SkynJay Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I will always cherish this Christmas gift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon AS Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Rockson is the greatest Christmas present as he's the gift that keeps on giving! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 Hooray for Doomsday! Merry Christmas everybody! So it looks like the centennial Russian Civil War is now being portrayed as a good thing? Because I would have thought that's the tactic they would take last book: Russkies fighting each other = fewer of them over here. But for some reason Rock/Stacey (who can tell anymore?) insisted that it would be better for FREEDOM if they include a proxy war in America so that...I dunno he wouldn't feel left out? But maybe now Rock has changed his mind and will stay out of bloody Russian politics. It was probably Rath's stupid idea to get involved in that sort of bloodletting in the first place :bs: I hope that there remain sufficient clues of his intelligent leadership that we can remain in the Team Rath camp, and he doesn't turn into a mouth-foaming, freedom hating villain to make things more obvious for us dumb readers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 Those brief glimpses into the manliness that is Rockson warmed the cockles of my frozen, bah-humbugged heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAH Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 So, for this Christmas Day Special Edition, MinDonner Industries is proud to present... Doomsday Warrior #9: AMERICA'S ZERO HOUR [...] Brief potted history of CC follows, but we know all that already. And then they start finding some bodies - lots of children who had been "on an excursion to see the full extent of their subterranean haven". Um. Has Stacy forgotten already that the nuke was dropped right at the end of a massive battle with Nazis, involving the construction of several dummy cities in neighbouring mountains, mass mobilisation of all CC troops and huge casualties? (of course he has, duh). Sure, you want emotive dead children to show how eeevil the enemies are, fine, but with so many perfectly good reasons to have kids sheltering in the deep tunnels, why the fuck would you go with "they were on a school trip"? First: Yay!! Secondly: I think any freedom-loving city makes sure that their kids aren't pampered, mollycoddled and generally pussified with that kind of lily-livered attitude. Shelters are inherently defeatist in nature, it shows the enemy you actually fear his puny nukes and decadent Nazis. No, keep a stiff upper lip, lads, and we'll carry the day yet. The best day for school trips of your subterranean haven is obviously when some douchebag is violently redecorating it with a bomb. MURICA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacuna Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Hellooo? Echo! Echo! Echo! Echo..! :worried: So alone... :crying: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 Ha! OK, OK. I'm off work this week so I'll see what I can rustle up later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Joy! BTW I'm pretty sure Rockson's been posting in the US politics thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkynJay Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Joy! BTW I'm pretty sure Rockson's been posting in the US politics thread...Can't be him, people who question US actions are still alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 Many moons ago, I recall making a comparison between Rockson and Minecraft, which share many odd similarities, from the blocky characters who only barely resemble actual humans, to the strange physics and the use of punching to solve all problems. It's appropriate, then, that I've just spent the last two weeks digging tunnels and blowing the shit out of them with TNT (I'm trying to dig a pit in which to build a giant replica of the Number of the Beast album cover, ssshhh, don't tell my local friends, they don't get to see it till the end of April by which point it will hopefully be finished), when Rockson is doing the exact same thing beneath CC.They are also clearing up the debris using "small hand-held vacuums", which suggests that either the Rock Squad's pockets resemble Minecraft Steve's and can carry several hundred blocks of cobblestone, or that Stacy has never actually used a vacuum cleaner and has no idea of the average capacity of even a regular-sized one, much less a small hand-held. Rockson pulled out the blueprints of the elaborate tunnel system. There were hundreds of passageways - many of them built when the original highway had been linked with mineshafts over a hundred years earlier. There were tunnels for ventilation, for electrical connection, to different sections of the two-mile long structure. In addition, thirty three-foot-wide thermal heat shaftways had been dug out over the last century by the builders of the Freefighting city. They contained hot steam from volcanic sources.See? Cos in the real world, commuter-belt highway tunnels are ALWAYS connected to mineshafts and volcanic vents, no?Rock orders Detroit to set a small charge at the next pile of debris... but something went wrong!A storm of granite and collapsing concrete roared down towards them tearing the supports out from the main tunnel's reinforced walls. They turned and began running, but instantly were being pounded by the crumbling roof of the tunnel.Cleanup crew FAIL. No wonder Rath doesn't trust these guys to do shit; I'm surprised they're even allowed access to explosives.Someone screams - it's Lyons! Who is Lyons? Stacy didn't even bother to introduce this particular redshirt until after he was squashed, but I guess that's an efficient use of our time. Rock, of course, manages to outrun the collapse with a flying leap... but now he's alone! Could the rest of the squad have been all killed by the cave-in, before we even get to page 13??nopeAnyway, he hears Archer calling out from inside the rubble; Archer is trapped under a giant boulder which has somehow managed to trap him and yet not even cracked a rib, so Rock pushes it off with some ease, then they go hunting for what remains of their fellows. And they find...It was a body, a human body in a rad suit. The Doomsday Warrior's face blanched as he pulled the helmet off. The man's teeth popped out like broken marbles, the head cleanly severed from the crushed bloody torso of a body. Shit - he couldn't even tell who it was anymore.One down, ??? to go - no, we have no idea how many redshirts there were in the group, Stacy didn't bother to mention this, in fact if you only read the first part of the chapter you'd think it was just him, Chen and Detroit on cleanup detail. But it looks like Stacy is already a bit bored with this rubble-traversing, cos just a few short paragraphs later:"Rock! Rock, is that you?" A voice came back from the other end, sounding as dim and muffled as if it was on the moon."Yeah, I hear you, thank God," Rockson yelled, letting his taut gut relax for the first time. He had been sure they had all died except Archer."It's Chen, Rock. Believe it or not, we're all here except Archer and Harrison. Bruises, blood. But everyone's alive!"This conversation is apparently being had through ten or fifteen feet of heavy debris, and apparently there's no time to dig it out, so Rock has a Drastic Plan:"...the moment the blast ends, run, you hear me? - run like wolves are on your ass, even if I'm... not around."Yeah. And who here thinks that Rock will not survive this explosion that he's nobly setting off to rescue his friends at dire risk to his own life? Anyone? Bueller? Selfless heroism is rather tawdry and meaningless when you know the author has your back.Yawn, surprise, everyone survives (not counting poor whatsisname and that other dude), they all run out of the corridors and then head back up for decontamination at the purple-light sonic-vibration place (handily convenient both for the outside world and for the deep underground tunnels!) and at last the chapter is over.Gee, good job they didn't listen to Rath and his "don't go down the radioactive tunnels" plan! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Rockson is back! Thanks Min! "It's Chen, Rock. Believe it or not, we're all here except Archer and Harrison. Bruises, blood. But everyone's alive!"What an odd thing to say. For one, we already established Harrison was killed, and what about poor Lyons? Is he not important enough for Stacy to remember? Or is Stacy pointing out that Chen is racist and all white people look the same to him? What's that you say? It was never established what color Harrison and Lyons were, and despite their exceedingly anglo names, it's possible that they were of Somali and Brazilian ancestry? Sure they were...keep telling yourself that. RIP Lyons and Harrison. Isn't it odd that the Rock squad, in spite of consistently low numbers, never even bothers to learn the poor redshirts first names? Man, someone should write a Scalzi novel about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted June 5, 2014 Author Share Posted June 5, 2014 Just so you know, I feel terribly guilty about not taking advantage of my current World Cup incarnation to post any more in this thread. I still have the book kicking around my living room, and hopefully I'll get back to it soon, but the grinding awfulness of it is just so offputting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Just so you know, I feel terribly guilty about not taking advantage of my current World Cup incarnation to post any more in this thread. I still have the book kicking around my living room, and hopefully I'll get back to it soon, but the grinding awfulness of it is just so offputting! I think that the World Cup personas have the potential to make this so much better though! Perhaps the reason that America is still struggling to overcome the Soviet shackles is that Rockson doesn't have a proper Italian sidekick. I give you Antonio Italiano, the mustachioed, hard-working*, pizza making**, not at all associated with organized crime***, deadly street fighter****! * Examples include on the soccer pitch and seducing your wife ** He also makes pasta. *** He collects all the garbage in Century City! Well, not him personally, but they guys who do collect it insist he's the boss. **** His favorite character is Chun Li. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted June 5, 2014 Author Share Posted June 5, 2014 If he's also a plumber then I'm down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 It's America's Zero Hour! Will Rockson save the day, or is freedom DOOMED?! Will the simmering conflict between Kim and Rona escalate to actual words exchanged? Will Rath be able to hold things together in spite of Ted's incompetence? The world must know! Save us Min! Edit: Grammar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorshach Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 It's America's Zero Hour! Will Rockson save the day, or is freedom DOOMED?! Will the simmering conflict between Kim and Rona escalate to actual words exchanged? Can Rath be able to hold things together in spite of Ted's incompetence? The world must know! Save us Min! How dare you, ser? How dare you?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 How dare you, ser? How dare you?? Not strong enough? Do you think Rockson's megalomania can no longer be attributed to incompetence, and instead is the product of malice, misogyny, and racism? You may be right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in...OK, OK, I know I've promised this before, but I swear I will try to get back on this at the weekend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerenthaClone Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Yesss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacuna Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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