor weaker than him, but he would always speak out if he disagreed with anything. No acts of dominance over her. He accepts her for what she is, who she is is a different matter. Who she is might scare him a bit.

[Sand Snake No. 9]

<snip>

Good points all! Pretend there's a "like" button and i just pressed it three or four times.

[ARYa_Nym]

Interesting points.

On the wolves mate for life I think that solely pertains to Arya's bond with Nymeria.

For example, we have the wild wolf Brandon Stark who was not monogamous at all. Not that there was anything wrong with that. He may have been engaged but that was arranged and he wasn't married yet although he may have continued his behavior.

It's too early to say if Arya will be like her uncle there or will be like her parents. I've seen Asha thrown around. However, she does have casual sex but she also wants to marry Qarl. I think she would settle down if she were able to.

Nymeria may not mate because she sees her grey cousins as unsuitable males. They aren't strong enough for her.

Or it could be because she sees mating as a threat to her dominance and refuses to allow it. I've mentioned elsewhere that alpha male lions for example kill threats to their dominance too so that's what could be happening here.

On Gendry he's a follower imo not an alpha male or someone to share power with. He's not her equal. He's bitter about the power difference between them too.

She dominated Edric Dayne as well. He was begging for her forgiveness and was following her around.

Trystane has no lines I think. He just plays cyvasse and Myrcella dominates him in that game I believe.

Arya says she can never love a coward so maybe she does want a dominant strong personality.

[Alice in Westeros]

I think she'll take a male identity (thanks to her FM training), and marry Dany. For no other good reason than it would be awesome.

You know Arya is Dany's type, ruthless assassin BAMF not scared of anything etc.

(I'm not saying that I think any of them is gay, I just think it would be cool)

[Mulled Wino]

I'd have Arya's babies.....

[They see me R'hollin]

I think she'll take a male identity (thanks to her FM training), and marry Dany. For no other good reason than it would be awesome.

You know Arya is Dany's type, ruthless assassin BAMF not scared of anything etc.

(I'm not saying that I think any of them is gay, I just think it would be cool)

Why does she have to be a man for that? If she's gonna get involved with Dany then the two of them can rewrite the rules and live as two badass Queen lesbians.

[Cinder Stark]

I keep seeing this argument repeated again and again, but I can't remember when she actually said anything like this. Is there a quote that supports this stance that Arya doesn't want to get married?

No, the only evidence Arya doesn't want to get married in the books, she's a tomboy so obviously she remains a tomboy, she tell Ned in AGOT that she's not Sansa, who implies her children will be lords and ladies, and Robb arranging a marriage with the freys for her. Arya, IMO in the comes comes off as a kid, her perception is bound to change. Look at Lyanna, she was a big tomboy, who eventually grew out of it.

[ARYa_Nym]

AGoT is not the only evidence.

I posted them. One of which in AFFC she didn't want to be married any more than she wanted to be a courtesan.

“You believe this is the only place for you.” It was as if he’d heard her thoughts. “You are wrong in that. You would find softer service in the household of some merchant. Or would you sooner be a courtesan, and have songs sung of your beauty? Speak the word, and we will send you to the Black Pearl or the Daughter of the Dusk. You will sleep on rose petals and wear silken skirts that rustle when you walk, and great lords will beggar themselves for your maiden’s blood. Or if it is marriage and children you desire, tell me, and we shall find a husband for you. Some honest apprentice boy, a rich old man, aseafarer, whatever you desire.”She wanted none of that. Wordless, she shook her head.

As I've said an honest apprentice boy sounds like Gendry and if she didn't want those options she could also have said I want to marry this type of man.

She stays in ADWD when he tells her that she will be no one's wife or mother. If she truly wanted that then she should leave.

Sure she could be like Jon and change her mind but she hasn't yet.

I also posted the song which I interpreted that she doesn't reject a lover but she does reject a husband.

ETA: I should note that you can be either a tomboy or feminine and not want to get married. It's more a matter of personal choice.

[Ice Turtle]

AGoT is not the only evidence.

I posted them. One of which in AFFC she didn't want to be married any more than she wanted to be a courtesan.

As I've said an honest apprentice boy sounds like Gendry and if she didn't want those options she could also have said I want to marry this type of man.

She stays in ADWD when he tells her that she will be no one's wife or mother. If she truly wanted that then she should leave.

Sure she could be like Jon and change her mind but she hasn't yet.

I also posted the song which I interpreted that she doesn't reject a lover but she does reject a husband.

But the offer wasn't Gendry. It could be that besides being young she doesn't want to be married just to be married. If she had agreed she would have been married to some nameless, faceless (heh, no pun intended) guy she had never met and it would also mean giving up her "career and education". For Arya the other person in marriage would be more important than marriage itself. As she hadn't met that person yet (or was too young to notice) logically she doesn't want to marry.

[ARYa_Nym]

But the offer wasn't Gendry. It could be that besides being young she doesn't want to be married just to be married. If she had agreed she would have been married to some nameless, faceless (heh, no pun intended) guy she had never met and it would also mean giving up her "career and education". For Arya the other person in marriage would be more important than marriage itself. As she hadn't met that person yet (or was too young to notice) logically she doesn't want to marry.

It could be someone who is like Gendry. It's the same way Gendry has found himself someone who has a similar relationship dynamic with him who was already said to act like his wife.

She is free to offer what she wants. She can say I want to marry this lord or that lord. She didn't have to say yes to his options but she could say yes to the quiet life then she could meet a nice boy to marry or she could say find a way to get me into a position where I can get a beneficial marriage.

Via her family arrangements she was poised to marry someone she wasn't supposed to meet anyway. Elmar Frey. In war time that can happen. Jon Arryn/Lysa or Alys/Thenn.

Her career and education are incompatible with being a wife and a mother. She knows this. No one can do both is what the KM told her. If she values marriage and having a family then the FM is not for her.

Bran also said that she would never do it when he heard about the marriage and Jon had serious doubts.

There's more evidence against her wanting marriage than there is for. It makes no sense to stay in a death cult where marriage has no place imo if she was someone who valued it.

[Ice Turtle]

It could be someone who is like Gendry. It's the same way Gendry has found himself someone who has a similar relationship dynamic with him who was already said to act like his wife.

She is free to offer what she wants. She can say I want to marry this lord or that lord. She didn't have to say yes to his options but she could say yes to the quiet life then she could meet a nice boy to marry or she could say find a way to get me into a position where I can get a beneficial marriage.

Via her family arrangements she was poised to marry someone she wasn't supposed to meet anyway. Elmar Frey. In war time that can happen. Jon Arryn/Lysa or Alys/Thenn.

Her career and education are incompatible with being a wife and a mother. She knows this. No one can do both is what the KM told her. If she values marriage and having a family then the FM is not for her.

Bran also said that she would never do it when he heard about the marriage and Jon had serious doubts.

There's more evidence against her wanting marriage than there is for. It makes no sense to stay in a death cult where marriage has no place imo if she was someone who valued it.

I think that Bran meant it more in a way that she will never marry someone just because she was told to do so. Especially not some Frey.

FM are also against their members killing for vengeance. Arya was told so, but she clearly doesn't plan to obey in that.