Larry. Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 *idly wonders What Would El Pollo Jodido Do* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 *idly wonders What Would El Pollo Jodido Do* Cnaiur. A question: Is that a normal size chicken? (seriouly -- a coworker asked. and I haven't read the book) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Ha! I didn't say Who El Pollo Jodido would do Although I believe he brakes for hens And from memory (from 7 years ago or so), it's a normal-sized chicken. It just not only looks evil and feels evil, it's evil...manifest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hark Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 It just not only looks evil and feels evil, it's evil...manifest! It must have flown out of the little girl's ass due to the sheer force of the blow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Man, that would be awesome! Shitting a chicken that is not a chicken, but evil manifest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hark Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Man, that would be awesome! Shitting a chicken that is not a chicken, but evil manifest! I'm feeling a Melisandre moment coming on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I....I almost felt like I truly was 'touched by Goodkind' there for a moment! I don't know what came over me! But I got better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zap Rowsdower Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Are you serious? That’s the storyline? That is so lame! Oh, that's not the whole story, oh no. You see, to place that spell on her, one of the bad guys had to cut off one of her nipples. Eventually it works out so that Richard finally figures out what was going on after the woman tries to kill him. He sees that she only has one nipple and then puts two and two together. To make sure he is not surrounded by enemies, Richard then orders his pet mord-sith into his room and orders them to take their tops off so he can inspect their breasts. He sees that one of them has the same sort of spell cast over her. So what does Richard do? Does he kill her? Have her imprisoned? No, my friends it is much worse than you can possibly imagine. Richard hugs her. Yes, he hugs her and in so doing he breaks her one nipple enchantment through the power of love, or some crap like that. When I read this scene, my jaw simply dropped to the floor. I had never read anything so contrived in my entire life. After reading it, I realized that the entire purpose of the nipple spell was simply to shoehorn this scene into the book. During the scene Richard didn't tell the mord-sith why he wanted them to take their tops off and he let them assume he was simply doing it to take advantage of them in the same way that old, evil, Lord Rahl had done in the past. However, once Richard solved the problem the mord chicks were falling all over themselves to apologize for ever doubting the purity of Richard's intentions. Man, that scene made me want to barf. Especially since I myself still had some doubts about the purity of Richard's intentions. I couldn't help but notice that he never deigned to check the nipples of his male bodyguards. And in closing, I will leave you with this brief quote from "Blood of the Fold." Please accept my gift in the spirit that it was given. "But you are the Lord Rahl. You can have any you wish. Even me. This is what the Lord Rahl does; he has many women. You have but to snap your fingers." Richard got the distinct impression that she was definitely not making an offer. "Is this about when I put my hand on you, on your breast?" She glanced away and nodded. "Berdine, I did that to help you, not because... well, not because of anything else. I hoped you would know that." Terry Goodkind, "Blood of the Fold" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazzlebane Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Holy fucking shit. Only Goodkind could have come up with the Evil Chicken. As I said, the worst thing I've ever seen in fantasy fiction. But it looks like Goodkind's got all the runner-ups, too. This nipple spell is incomprehisibly stupid (so stupid I forgot how to spell that word -- it rotted my brain just to read the synopsis). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 What happens if the nipple is cut off the chicken that is evil manifest...? Just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asa Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 What happens if the nipple is cut off the chicken that is evil manifest...? Just curious. Richard would discover that the nipple itself was actually evil manifest, and what was tainting the chicken. The chicken would then become his best friend and wag his tail while all the other characters laugh at stupid dialogue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I dunno, I half expect to learn later that Richard has a taste for 'chicken,' if you know what I mean *feels dirty typing that* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Ah...and here I thought he'd've just taken the chicken to concubine...or put it in proper red leather... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Except that's the chicken that's not a chicken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Man that gets so confusing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 That's because you're too stupid/young to be reading and appreciating Goodkind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I prefer to think of myself as young/stupid as opposed to stupid/young. I think it sounds better that way...but either way, guess I don't appreciate it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I just prefer not to ponder how a chicken that is not a chicken could be a chicken in the first place, if not a chicken, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 that should be "cluckcluckcluckcluckcluckcluckcluckcluck" I always imagined it to be more like a "bwaaawkbwakbwakbwakbwaaaaawkbwakvbwakbwak" thing, rather than a "cluckcluckcluckcluckcluckcluckcluck" type thing. What do you all think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I just prefer not to ponder how a chicken that is not a chicken could be a chicken in the first place, if not a chicken, Oh great...now I know I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight with that thought pounding in my head... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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